Being a over a year gamble free is New terrority for me as I have managed a year on previous attempts to manage this addiction.
No urges and know I won't gamble again but I'm suffering with the aftermath of what my gambling addiction has caused like debt and forever having a cluttered mind. I recently landed a job earning a decent salary which I cannot enjoy because I'm in debt due to gambling, I should be comfortable finacially but i'm not and it hurts, it hurts that I have 6 more years of being in debt unless something drastically changes. I want so much more for my life.
It's more often than i would like that I find myself up at 0200 in the morning because I can't sleep thinking about where I should be in my life, how can I make extra money to get out of debt faster and the heaviest of all knowing I can't have children until I'm debt free because it's not only my life it affects it's my girlfriends as well.
Times aren't always like this though I do feel so much better for not gambling and lying to my loved ones.
Mainly trying to focus on myself getting my life on course to where I think it needs to be, it's just difficult to focus when having periods like this and letting everything that is wrong or i'd like to change in my life clutter my mind.
Hi, I am awake to. Find it hard to get my head around this addiction.
You are doing so well gamble free. As gamblers we are impatient by nature and want it all now !
You are being so hard on yourself and I hope you can start to let some of what your feeling be more focused on how
you have been so brave in overcoming this. Money and debt go hand in hand with the habbit and I can understand
how you feel. What you have been through is a life changing addiction be easy on yourself x
Hi Random,
Big congratulations on the year!
It's hard not to be pessemistic but try not to look at where you could have been as you might never have got there even without gambling try and look at where you are now and where you can go from here.
There is light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Just keep thinking every minute is one closer to the end and one away from all the turmoil.
It's hard as a gambler not to dwell on the past and the amount we lose. It is however harder to find strength to fight the constant urges in the battle against gambling and you've managed that! 😀
Chin up the future is bright!
Thanks guys.
I agree it is just hard when your feeling down to appreciate how far I've come. Feeling better now though I think it might have been a bad day. The debt is a hard pill to swallow and will continue to be so but it's decreasing which is the right direction.
Need to focus on my habits/routine again which I first learned was key to fighting this addiction, I got into a good routine of reading and listening to audiobooks trying to find answer why I suffer from this addiction and learning how I can change my life for the better on the whole not just gambling related.
Feeling down again.
Not sure if it's because christmas is 2 weeks away and it's far from my favourite time of year. Going on holiday boxing day but I'm not really looking forward to it as I've still got to find spending money. I've done about 10% of my christmas shopping so more money needed for that.
Sometimes I just have days where I struggle with everything, I don't want to go to work, I end up eating junk because I don't want to cook and I just feel like staying in a dark room and switching off from everything. Then I feel selfish I have friends that are going through things like not being able to have babies, miscarriages and lifelong diseases. I have so much to be grafteful for times like this it's really hard to appriciate them.
feel better after being in the chatroom for an hour with likeminded people all at different stages in their journey.
may sound selfish but it hits home how far I've come, i've been there when you're the new one on the chat amazed how people can speak of doing weeks gamble free and you can barely take your mind off gamble for 15 minutes. To having gone over a year gamble free and be in a position to tell people they can get through this.
Great to chat to you, random, over on the chat just now. You are demonstrating it can be done. As you've said, most of us on the chat are on week 1 or 2, or need help getting kick started. You are coming out the other end, and that is testament to your character, support network and practical steps that were all initiated by you. Your advice was very welcome tonight; thank you.
Likewise Mixer, you were a great help in me realising that i have come a long way.
Approaching the year and a half mark gamble free.
Still focusing on myself to come out of this a better person and using it to drive me onto better things for me and the important people in my life. I'm determind to not let this be the defining factor in my life. I still have up and down days but I'm feeling positive at the moment. The fact i will be paying this debt off for another 5 years at least is always on my mind but I have lots of positives in my life to focus on.
Hi Random,
Well done on the year and closing in on 18mths that is no mean feat, self discipline and hard work. You should be proud of yourself for what you have achieved.
This road will never be an easy one but we will all walk it together.
Try not to beat yoursel up too much about the past, it is a cliche but there is no way you can change it, you just keep shaping your future.
Stay safe and strong.
Paulds
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