Feeling very reflective today and wanted to write out some notes about the recovery journey.Â
So the first question I asked myself was about the dream world of a compulsive gambler. Just like it's been said a billion times before, no win would ever be enough for me. I would never have stopped which says to me that there was no end goal or destination that a jackpot win would have surpassed.Â
In recovery why would that make me think there would be a final destination. Each to their own but would I ever say I am "recovered" ? The world record for abstinence is 24 hours which reaffirms my belief that I will always be a compuslvie gambler.Â
Also, in terms of reaching a destination on my journey, I move one day at a time further away from my last bet but the next one stays the same...one bad thought and one by action and I'm back in the fog. I'm only ever half an hour away from a bet so that says to me there is no destination.
If there were a finishing line, that means I stop learning each day. It means I stop working to move forward....I don't want that.
Four months ago I noticed that I was actually enjoying being on my journey. Meeting people, posting, reading, replying, reading replies, online meetings, chatrooms, in person meetings, community. I spent 44 years trying to distance myself from compuslvie gamblers. Now I'm at my happiest surrounded by the same.Â
To me, I 💯 believe in one day at a time and try to live to all lines of just for today so there is no final destination. Just a beautiful life and a beautiful journey or recoveryÂ
Yes in my case not only its one day at a time it also building myself to become a better person someone in my Ga said some people become better people then before they started gambling i couldnt understand what that ment now i completely understand some people also break from other bad habits become better people and for me that means having compassion sometimes u have to experience life to value those things i thank those people that showed me the way i was arrogant and selfish it was always about me i no longer think this way👍
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