First day to end this addiction

I started on-line gambling after clicking on a pop up whilst using facebook, at first it was fun, my husband was aware and I won some small amounts and always cashed out, then I started gambling nearly every day and told him I thought I had developed a problem, I told him I had stopped but in fact I have not and have carried on and now Im gambling nearly every day and losing every time. I have self excluded from numerous sites and want to stop for good. I am releived I have joined this forum, already have cleared the cache on my computer installed blocking software although I will need to make sure the password is changed by someone other than me so that I dont remember it.

This has been going on for 6 months now. And the levels of loss are increasing. I feel guilty and stressed. I would say that Im on the edge of a serious problem, I find myself glued to the computer but still able to get normal tasks done mostly, however its coming to the crunch now as I think about playing these stupid casino sites from the minute I wake up some days...

The admin here will be able guide you in the right directionm best of luck S

As I gallop up to 100 days ( yeeee-ha) I just want to put this out there. I was sifting through stuff last night and found some old diaries, nowt exciting but I did pinpoint when I started gambling and even though I was in debt life before seemed much more simple. So huge regrets about 5 years overshadowed by this evil habit, financially, emotionally etc So to literally anyone out there who is struggling, is at the start of recovery.....anyone just don't gamble and life will slowly but surely improve.Even if you feel totally hopeless and can'tsee an end or a new beginning as long as you commit to not gambling one day you will turn a corner. So rant over just feel strongly about this, my daughter is has just left school and I have gambled her whole senior school life, which makes me feel like s**t but 100% reason to stay GF have a peaceful and GF Sunday S 🙂

That's a great post Sharon - expressing regret as well as hope - and I think there always is hope. Best wishes, Phil.

Thanks Phil, it'S a right old mixed emotions journey isn't it? I was described as a 'emotionally cold fish' by an ex boyfriend(he was quite a charmer! !) But as unfortunate as these circumstances are recover has taught me do much about mysrlf and feelings and how to handle them. Hope you're having a top notch GF weekend, take care S 🙂

Hi Sharon. Thanks for your support on my diary. You’re closing in on the century, congratulations keep up the good work.

Westsider you are more than welcome and thank you!! Can't believe I've managed this long to be honest but it had definitely restored a smidgen of self belief Take care S 🙂

Thanks for the post. Hope you're having a good sunny Sunday

No probs, too hot for me but not moaning, nice to have some seasonal weather 🙂

Thankyou so much for your post on my diary . You bring a lot of sunshine to the forum with warmth , compassion , tenderness , encouragement and even the occasional ' Yeeeeha ' & ' Woo Hoo ' . Take care Sharon . Will be thinking of you friday night , your daughters prom night will be such a special night for you . Wishing you every happiness stephen x

I feel incredibly humble Stephen, thanks so much for your kind words. Indeed I may be emotional Friday night as despite everything she is a great gal and I'm proud of her. The thought of our futures drives me on even more. Enjoy the rest of this fab GF day, take care S:)

Warning!!! Look away now to avoid reading a big fat moan......so have been feeling quite buoyant until today where as today feel completely hopeless and in a never ending cycle of work, doing all the domestic stuff, worrying, guilt, feeling lonely and knowing tomorrow will be a repeat of this. It's so hard sometimes to look at the bigger picture and know that one day things will be ok again. Part of me thinks I gambled for 5 years will it take another 5 to sort things out? Sorry to ramble but my day has been mainly thinking this. Oh just to add despite all this negative blurb I haven't gambled which is good news! Have a good evening and take care S 🙂

Despite being near triple figures I feel just total despair today, I don't know how I let things get so bad and genuinely don't know what to do. Yet still I will not gamble S

Sharon so sorry you are on a downer and berating yourself for no good reason .

For a compulsive gambler to abstain for 97 days is a massive achievement . On top of that you have worked hard and taken care of your home and family . You have given out so much of yourself to others , including your friends on the forum . Your sense of humour , compassion and understanding is absolutely wonderful . You send out so much love and affection into the world . Please be gentle with yourself , you need to be proud of what you have achieved . stephen x