feelbad

Favdoc

Fella I believe that your on the correct site deanyboy has written some fabulous advice along with other good folk, it is without doubt true that to embrace recovery you have to peel off all the layers, recovery from this addiction for me is like building a jigsaw, first and foremost you have to put all the pieces on the table.

You ruminate about your losses because currently you cannot move past them, you are simply going around and around in circles.

There is no answer to the losses, one huge step in your recovery will be letting them go, at present they are your hidden secret that eats away at your mind.

The question I ask is, is the fear of your wife leaving due to your financial loss the reason you don't tell her, do you think you are protecting yourself? Because looking over the fence it would appear that you by continuing to hide the losses you are further damaging yourself.

I speak from experience, yes the admittance of all my own losses affected my wife greatly, emotionally and physically but it offered us a piece of our own recovery jigsaw by doing so.

I hope you don't keep going around in circles fella, addiction will be waiting, watching your every turn in the hopes to attract you again.

Gambling offers nothing but further carnage.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Exactly.....chuck the blame game entirely on yourself, be honest, confront it and work to resolve it, FORGET what has happened, you'll never get that back, FOCUS on the time NOW and plan your future....IF your wife finds out later, do you think she'll be OK about it knowing that you've not told her for how ever long it takes you to admit your failings and that you've held it back for so long??? I tell you now, she'll be worse....and as they always say...'why didn't you tell me'....then what do you say??? Make excuses that you were protecting her...or yourself!

You're not on the wrong site if you want to deal with gambling addition, I'm 53 days in and clean...the longest I've been for over 35 years, I've been gambling since before I was a teenager...this 'therapy' of talking to people who TRUELY understand the pain and suffering we cause to ourselves and those we love and trust, is far better than talking to any phyc who knows nothing, except what people tell them and they read in their books....read some stories on this site...there are worse stories than yours and mine, and we are all DEALING with it and resolving it! DON'T let the neggo bug bore into your brain and tell you that you can't do this, stop making excuses, take responsibility and deal with it....may sound hard, but it's the only way....it's worked for me-and I was in tears (AGAIN!) and thought after 27 years of marriage, that would be it....but you know what, our true 'friends' in life, stick with us through all of our recovery...it may take the rest of your life (I was advised that you never truely ever stop being a gambler, you just abstain!) but stick to it...it will make you happier and give you something to look forward to...your life!

The past has gone, the future isn't here yet, but the present is here, now, and they call a present a gift! treat your life, like it's a gift...

duncanmac wrote:

No dunc by losing my wife I mean physically we have a lot of family problems not related to me Would you risk your wife having a stroke?

Favdoc

Fella I believe that your on the correct site deanyboy has written some fabulous advice along with other good folk, it is without doubt true that to embrace recovery you have to peel off all the layers, recovery from this addiction for me is like building a jigsaw, first and foremost you have to put all the pieces on the table.

You ruminate about your losses because currently you cannot move past them, you are simply going around and around in circles.

There is no answer to the losses, one huge step in your recovery will be letting them go, at present they are your hidden secret that eats away at your mind.

The question I ask is, is the fear of your wife leaving due to your financial loss the reason you don't tell her, do you think you are protecting yourself? Because looking over the fence it would appear that you by continuing to hide the losses you are further damaging yourself.

I speak from experience, yes the admittance of all my own losses affected my wife greatly, emotionally and physically but it offered us a piece of our own recovery jigsaw by doing so.

I hope you don't keep going around in circles fella, addiction will be waiting, watching your every turn in the hopes to attract you again.

Gambling offers nothing but further carnage.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Deanyboy wrote: i would still fear her having a stroke we have other issues in our family not related to me that would be too big a gamble

Exactly.....chuck the blame game entirely on yourself, be honest, confront it and work to resolve it, FORGET what has happened, you'll never get that back, FOCUS on the time NOW and plan your future....IF your wife finds out later, do you think she'll be OK about it knowing that you've not told her for how ever long it takes you to admit your failings and that you've held it back for so long??? I tell you now, she'll be worse....and as they always say...'why didn't you tell me'....then what do you say??? Make excuses that you were protecting her...or yourself!

You're not on the wrong site if you want to deal with gambling addition, I'm 53 days in and clean...the longest I've been for over 35 years, I've been gambling since before I was a teenager...this 'therapy' of talking to people who TRUELY understand the pain and suffering we cause to ourselves and those we love and trust, is far better than talking to any phyc who knows nothing, except what people tell them and they read in their books....read some stories on this site...there are worse stories than yours and mine, and we are all DEALING with it and resolving it! DON'T let the neggo bug bore into your brain and tell you that you can't do this, stop making excuses, take responsibility and deal with it....may sound hard, but it's the only way....it's worked for me-and I was in tears (AGAIN!) and thought after 27 years of marriage, that would be it....but you know what, our true 'friends' in life, stick with us through all of our recovery...it may take the rest of your life (I was advised that you never truely ever stop being a gambler, you just abstain!) but stick to it...it will make you happier and give you something to look forward to...your life!

The past has gone, the future isn't here yet, but the present is here, now, and they call a present a gift! treat your life, like it's a gift...

Well 54 days gone wished I'd started about 2 years ago.......ruminating again

56 days and counting

Great going favdoc 56 days and counting.

Suzanne xx

I wished wrote:

Great going favdoc 56 days and counting.

Suzanne xx

thank you Suzanne still do family lottery but no horses internet casinos slot ties quiz

60 days(apart from family lottery) hopefully interview with somebody about my mental probs this week.Family non related to gambling probs continue .oh dear

Well big day Tuesday my ADD assessment.I know this a gamblers site but in a way I have to be grateful thatCG has led me to this point,I would never have suspected I had add.Gambling is probably a mere 3% of all the other symptons I have that led me to this conclusion.Obviously knowing will not cure me and medication may or may not control but I will feel a sense of relief if I am diagnosed.If the result is a negative I don't know how I will feel.But I have come to this conclusion in I think the correct manner.i did not have the theory and then looked for evidence but the exact opposite.i suppose there will be those of you who poo poo this idea.maybe others of us should look if ADD is in their make up.Bye

Oh and it's 64 days

66 days

Hey fav doc,

Well done on 66 days.

Keep strong and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

I wished wrote:

Hey fav doc,

Well done on 66 days.

Keep strong and keep safe

Suzanne xxx

Thank you Suzanne ,ADD assessment tomorrow,not looking for excuses merely answers and not just about gambling

Favdoc

Fella I am glad you are still seeking recovery, that assessment will hopefully open further doors to you ensuring that your compulsive gambling doesn't reap any more damage upon your life.

Keep opening those doors my friend.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.