Diary of boo radley

hi boo cheers for post in my diary, you're doing great! See u in chat, Adam xx

Well what a wonderful afternoon.  42nd Street the musical in theatre shown on cinema.. Beautiful show. Nice company 

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Back home.. Pj's on.. Sausage n mash for tea. Been to diet club. Not put on.. Good good good

All in all a very pleasant day spent enjoyably and wisely.. Look forward to chat later 

Sounds absolutely blissful boo....glad it has been a good day ?

Chat was lively tonight. Some new names

I wonder of Christmas brings this addiction home more. Ie the lack of money. Which could have been saved or spent. 

Whatever brings us here thank goodness for it. 

My week off work has been good. I dreaded having spare time in case I wandered off to gambling. But no. Kept to my decision and pleased with myself. 

I  struggle when younger people come on site. I hope they keep returning and recover. My gambling started at a later age. Guilt hangs over me as I should have known better. Been wiser. But no. 

I'm still in control of some money. A manageable amount that is enough just for the needs of the day. And my savings growing. 

For those who popped into chat tonight.. The jigsaw has progressed 

Sleep well. Wake wiser. Night all boo xx

? good news on the jigsaw front, time to get the next one! 

Sleep well. Hoping to wake up with a voice again tomorrow...
 

Morning had broken.. 

Dark and murky put

Not hot a super busy day today and feeling settled albeit that my 11 day annual leave is over.. Back to the grindstone tomorrow.. 

Not so grinding though as the money is put to better and wiser use... Not gambling

These 11 days have flown.. Been busy. Been productive mentally.. 

I've engaged with society again and myself. I no longer look at the clock looking for the time when the casino opens so. I can drive to if. Sit and squander my money in a trance putting myself in a place where the conversation is just about winning/losing.. Basically soul destroying..

I would sit there 2to 3 hours Drive back somedays a win. Cash in my purse. And guess where it went the next consequtive days.. 

Had no spare cash. Cash was vital for the slots... Forever checking bank balance. Hopi ng they would never stop my overdraft just in case I would need more.. Did get overdrawn once for a few months But hated it so much. Worked extra paid it off..

Then one Saturday afternoon I was there and a bloke from our local walked in. Spoke as he's very pleasant and said he didn't have me down as a secret gambler.. I shuddered.. I said lying truthfuy of course I wasn't. He said my secret was safe with him.. 

Hence hello gamcare as well as to cut out the mindless hours and the total lack of respect I showed for money toMe and my loved ones by gambling. 

Hope Tuesday is a good one folks.. See you in chat 

Boo xxx ?

Morning Boo, just popping into say hi while I top up my caffeine levels. The more diaries I read the more I think that our paths to GamCare are unique but identical at the same time. 

Enjoy your final day of leave. Will pop into chat for a short while later

Dentist visit over.. ?

Why are dentists so handsome.. Aww well. I have my Mr b. R... No dentist but out on his little  job he loves 

Downside... 

Driving back.. Gambling add on radio. Chirpy later trying to say how wonderful it is and get us on board.. Yes.. We. All k now its the panto season 

Bye for now.. Boo x

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I hope you are all sorted for today and ready for work tomorrow. That jigsaw must be nearly finished now ?

Just wishing you all a blissful sleep and rest. 

If you've been wrestling with negative thoughts today then let tonight turn them around. 

Chat was encouraging tonight.. If lou drops by then stay strong lou. Xxx 

Work it must be tomorrow. I will earn no idle bread. 

Today has been good for me.my cravings to go the casino get less. But I am aware one false move and.. Oops its curtains again. 

I still feel a little intolerant at times. I actually am quite focused on my spreadsheet of money. 

Work tomorrow so no chance of gambling. No time.. But as I say the cravings are dwindling.. 

I have the Christmas Market on Saturday. New hat.. Bag.. Might even get some new running leggings.. Who knows..

The guilt still tugs. Again a time thing.. And talking helps. Being here helps offloading the confession of being a gambler. Not an easy admission of one's self. But this is where I am.. My path is linear to the future.. I will not go back to day 1.

More of the jigsaw done.... ?

Nite and bless all.. Be wise. Boo xxxxxx

You too Boo. I wish you a good first day back at work tomorrow.  

Goodmorning 

So back at work after 11 off

Need to get back. Get in check and organised. My life needs some structure and pattern. 

So dark these mornings they make me yearn for the spring.. But by Dec 20th at least it begins get slightly lighter. 

Slept well.. I hope to chat later tonight. Reception is so. Poor st work it's a no no for dinner 

Talking of which will be a chicken salad and some fruit. I am sure the day will fly. We are always busy. Which is good. Keeps me on my toes and out of mischief. 

Going do my day savings now.. I just skim across a small amount daily then one big save monthly. Having new kitchen flooring next week will absorb any extra cash but its going to look great. 

Have an easy day all.. Work rest and play as they say.. 

Bye for now boo x

I hope you are going back to work with your battery recharged boo, have a great day. 

Well welcome back to work.. Oof busy.. Run off me feet.. But the day went so quickly. Never had time for a gambling thought until home and an ad came on the tele.

Called into chat tonight.. Very lively chatter. Some concerns but seems we get them out in the open with each other..

Work surprised me. New member of staff started who I've worked with previously. Not bonded well previously. But a person can change. And she has.. Very supportive and long may it reign. It can be a very gritty area where I work.. It tests a lot of skills and patience but we go we see we conquer. 

Day off tomorrow... Several things to do.. So no straying off course again. 

Our builder is coming next week to do kitchen work... But as the money to pay him is in the bank I have told him I am going transfer it to him this week.. He's trusted. So no temptation for me either. 

Generally my mood is good. I feel positive and motivated and sensible enough not to gamble. 

I have actually at the time no desire to go near a casino... I feel angry with the gambling world and its greed.. But then again so was I wanting to win more. 

I'm sure that I must be the oldest person on chat.. And I so strongly want all the younger souls on here to stop this habit. Enjoy there life and future. I still don't understand how I got through life for so many years and then got hooked into the gambling.. Almost seven years.

I can't change the past though.. But the past can change me.. 

I'm happy I have my diary and chat. Where I can talk. Where everyone is impartial. No bias. No favouritism. Lifting me up when down.. Moments of quiet laughter even in darkest day.. But solemnity and understanding and caring.. Not wanting others on here to feel the pain we have experienced as we know the pain and the hurt is so physical at times it's something we don't want others to bear..

I'm OK.. I'm ready for a good night's sleep and to waking to a bright new day.. Wish you all goodnight..

Boo x

Work on the kitchen just before Christmas is brave Boo! Glad you have tomorrow to recover from today. I suspect I could be a legitimate grandma to some of our gamcare friends on chat so I am with you on so much wanting to help those younger. It is just heartening to see them reach out for help though.

Sleep  weel and enjoy your day tomorrow Boo.