I have started many diaries. This is a new one why go again, have I a choice? I dont particularly like gambling always chasing the last loss. Why should this be any different. I hate myself and the way I feel. I feel numb from gambling. New day tomorrow write more.
Hi again Micheal,
I was the last person to post on your last diary and ask the below question and I ask the same one today.
Micheal like you say we've been here before. What's going to be different this time? Have blocked the last route you used to gamble?
What can you do different? How do you bet? What blocks have you put in place? How are you getting round them? What support have you got in place?
i know it's a lot of questions and you don't have to answer them but if you do we can look for answers that you desperately want you wouldn't keep coming back if you didn't want beat this
KTF
Hi Oldham, I suppose I am cynical with a lot of posters on here. They come they go everyone reckons they have it. Overtime most fail be it 6 months a year so I think why should I take the advice. My biggest problem is I hear a lot but I barely listen. I really don't think till your 30 days off you actually are detoxed. I have told my wife that's not going to cure me. I think I have to slow down not look for a recovery just stay off gambling keep away from people places and things. Relax enjoy life and let recovery in.
Well day 1 I have a serious pain in my chest from lifting weights last week. I feel a it down today and I suppose anxious about my recovery. Like Oldham said I am going to have change things if I am to make this recovery work. Self exclusion I suppose is the obvious choice I am a bit embarrassed but there are only 5-10 bookies that I regularly use. Going in and self excluding is going to be embarrassing but I suppose I won't be going back once I have done it. Happy Easter everyone
I did not know that but I think I am going to go in and do it. f it I hope I die of embarassment and never go in again
Day 2 complete,chest hurting like hell from the weights. Kept busy today and little thought of gambling. Onwards towards Day 3 tomorrow I don't know if I should say I hope or try or will have a gamble free day tomorrow. Whatever
Day 3 begins lots of urges to begin the day but I don't like myself as a gambler so I am better off without.
Day 3 over not so bad in the end. Abit tired and sore still suppose that brings on urges but staying clear of danger.
Day 4 begins the urges return, Just need to relax and keep busy.
Hanging for a bet today have to realise that this is always the case.
No Urges today was busy with work so that took my mind off things
7 Days today feel a bit better whatever happens
Good effort on the week. Did you manage to self exclude?
No is the answer to that Oldham, but will get round to it this week. Urges are calming down all good.
Hi Michael , just go and do it fella, sure it is a bit embarrasing , I know I felt that way when I self excluded , I too used about 6 or 8 local bookies where I was well known and remember walking in the first one petrified that someone I knew was going to walk in and spot me and ask akward questions but after the first one was done , I walked out of there feeling proud that I'd taken back control , me not them making the decision and by the time I'd been around them all , I was walking tall and proud of what I'd done and a huge weight lifted from my shoulders !.
Give it a go my friend and you might be suprised what it does for you .
All the best .......................Alan
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