...

Nice post and hope you enjoyed your run 🙂

Happy days... S.A 🙂

Hi S,

Yes have read the books but got bored as I got into 3rd book, as it was getting repetitive lol, enjoyed the film version lol, more sutile, and Christian was quite cute lol (watched the uncut version too lol) so looking forward to the next one.

Hope you are enjoying your Sunday and have got rid of the BLUE Ohh HD S,

Hope it has not turned out BLUE again lol.

Sxxxxxxxxxx

Hi Sandra,

So glad to read your last post, seeing the joy in our families is even better than getting joy for ourselves in my view. Great that your father's recovering and that he has a sense of humour about things too. I bet he had a good laugh at your little blue cat, even if it did cause you a headache!

I once left a house with a lime green stain on the beige carpet in the lounge, simply because me and my housemates had tried everything to get rid of it....and everything had failed!

Keep up your good work, and hold that guard tight until gamblock is back doing its work.

Ryan xx

Hi Ya Coo Coo, I see you put your days back up so popping by with a big smiley face for week 1 - your last post suggests that you may not be due this smile til tomorrow but I'm sending it now anyway as I have faith in you my friend 🙂

Keep choosing freedom ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Thanks all

....i have found it..It's here, in front of me - sunrise. It's beautiful, sea is calm and beautiful, peace is present...it's calming 🙂

Got here somehow, but I'm here. Stepping into 50th hour without zzzzzz and still counting but all is ok...just somehow i like it. Not feeling tired, that passed some time yesterday. Feel like i entered new zone...peaceful one..Feeling detached from myself, like there are not traits to my thoughts if that makes sense?..nothing...peace...drifting away which is just calming feeling. Who needs gambling lol.

Dad is worried about my work situ (reminder to myself not to share any work blips or stresses in the future)..that didn't help..he wanted to know the "thruth" ..how i feel..dissapointed myself there yesterday...
Sister worried..telling me to move out already lol..cats are just mental in the mornings and runs all over that "cartoon" house lol...which is louder than drums in ur ear
Mate is worried too...i don't need texts saying get out from work early...i am absolutely fine.
Thinking now (before this drifts off lol)...why others should care if i don't care about myself? Good question...work in progress eh

All is good...no gambling. Even if i have card here with me and god knows what time those places opens - I'm not interested. I'm here for other reasons today.
..gotta admit, have a scratchcard on a passenger seat. Don't ask me where that came from lol..must of got it in a garage filling tank up...will think if to scratch that cover.

Ok..that's me..nice and peaceful..a little in a clouds but i like it lol.

Today is gonna be beautiful day..make the most of it guys..enjoy it!!!
Gambling is the worst disease..it's patient..it will wait all your life...don't let it take over, one day at a time is the way to go.

Laters

Ps. Why morning commuters gets so agitated if i stopped on the road to let 5 ducks cross?? Are they that nasty or in a rush these days?

Bk to the sea..take care all

S x

Hi S,

Don't let the bxxtards get you down, hun, sooo pleased you are not feeding that addiction, but I am trying to read between the lines

and what I am seeing is not all calm waters. Like your job Ohh HD. Bucket and space still on hold S.

Sending you POSIBILITY and plenty of progress, and just say thank you for being you with me.

Sxxxxxxxxx

Hey Coo Coo, come on back to us Honey...I see you've zero'd your counter 🙁

You are work in progress as you know so never stop progressing!

I too am right by your side ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Hi Sandra
Just popped in to say cake and tea 3am Saturday if you are in my treat x
Hope you are being kind to yourself as not one of us is perfect but you are worth it.
Take care
Cheryl xxx

brutus123C wrote: Hi Sandra Just popped in to say cake and tea 3am Saturday if you are in my treat x Hope you are being kind to yourself as not one of us is perfect but you are worth it. Take care Cheryl xxx

That would be great Cheryl

much better than anything to do with gambling isnt' it?

Sandra12 wrote: Thanks all ....i have found it..It's here, in front of me - sunrise. It's beautiful, sea is calm and beautiful, peace is present...it's calming 🙂 Got here somehow, but I'm here. Stepping into 50th hour without zzzzzz and still counting but all is ok...just somehow i like it. Not feeling tired, that passed some time yesterday. Feel like i entered new zone...peaceful one..Feeling detached from myself, like there are not traits to my thoughts if that makes sense?..nothing...peace...drifting away which is just calming feeling. Who needs gambling lol. Dad is worried about my work situ (reminder to myself not to share any work blips or stresses in the future)..that didn't help..he wanted to know the "thruth" ..how i feel..dissapointed myself there yesterday... Sister worried..telling me to move out already lol..cats are just mental in the mornings and runs all over that "cartoon" house lol...which is louder than drums in ur ear Mate is worried too...i don't need texts saying get out from work early...i am absolutely fine. Thinking now (before this drifts off lol)...why others should care if i don't care about myself? Good question...work in progress eh All is good...no gambling. Even if i have card here with me and god knows what time those places opens - I'm not interested. I'm here for other reasons today. ..gotta admit, have a scratchcard on a passenger seat. Don't ask me where that came from lol..must of got it in a garage filling tank up...will think if to scratch that cover. Ok..that's me..nice and peaceful..a little in a clouds but i like it lol. Today is gonna be beautiful day..make the most of it guys..enjoy it!!! Gambling is the worst disease..it's patient..it will wait all your life...don't let it take over, one day at a time is the way to go. Laters Ps. Why morning commuters gets so agitated if i stopped on the road to let 5 ducks cross?? Are they that nasty or in a rush these days? Bk to the sea..take care all S x

Its great that you have the kindness to think about those morning commuters

I love the idea of 5 ducks crossing the road

Yet i know others who would run them over

Keep enjoying the beauty Sandra

Your doing amazingly well

Welcome back coo coo...The site has missed you 🙂

Be thankful that the commuters on the recovery train will shuffle up & help you on board unlike the normal ones eating stinky food, with their mouths open (probably kicked a few ducks on the way to the train) & insisting their bags are more important than I - Aarrgghhhh!

Don't you ever stop fighting ODAAT - Juuuuuune

Hi Sandra,

Thoughts are with you, and hope you're still saving the ducks and looking after what's important in life. Hope all is well with the family, and things are settling down at work too. It ain't easy fighting through, but you, my fellow soldier, are a whole lot tougher than you sometimes give yourself credit for. Keep knocking out those demons.

Ryan xx

Hi Sandra
Glad to see you,
Will eat your bit of cake for you
Take care
Cheryl xxx

Thanks for popping by on my thread little friend, keep fighting and keep progressing and please stay safe.

((((((SANDRA)))))

Sxxxxxxxxx

Thank you dear soldiers for your patience and belief in me xx

Diary,

Day 4. Feels like coming bk from hell but soo know it's not over yet. The battle just about to begin. Wasn't posting much. ..few reasons : been gambling, been drinking, reasoning with myself how further i can take myself to self destruction, .. plus wasn't sure what to put down cause dear moderators are deleting my posts. So just thought if i can't be honest, what's the point of keeping the diary.

So back on the train so to speak..yep Juune ya better shove to the side cause this humongous a** needs a seat 😀 (yep it was me covering the sun this morning lol)

Not sure if any decisions been made for my way forward. Still dealing with destruction i have created and coming to terms of accepting it. Last session of counselling yesterday, i guess i dissapointed her having to come bk to square one in the last two weeks. Was offered rehab but had to weigh my options there and 3 months away from reality is a little too long....plus...work...

still in a daze, sorry guys, will catch up with you soon.
the main thing is i slapped mr G in the face and will continue doing so with God's help. Am here, am alive, am holding that bat to keep defending myself from any urges.

Peace out
Stay strong all

S x