determined to stop this

Well done for resisting, every time you resist a big urge like that is a victory and 2 fingers up to the gambling demons!

Keep it up.

Yes Must, still riding high on the feeling I got knowing I hadn't given in the other night. Changed shifts at work so no party tonight as early start in the morning, so no anxiety there either. Feeling moor positive today. Thanks. X

20 days, still GF. Carving a pumpkin right now. Keep going everyone. Thanks for all the support.

Day 24. Not a good couple of days tbh. My son is poorly again and has been admitted to hospital. Still no gambling though.

Hi Velvet7

Sorry to hear about your son, hope he is ok.

Just make sure you do not let this get you down and let your guards slip. Gambling now and having to deal with the consequences of that is not going to help you look after your son - sorry if that sounds a bit too obvious.

Look after yourself

Muststop123

Hiya Must. It might be obvious, but useful to have here in writing to look at if i feel any urges, so thanks, i so appreciate your support.

Went out with my husband last night and got very drunk. I wanted to go and visit my son, but he is refusing to see me and it really upset me so we went out for a "couple" of drinks to dampen the pain. Ended up getting absolutely trollied. Awoke this morning with a total feeling of dread and a banging head. First thought "oh sh#t". My gambling has only ever been when I'm drunk and out of control, and, in the past i have literally gambled thousands and had no memory of it in the morning, just the tell tale sick feeling and the laptop open on the living room floor and the subsequent horror and clean up operation of course. Anyway, so i come round this morning early and realise, with relief that i have not gambled, or,it seems tried to. I can't even explain how good i feel about this. A couple of paracetamol and a gallon of water, and everything's alright, as opposed to panic, shame, financial ruin and guilt, guilt, guilt. This is a big step for me, husband reports that i didn't seem weird in any way and we came home, cooked a curry, watched a bit of TV then went to bed. I was pretty drunk, but i have wracked my brain this morning trying to remember if I had any thoughts of gambling at all last night, and, to the best of my knowledge, it didn't cross my mind. In times of great stress i have always got drunk and gambled. Last night i just got drunk, and whilst i realise this is not ideal, it's progress. I don't drink that often, i can't because of my job, but i do tend to binge drink to excess occasionally which combined with ridiculously expensive gambling splurges have cost me very dear over the years. The fact that i got very drunk last night without thinking of gambling is a big plus. I know i need to be very, very careful though, i know I'm by no means out of the woods.

Well done on not gambling - hope the head is feeling better:)

Hi Velvet, fhanks for your message on my diary....

Firstly I hope your son is on the mend and that things will get back to normal soon on that front.

It can’t be easy going through something like that and having gambling lurking in the background, waiting to pounce at any opportune weak moment you may have.

So credit to you last night for resisiting and fighting any urges away.

You’re doing fantastically well, almost approaching 4 weeks free from gambling. With each day that passes, you should be feeling prouder and prouder of yourself. And so is everyone else too. Both in your life right now and here on the GamCare forum. You’re making so many people proud of you.

Keep fighting those daily battles. You’ll ALWAYS come out on top if you do the one simple thing and not gamble. There are no other terms and conditions to follow. It’s that simple 🙂

Thanks guys, have a great weekend x

34 days and counting. Keep it up everyone. Been poorly last couple of weeks off work with depression. Starting new job in a couple of weeks so hopefully will feel a bit better. My son still in hospital and hasn't been able to see me yet, but hopefully will soon, maybe today. Things are pretty bad, but i know they'd be a whole lot worse if i added gambling into the mix. Keep strong and safe everyone.

Hi Velvet

Good to see you back on here - don't be a stranger for so long again (its been a week!), I need to see you doing ok as we started at similar times.

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad and having to deal with your son being in hospital. Hopefully new job and seeing your son will allow you to start feeling a bit more positive.

Well done on 34 days!

Muststop123

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Day 44 gf. Sorry, Must, things are so hectic at home atm, still very much committed, just not that organised!! I do feel more positive thanks, son still in hospital, but more receptive to contact and engagement. Still not back at work, aiming for my nights starting Monday, that's my last week before starting new job, so things are looking up. Thanks for your support Must. Keep going.

Well, here i am day 51. Life is extremely difficult, son still in hospital and very poorly. Did my last shift last night and due to start my new job Monday, mood still low and periods of anxiety. However, no gambling, and thankful for what I've got. This site has kept me from gambling so fat and the support shown is truly humbling.

*far lol.