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Well hey girl and glad ya got some sun going on by you and beginning to wonder what it even looks like here. Yeah It's been awhile. LOL didn't fire up that grill yet and just got home and relaxing with one of them twisted teas before i jump into all that. Screaming birds are out back so kinda hate to make my way back to the garage right now. LOL

But yeah not a bad day so far. Staying out of the radar anyway has been pretty easy. Well shouldn't say all that cause yeah, that casino was in site yesterday and made more than a few glances that way. Hell that magnetic pull that place has always seems to latch on to my car and just sucks into It's driveway. LOL But yeah escaped it some how and managed my way home. Don't know how I pulled that one off but I did. LOL Lol Lol

Well you keep enjoying that Sun and if ya got to much of that sh-it send it this way.

Hey Sandra

Hope you enjoying sun too it's another addiction of mine along with me voddy and orange lol

My mind feels too strong for my own good at the moment but hey I am going along with it happily cos I know my batteries are fully charged ready for the next

Mood swing and this lady is not for turning

Keep moving on Sandra we can win by keeping our mind focused on abstaining one day at a time Sandra is not for turning either

Suzanne xx

Oh you just know I made it to that garage girl and them chops were grilled. Ain't no screaming bird keeping me from all that. LOL i told them to carry on and don't mind me cause yeah It's way to fun to listen too. LOL Lol Lol well didn't tell them about the listening part of course. All be quite in that nest today so far and hoping it don't last long. Lol

Good day at work for a Monday anyways. No gambling no troubles I guess.

LOL Lol Lol yes duplicates and not from the beers girl.

Thanks for the post Sandra,

Your last post sounds so promising and such fighting spirit. One thing i do love about your character is you know its not a rosy life, its full of blood sweat and shear determination, something i can learn from you. I hope the next few weeks really keep you in the positive mindset.

all the best! your fan CL

LOL awe ///// and the same old same old routine. I'm never getting it right. LOL

Hi Sandra,

As I write this, I'm listening to the Trainspotting soundtrack with Ewan McGregor, "Choose Life".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0K-V8ZWyNMs

We all have different perspectives, but for me I think choosing life is a lot more than just removing gambling. By making that one choice, and continuing to make that choice, we can then go on to make more positive choices. Choosing to look for a better job, to do more of the stuff you want to do, to waste less time on a machine and do more.

As you know, it isn't always that clear cut, but listening to that song has cheered me up a fair bit! It's now moved me on to Missing, by everything but the girl. I never mind a musical tour of the past!

Keep going Sandra, I know you're tough enough to get through the slip and keep pushing forward

Ryan x

Hi Sandra,

you sound really determined and motivated which is great.

As I'm sure you know, it will get easier with time. Even after years you can still go through a tough patch with cravings and urges, but I find they fade out in strength like echoes.

Take care,

f x

Hey girl and how goes it? Off early and 3 day weekend staring me in the face. LOL Yup kicked back with that cold one and life feeling pretty sweet about now. Hope your night in at work goes well and life is treating ya good.

Hi Sis,

How are you? I have been running around here like a chicken with it's head cut off trying to get the house and mom in order before we take off for vacation. I'm around all weekend and will be probably sticking to the site because in spite of everything I still get that occasional itch and find myself coming back to read and to reaffirm why I must NEVER start. Hope your weekend is rolling the way you want it to. Talk soon. (((((S))))) -joanxxx

Hey dear soldiers

All is good here and no gambling..just for today indeed. Gonna take a break from this amazing site and see how things will work out.

wish u all the best on ur journeys. May strength courage and belief never leaves ur side..onwards and upwards

God bless

Sandra

Dear diary...

Well..good to be back on these pages. I might need to keep posting more to stay intact with my recovery. Feel like find my way forward but then seem to lose it again. Tough s... lol..but it is what it is. Life goes on.

This addiction can beat me time and time again - I will be standing back up.

Choosing life..

Day 1

S x

Yo,

Sending you a hug coz I can 🙂

And wanted to say that you sound like you are stepping forward without looking back over your shoulder

If you get my drift , we learn we move on, maybe one day we will get it right but when is right one day , one month , one year , ten twenty

Get it right today and what happens on all our tomorrow's is not worth wasting our energy on or letting what every happened on all our yesterday's well the negative things be what defines us .

Listen to me preaching ...... The church of Shiny lol

Shiny xxxxxxxxxx

Hi Shiny, always come along for rescue lol..thank you preacher 🙂 I'm not a good person, never was and never gonna be. Maybe if I stop fighting back there won't be any more pain here . yesterday I f****d up, today I would of f**k up again..if not work, tomorrow is not here but my mind sees the outcome already.

b*****ks to me and b*****ks to this addiction. I give up.

Peace out and self destruction can do it's job going forward

And that's a fighting spirit of a looser

Yo,

If I was there mssss I would give you a bloody good shake !!!!!!!

Stop , you are NOT a bad person, how do I know that ?

The level of support and empathy you have shown people on this site is well bigger than words

What you have written about over the time I have known you are not the words of a person who is not good

Addiction plays f*****g mind games , it feeds on negativity and low self esteem , it fools us into believing that we need to self medicate to give us a short term fix from what **** our distorted thinking is throwing in buckets at us

It's hard to fight back , it's hard not to give in

But you can do it , you did it before and you most certainly can do it again .where to start ....

In my opinion it's starts by being kind to you ,

Here if you need me

Shiny xxxxxx