First day to end this addiction

Hi LB I have just posted on your diary, thanks for your thanks, encouragement and praise...too kind. Generally I wouldn't entertain opening up to a stranger as I see myself as a bit of an island which is a bit sad I guess I was really nervous but it was like a question/answer session The lady couldn't have been more kind and genuine and I did tell here stuff from my past that I didn't intend to as I thought this didn't relate to gambling but of course everything is relivent and adds up now. I'm not saying it''s for everyone but it felt like someone was reaching out to help me and understand. I know you haven't posted for a while, fair play but if you need to sound off, have a rant of a moan or just want some good old sympathy I'm all ears. Take care of yourself, you're worth it (quote L'OrГ©al lol) seriously take care S 🙂

Day 87....hmmmm am still GF which I'm so glad of and don't want to ever go back. Have had slot of lows lately, waking up early struck with anxiety and worry. But know things would be some much worse if I still gambled and holding onto the fact I have stopped is key, Also checking in everyday, reading diaries and everyones support is the lifeline for me. Hopefully in the not too distant future these lows will be fewer and I will feel happier in mysrlf. Take care and have a peaceful GF evening S x

Thankyou Sharon . You doing so well . Your posts are a delight and give massive encouragement . Loved reading your diary of recovery , ups and downs aplenty yet your sense of humour has always shone through . Even on the days when it was so difficult for you , you have kept your determination and resolve . So.proud of you , its inspiring for me to see you climbing them hills 56 days up ahead .

Glad you found the counselling benefical and you felt relaxed . I really enjoyed my first session on friday also .

Take care....... stephen

Blimey, thank you for such encouraging and flattering comments!! I like to think I'm a 'what you see is what you get' person and it has been such a relief to tip my thoughts out of my head into my diary. I am determined to nail this addiction and be happy again .Glad your counselling was helpful I was doubtful but found it uplifting. Goodnight and take care S 🙂

Warning potentially long, boring post coming up!! So today started with the becoming frequent 5 am feeling anxious and worried session but today I thought I'm not doing this anymore. So saw I had 2 hrs until alarm and made sure I went back to sleep. Made a list of things to do last night and have been working through it including calling the Water company to explain why I had let my account slip and they were really understanding. For the first time in so long I feel like I'm getting somewhere and there is light at the end of the tunnel, I think this is for several reasons 1)most important, not gambling 2)This month, after my bills I give myself a weekly cash allowance 3)The support and encouragement here is invaluable and finally I am starting to believe in myself and have tiny shreds of self worth appearing. So thanks to everyone for their comments and support and here is to another GF week, take care S 🙂

Astronomers are predicting a 90 Day Supernova is rapidly approaching and will be visible tomorrow .

Awesome Sharon getting brighter every day .

Yes!! Can believe I am so close to 100 days, really pleased but don't want to be complacent. But and determined to get there and feel so much happier. Have a super GF day, take care S 🙂

Congratulations Super Duper Sharon . Just looked at your profile page WOW the 90 Days looks so good .

Liked your comment " really pleased but don't want to be complacent " ! Reminded me of the good periods gamble free that suddenly came crashing down around my heels . Only one bet and there we are , back on the merry go round of the miserable gambling addict .

Wishing you a good meet with the counsellor tomorrow .

Your a beautiful star twinkling away in the constellation GamCare .

Hi Stephen, your positivity is amazing! Definitely brightens up the day for alot of us on here. 90 days is a destination I thought I wouldn't reach to be honest but I want to be GF more than anything right now and forever. I'm not without my highs and lows but when things seem hopeless I know that if I was gambling it would be some much worse. Have a great GF day and take care of yourself S 🙂

Day 90...time seems to be effortlessly flicking by unlike in the early days when an hour seemed like an eternity. So good to do 'normal'things like pay bills, do a shop without being tight and looking forward to a minibreak. Still haunted by the losses but that money isn't coming back so to quote a phrase I heard today 'park it up and move on' Forever grateful to this site and everyone here happy GF evening people S 🙂

Hi Sharon :)).

It wasn't my intention to shoot you down in flames as you put it and I apologise if you felt that's what it was about , we all have to do do this in our own way and if it works for you and split then great , all I was trying to get across was that in the nearly two years I've been here it's the general concensus that telling loved ones seems to be the way forward , there's even a thread here somewhere asking if anyones managed to give up long term without the other half knowing and I don't believe as of yet there are any replies ? .

Youv'e done 90 day's so far and should be congratulated on that fact , so whatever your doing is working for you , the only piece of advice I can offer regarding your last post is just to let go of all those losses for good and maybe try and flip things a little ? , If you were ill and the cure for that illness was the same amount as what you'd lost then you'd gladly pay it right ? , so now your cure means you don't gamble anymore , happy day's :))

All the best for now and best wishes

Alan

Hi Alan thanks for posting, no worries...possibly I was being a little over sensitive and I do agree that being 100% out there does seem to work for most people Indeed I know the only to go is forward and the loses are exactly that. I'Lloyd just keep doing what I'm doing and reading diaries etc. Have a good GF day S 🙂

Aaaaaah day 91 life is good 🙂 great to see debt reducingm bills being paid and a brighter future being built. Reading diaries and chatting here is all part of recoverym knowing your not the only onem take care and let's stay GF S:)

Keep it going Sharon, this time next week you will nearly have hit the big century 🙂

Thanks Matt I'm excited about triple figures and feel I have really turned a corner. I have also made sure I keep busy and make productive use of my time. Have a great GF weekend S 🙂