So everyday it gets closer and closer, this time next week I could be a father! There is so much going on in my head this past while unrelated to gambling that has me worrying and waking up during the night. I've lost weight too, not sure how much as I'm afraid to step onto the scales. Last night while watching a TV show I actually laughed and was happy for the first time in weeks. It's not becoming a father that worries me, I can't wait for that - it's everything else that surrounds it. Living arrangements aren't settled as much as I want them to be and I seem to be saying or doing one wrong thing after the next. This is where the gambling is the least of my worries! I wish I could sit down with my OH and talk through everything but communication was something we were never good at and I don't want to rock the boat so to speak so close to the birth. A major worry is the outside influences in our relationship mainly my mother in law to be. She is a total nightmare at times and it's draining being in her prescence when she's in foul mood. Her own family can see this all going on as well. It's been happening too long but I'm afraid my OH will take her mums side like she always does.
Just finished painting the baby's room last night and then find a layer of water under the kitchen sink. Plumber coming tonight hopefully to sort it. Obstacles to overcome but perspective is needed - there are a lot of people far worse off than I am. On a bright note no gambling, I haven't had time to think about it!
Great progress Jax! Keep it going. Its been all good over here too. Tough at times but 22 days without gambling.. Looking forward to many more days.
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