Hi everyone,
Unfortunately, I'm back. I stopped gambling for 2 years and have since slipped back into my bad habits. I have help from my partner, who is in charge of my finances, and money is given to me for the week, on a Monday. A few times I have blown this by Monday evening, but it limits the losses. 40 quid instead of emptying my bank account.
During my two year spell, I paid off 20k of debts, so positively I'm debt free. I want this to continue, and begin to compile some savings.
My urges are really bad right now, and I've already lost my funds for the week, so today I am adamant to stop once more. The energy I'm using to defeat this every time is becoming increasingly more draining.
I hope this all makes sense, I'm typing it rather quickly and on my phone, but the bottom line is I want to stop this for good this time. The safeguards are in place to stop me losing vast sums, but the money pales into insignificance, as all I want to do is quit the lies, heartache and worry, for not only me, but those supporting me.
Tomorrow will be day 1. I'm looking forward to a gamble free day
So in essence you should be Happy as opposed to not happy! Try and do what you did before when you paid off your debts. Unfortunately we sometimes think if we can sort our debts out we should be OK! Truth is we are CGs and gambling is a luxury we can ill afford as it ends up in heartache every time. Stick close to whatever you did before and sty positive. Gambling sucks the life out of us along with the lies and cheating. Only way is be true to yourself and move forward with your life.
Take care
Thanks smiler, hopefully further down the line I can drop the Not off my name.
Today was fairly easy in truth. No money available to me, so no chance of a slip. From past experience, I remember the first three weeks being extremely difficult, and then gradually getting easier.
This addiction has burned bridges, relationships and my self esteem many times now, I simply cannot let it take control of me again, or I really so fear the worst for my state of mind.
Its time to focus on the positives and start doing things that I used to enjoy again. I also really want to work on my diet and exercise as over the years I have deprived my body of food for days on end to feed an evil machine with my food budget. Anyway, enough of my incoherent ramblings for today. Looking forward to tomorrow, a night out with my friends. Both a challenge and a healthy distraction from the past few months.
Cheers for now.
Hi mate,
Just wanted to wish you all the best had a read of your diary and it seems like this is a major issue for you as it is for all of us, had a bit of a disaster myself this week so am also on day one so just to let you know your not alone and one day doesn't seem much but I'm sure you can do it because, well you've done it before so it can't be that hard as long as you keep true to yourself and think of what you could do with the money bit by bit instead of "oh it's x amount" I'll just bet it. That mindset has spoiled me. Anyway hope your doing ok and good luck with your journey I'm sure you will easily be able to manage another two years and then if it works out even longer ? For ever sounds good now huh ? Make it happen I'm sure you can !
Don't worry...
Be happy 😉
Batman
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