I've used the diary as a tool in the past to remind myself of how gambling makes me feel and the impact it has on others around me. I didn't want to be back in this place of darkness and sadness but i am. I know i am a compulsive addicted gambler, but this time i have managed to stop myself maxing out all my cards.
Over the last 3 weeks i managed to win approx £2k and as you do, forget the problem even exists. Until, as every gambler does, i got greedy and wanted to win more and more. I couldn't let the winning feeling go and thought i would keep going. Over the last 3 days i have lost in excess of £1k and i have been chasing money online via roulette. It still scares me how i can lose £100 in 2 spins in a matter of 2 mins. I sometimes wonder if online gambling didn't exist and i had to hand the money over in cash, would i still do it? However, im not here to make excuses but simply face facts.
I have been years gamble free very recently and i must get back to being that happy person again. I have a fantastic life to look forward to and im due to be getting married next year. I will keep this opening post fairly short but i felt the need to vent on here and use this as a tool for keeping myself gamble free.
Being up meant you had started gambling again so question is are you here because you want to stop gambling or because you want to stop losing?
This beast cannot be tamed & the only way to survive compulsive gambling is to accept that we can never gamble again...Stopping for short periods just allows us to sort out our finances & go harder when we get back on it.
You need to draw a line, get things out in the open with your partner & do things differently this time, being back @ square 1 after 3 years on this site is proof that it’s not enough.
No point wondering whether you would be able to hand over the cash quite so easily when blocking software or a downgraded bank account would physically stop you gambling online & yet you appear to have neither? You can’t pay gambling lip service & all the wondering in the world be it about putting a bet on a different subject, withdrawing when we were up, different types of gambling is all part of the poor mindset that we get into. It doesn’t matter whether you would hand the cash over, what matters is what you do now. Time to start making the right choices - ODAAT
Thanks for your reply.
My initial comments were not overly clear. I agree with everything you said and the comments i made were to get my thoughts out in the open.
I am 100% on the fact i am a CG and also i know 100% i cannot gamble at all. I am working closely with a counsellor on my reason for gambling which is due to a lack of self confidence and anxiety issue.
1 week today. Small steps but im happier with how i feel today rather than this time last week! Logging into here reguarly helps me so i must continue to do so. Happy Monday everyone
Keep going Jason! and keep logging in, I'm on day 12 and do the same, I feel if I log in each day and have a quick read it keeps me on track. All the best!
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
