...

" I simply like the buzz, want to fit in, am lazy to make changes, am greedy for money "

Good post there Sandra, but sorry I tend to disagree with that paragraph.

The tiggers doing good and being human

In the form of a football chant -

Tigger is back Hellooo, tigger is back Hellooo

I think you've always got to remember that even Disneys Tigger can be P****d off sometimes.

Also going back to your last post, it implies to me that you tapped at the screen and let something out. I think even in our haze like funk that subconsciously we're joining dots. It's just that we don't realise it.

Hi Sandra

Thanks for your support on my diary t'other day. Sorry you've had a hard time, hope you're feeling better. Although I don't think we've touched base before, I've often kept an eye on your diary. From what I see you are making progress, although I know it's hard to appreciate that when you're in the thick of it.
Best

Louis xx

Thank you all ☺

Dear diary,

I am here, at rock bottom. Not financially, even if finances are quite tight and i need every penny going forward (i did play and lost...dur...i can't stop so why would i start? :-/...i know why, but i am gonna learn from this)

Very tough week. Started with issues at work and ended with sad family news...if i didn't cry, i drank & vice versa. Anything to block my pain. Today i went further and gambled...didn't need drink, food or even a bath (yuk..i know). I haven't slept properly for 5 nights (i did keep passing out after drinking tho but as we know it's not exactly restful sleep).
Today i realised that i am very close to lose my mind/life completely that's why i think this is last straw.
I know this has damaged me and i need proper help to follow the correct steps forward...i cannot fight with me anymore and now more than ever my family needs me to be strong...for me and for them!
I can promise anything i like...i know it's not gonna work until i start making actions. I am most definitely scared, but with fear comes strength i suppose ...

Sandra...pick yourself up and deal with life head on. You are good person, you only make wrong choices and run from yourself too often. No more tears, no more self sabotage, no more stick to beat yourself over with. You can make your life better and believing is not enough!..you're loved and cared for, try and show kindness to yourself...let the light shine again and help yourself before its too late. Step by step, look ahead...just stay strong - you're worth it! (((((Sandra))))))

...aha..yup...now i feel like i lost it...but a little chat for the right reasons was well overdue in my life.

Will not gamble today, i need to lay few bricks in my road towards freedom/peace/ calm

Take care all

S x

Hi S,

Hey, me a dippy blonde remember, you really have nothing to say sorry for to me, (but I may frame it) joke S,

I do know you (a little) lol, I actually do understand that you do keep tormenting yourself, and that you keep hitting that self destructive button be it with drink or gambling, as much as you keep escaping into these harmful addictions, life still carries on, your life is still there, it's not going to go away. it still unfolds whether we switch off or not.

I believe in you dear S always have and always will, my support has and always will be unconditional,

You will see the sunrise, you will find the strength, and I know you will be kind to yourself, because you are sooo very much worth it.

A big hug coming your way (((((SANDRA)))))))

Hey S,

​Thanks for the post, although apologies weren't necessary I appreciate the sentiment behind it. Just because someone doesn't agree with your opinion doesn't mean they don't like you. Took me a long time to learn that one. I certainly for decades took someone disagreeing with my opinion as a personal attack on my character. Today I know differently. When we approach recovery with an open mind and a willingness to consider all opinions & not just listen to our own, then anything is possible x

​

Hey you. Sorry that you're hurting so much. You're probably not going to like what I'm going to say, but I really mean it with the best of intentions and I say it because I care about you and want the best for you....I think you need to reach out for some help. Proper, professional, trained help.You've been trying so hard to work things through on your own, and you've made some big strides, but I'm not sure that you can do this on your own. Your GP could make a referral to see a consultant psychatrist, who could do a full and thorough assessment and would then recommend the best course of treatment. I know that you're not keen but it's really hard to treat yourself and an outside,trained professional would be able to see the full picture and may see things that you are unaware of. I know it's hard and scary, but it's hard and scary where you're at now. You're a young woman with your life ahead of you...taking that step now could you free you up to really live your life rather than harming yourself over and over again. I was scared too, but I did what I'm suggesting to you and it was one of the best decisions of my life. Please at least consider it...write out pros and cons on a piece of paper to help with the process. I know you've had counselling in the past. Even if that wasn't a good experience it doesn't mean it will be the same next time, and I guess I'm suggesting more than just counselling. Any chance that you have private health cover through work? I went through ours and the treatment and therapy I received was excellent.

Please don't feel you have to answer this question, but I just want you to think about what's stopping you from geting help. If it's fear,anxiety,worry then I have to suggest that you're living with those feelings already.It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

LB x

Hi to all

i had a big gambling problem from September last year till January this year

I'm in 15k debts and my wife has left me because I have done this once before and I promised to her I'd stop but I didn't and now she has broke up with me

I'm trying everything in my powers to stop gambling and to show her hoe sorry I am for lieing and hurting her

it's been 12 days now gamble free

I need help

has anyone been in this situation before did u and ur partner get back together

Hi B2K, this is the recovery diary for Sandra, and all Forum members are able to post to support her and each other. I am aware that this is a new post from yourself for you, asking others for support.

I have posted it on the 'New members intro section of the Forum, where you can start your own post and others can reply on your post to support you.

So feel free to keep adding to your post at the 'New mrmbers Into section'. or you can start your own recovery diary if you so wish.

Regards

Florence

Forum Admin.

Sandra12 wrote: Thank you all ☺ Dear diary, I am here, at rock bottom. Not financially, even if finances are quite tight and i need every penny going forward (i did play and lost...dur...i can't stop so why would i start? :-/...i know why, but i am gonna learn from this) Very tough week. Started with issues at work and ended with sad family news...if i didn't cry, i drank & vice versa. Anything to block my pain. Today i went further and gambled...didn't need drink, food or even a bath (yuk..i know). I haven't slept properly for 5 nights (i did keep passing out after drinking tho but as we know it's not exactly restful sleep). Today i realised that i am very close to lose my mind/life completely that's why i think this is last straw. I know this has damaged me and i need proper help to follow the correct steps forward...i cannot fight with me anymore and now more than ever my family needs me to be strong...for me and for them! I can promise anything i like...i know it's not gonna work until i start making actions. I am most definitely scared, but with fear comes strength i suppose ... Sandra...pick yourself up and deal with life head on. You are good person, you only make wrong choices and run from yourself too often. No more tears, no more self sabotage, no more stick to beat yourself over with. You can make your life better and believing is not enough!..you're loved and cared for, try and show kindness to yourself...let the light shine again and help yourself before its too late. Step by step, look ahead...just stay strong - you're worth it! (((((Sandra)))))) ...aha..yup...now i feel like i lost it...but a little chat for the right reasons was well overdue in my life. Will not gamble today, i need to lay few bricks in my road towards freedom/peace/ calm Take care all S x

thnking of you and wishing you all the best

don't forget your not alone in this battle

Take care Tri

Thank you all and hi B2K...welcome to recovery ☺

Great that you have found your way here and tackling this addiction head on...well done on 12 days! As you are aware and am sure read around, you need blocks to stop you from the actions when urges are present..blocking software, self exclusions, counselling (GC offers free 1to1 sessions over 12 weeks if I'm correct),..GA helps loads of people also. You have it in you, you can make your life easier to manage because when we're caught in the gambling fog, we become someone were not..
Be honest with yourself and others around you...it starts from within. Losses has gone, forget them - start afresh and always remember - we cannot win because we cannot stop..better life is out there, go and grab it! You can do it.
I never had OH while dealing with this particular addiction so cannot comment here, but ...remember - only your actions can prove to your loved one that you're 100% committed to the change.

Thank you all again..i am a little exhausted now...been long night and day, but glad i am bk in warm house, getting my slippers on (woof woof lil doggies lol), having a bath shortly and finally...finally...lula byes from me ☺

Take care all..stay safe.
I will surely get bk to you all next I'm awake...that's early Sunday morning lol

Sandra xxx

Glad we're still friends:)

I understand that yesterday was because of the sad news you received. I hope everything is ok.

I'm glad you know that you need to do a bit more. Please don't leave it too long. The constant ups and downs aren't good for you. I've heard the EMDR is very effective...when I was in, one of the consultants used to prescribe it.

Sleep well.

LB x

Forum admin wrote:

Hi B2K, this is the recovery diary for Sandra, and all Forum members are able to post to support her and each other. I am aware that this is a new post from yourself for you, asking others for support.

I have posted it on the 'New members intro section of the Forum, where you can start your own post and others can reply on your post to support you.

So feel free to keep adding to your post at the 'New mrmbers Into section'. or you can start your own recovery diary if you so wish.

Regards

Florence

Forum Admin.

o sorry I didn't no I'm new here not sure how to post in new sections I thought it was for everyone to use

how do I start my own

Hi B2K,

If you scroll down to the left bottom corner of diary section you will see an icon " new topic", where you can start your own personal diary ☺. I wish you well on your journey ahead.

Dear Florence (moderation team) it's good to see you guiding new members to the right direction on here. Also good to see familiar "face" on this diary. Thank you for all your support in the past ☺ have a good day all.

Thank you all for your support and have a safe, calm, peaceful Sunday.

S x

Hi S, thsnks for your message:))) your support as always since my day 1 has helped me more then you know, even when you are down yourself and dealing with hard stuff, you have always bounced back and kept sending me your support on here and off here.

I take it we are friends again, now :))) lol,

Have a strong and safe day, feel quite sad to see 2 long time posters on here slip, it just proves time and time again, how horrible this addiction is.

Take care

Sxxxxxxxx