determined to stop this

Hi love
Wasn't sure which post to reply on...
Great news you've told hubby and he wants to support you...
I'd advise...
Ring the helpline...
Report you cards as stolen...cutting them up is no good if you've reme.bered all the numbers...
Set up some internet blocks...
Read diaries on here for advice and ways to help yourself...
I was you some 600 plus days ago...
But with a lot of hard work..focus..and support things will change....you've just got to want to make the changes...good luck love

Hi velvet, I saw you on the other page too. Anyway I'm wife of cg and advice is nothing joint. Pay your money to his account then there is no temptation. My husband found giving up booze much easier than the gambling, it's a good idea.

Thank you both for your advice i really appreciate it.

Well it's been a week. No gambling or drinking. I haven't dared look at the mess of my bank accounts yet and I'm not sleeping, but on the positive side I've not had any emails or letters from the banks so I must be just about solvent still. Payday on Friday so a step towards getting back on track. I have no urges to gamble and pretty sure I won't as long as I stay sober. My husband continues to support me, but I am struggling with guilt and my mood is very low which is having an impact on our relationship. He is of the opinion that "it's only money, nobody died, we'll sort it" and whilst I appreciate this i just feel so bad that I've let everyone down. Self disgust is so hard to deal with especially in the middle of the night when you can't sleep, or thinking of things my kids might be missing out on right now because of my stupidity. Hopefully I'll start to feel more positive soon. I need to look at my bank accounts, but I just daren't I know I lost around 4.5k, but I'm not sure. It could be more, it could be less. Either way I know I'm in a mess and need to confront it, I'm just really worried that it was a lot more which wasn't covered by overdrafts so I'm not actually solvent. My husband hasn't asked how much. I know I need to look, but I just can't bring myself to atm.

o*g, I thought it was a week yesterday, but it's today. I can't believe the days have gone so slowly, this last week has felt like an absolute lifetime. But, it is a week and I haven't gambled. I STILL haven't dared look at my bank account. Because I've cut up my cards, the only way of doing this is to go online and the thought of that makes me feel sick right now.
My husband is being especially loving and supportive, trying his best to gee me up, I couldn't love him any more for his efforts, but I still feel like absolute s##t. I know I'm not helping myself by not seeing how bad it is financially, but I'm so scared it's worse than I thought, because what I think it is is really terrible. I'm so weak.

So, I got paid today and finally bit the bullet and checked my accounts. I'm just about solvent. The next few months are going to be difficult financially and otherwise, but at least I know where I am now. I'm still feeling awful, but there have been glimmers of hope that I will hopefully start feeling better soon, so long as I remain gamble free. My husband is such a rock, I'm so lucky that he is so supportive. We were rock solid before, bit this has bought us even closer. We only got married in the middle of this year, I couldn't have married a better man. We've all got our health, if not prosperity, which is the most important thing. I need to be more thankful for what I have instead of fretting and getting down because of what I've lost. Tomorrow i WILL feel better.

We'll, I'm still GF after 13 days. Don't feel it's much of an achievement though because I haven't had a drink and I don't gamble if I don't drink. We've been invited to a Halloween party next weekend so that will be the real test as there's no way I can go to a party where there's loads of people without drinking. I'm not a confident person. I haven't discussed this with my husband yet, but will before we go so we can make contingency plans of some sort because I know I'm vulnerable when drinking. Anyway, life otherwise is ok. Still not sleeping still hate my job. I have got another job though which I start in Dec. Much better paid, so will be able to clear the overdrafts a bit quicker, if I remain gamble free that is. I've been reading alot of other people's posts on here. I'm heartbroken for some of the stories. I need to crack this now because I don't want to be in the same position as many poor souls I've read about. If I carry on gf, I'll have had a very lucky escape, despite losing thousands of pounds over the last 15 years, I've always managed to sustain it without going totally under, I don't want the worry and guilt anymore and I certainly don't want it to escalate like it has for others.

Hi velvet7, well done for starting to plan in advance of how you're going to manage the party. What did you think of Loxxie's suggestions to put some blocking software in place? You might also consider changing your bank cards and getting your husband to scratch off the numbers on the back so you can't use them online. Give us a call on the HelpLine 0808 8020 133 or chat to us on the NetLine - we can discuss your options with you and offer you further face to face support if you would like.

Best wishes and we hope you enjoy the party.

Forum Admin

Hi again, thanks for the reply. I have installed blocking software on my laptop. Can't seem to ind anything for my (Windows) phone, however, I have ordered a new modem from my internet provider which has the function of blocking any websites I choose. The only problem is that you have to enter each one manually and I just can't face trawling the internet looking at gambling sites atm. I have self excluded from every one I'm aware of being a member of on my phone, but I know that for every one I'm excluded from there's probably going to be a hundred more I'm not. All debit cards have been cut up from day one. Luckily I did a big shop the day before my big loss this time, so I haven't had to spend much over the last couple of weeks. We had a bit of cash in the house,so petrol etc has come out of that. I'm planning on not getting another card ordered until next pay day, if possible and then only cash cards. My husband came home last night with wine and cheese and we got tipsy. As you probably know, this is a trigger for me, but happily, I didn't even think about gambling other than thanking God in my head that I was having a nice night in with the person I love and that I did not want to feel like I did two weeks ago ever again. It's early days and it's going to take time to get to where I need to be financially, but I'm feeling a bit more positive. Thanks so much for your support. X

Came home from an extremely stressful 13 hour shift at 21.40 resulting in stopping off to pick up a bottle of wine. Child no. 2 home unexpectedly , divulges stuff that we talk about and really worries me. Missing my other children. Really struggling.

I absolutely know that if I log on somewhere I won't have to think about all of this right now, but will have to face it later, same shВЈt but more debt, but please, I don't want to.

Hey Velvet, just dropped in as read the above and can see you're going through it. I hope you manage to stay strong but keep posting no matter what. You know gambling will keep your mind off your worries temporarily, but it will also make you feel worse in the long run...its not worth it!!!

Thanks so much. Woke up with that all too familiar sickening feeling, but happily as I came round out of sleep realised, with immense, relief that i had managed to resist. The urge was so strong. I can't tell you how much of a difference this site has made. I logged on here instead of a new money and life draining alternative, and it helped me focus, I'm si relieved. Need to install that modem asap. Thanks for your support. X

I know self exclusion isn't the be all and end all solution, but I can't help wishing that the planned self exclusion from all online gambling sites with one email actually happens sooner rather than later, if it's happening at all. Does anyone have any updates they know of?