I fell asleep last night thinking of gambling. When I closed my eyes I could see the big win I have longed for...... we all know that will never come. The notion of winning back my loses has come into my train of thought on more than one occasion. However the difference this time is I know i can't as I have put all block in place.
I have found it very difficult to concentrate today with so many thoughts going on my head. I am disappointed with myself for putting myself in this position.
I calculated all my gambling transaction on my debit card today and it appears that I have not spent £10000 on gambling it is actually £13000 this is not including my credit card transactions. The reality of the extent of my gambling is sickening.
I am taking it one day at a time. Today was better than the day before and that day was better than the day before that. I am hoping that eventually I will find away to remember what it feels like to be a normal functioning being without my thought process focused on gambling.
Hey movingon, you will feel better but that old saying is true " time is a great healer " start being a bit kinder to yourself stop adding up the losses. You are torturing yourself no good will come of keeping adding things up, draw a line losses behind it and in front no more losses. I don't know your financial circumstances obviously but try saving each week even if it's just £5 a week do something positive with your money instead of keeping looking at the losses. I know none of this is easy I'm still living this and repaying debt but I know it's getting better and I'm looking forward to the day when the debt is gone. "Winning a jackpot" the gamblers fairy tale , I challenge you to think that actually this is a nightmare. Wouldn't it give you fuel for a whole new level of destruction ?? Take care
Thank you, this is good advise I will try this. I have set out a plan to pay back my debts. When gambling is removed from my life I can pay off all my debts in a year and save at the same time I am focusing on that.
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