Someone just posted something on our GA facebook page. It made me think of you.
Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. Buddha
​
Hey you. You deserve it soo much too, great support from everyone above, sending mine too little friend,
KOKO no matter what it takes,
(((((((SANDRA))))))
Sxxxxxxxx
The proof is in the pudding Sandra and YOU are on the threshold of getting the ingredients.
A golden rule I heard once is if your told the same thing by at least 3 different people who care. It's then time to listen.
We/ you can't do it alone....
Rinnnnnnnnnng Rinnnnnnnnnng.
Is that the alarm bell I can hear. Time to get up after the slumber
Morning V вє
Thanks all for your kind suggestions/ advices, i did consider them all but am really not ready to wonder outside to white coats and open my heart again...just yet...it needs healing but i still believe (arrogance) that i have it within so i shall keep patching it up and just maybe i will succeed one day...that's not to say I'm chucking your good wishes back in the face...ohhhh no...i know you're all right - i just like it the hard way and that won't change..i am wrong but i accept that.
Sooo...back to last week's events & i guess i know what took the wind out of me...my move to 3D danger zone! :-0..o*g i wouldn't think i could do that, but as an addict, i know i can go the lengths to get my fix! Money...hmmm..spend 20 quid so that's not the end of the world to me. The end of the world felt my newfound move to the casino :-(..nahh..didn't like it & seen how big difference it is to gamble "live" and on line! Wow! I didn't want my cash to dissappear to be honest..when I'm online, i don't see cash..just my bank card details and here we go - deposit,deposit, deposit..ya get my drift!
Ok..i am still clean from my lil fiasco but i know that danger is close by. Do want to go to the beach but that was my intention last week and look how it ended :-/
Family. Getting there. Mummy is on the mend and back to the land of living...she likes it or not, we need her here and will do anything in our power to provide her with care, love, sympathy and understanding. Not her fault having the illness and as we know, mental illness is nothing to mess about with...
Sooo..not much to report. Finally weekend off and was kinda looking forward to it...until i got here lol..not sure why i react like that! Work - hate it, days off - hate it :-/..
Need to go bk on the road..ohhhh..SA you gonna slap me round this mug for not keeping the running up. I dont think i went for a good lungs breather this year yet & i know i need to get bk on the road!
A little balanced out recently. Had a good drive the other day. Love driving when motorway is empty...even if all flashing lights "disco" is bk on the dashboard screen i enjoyed my little need for speed trip lol. Sesuo as always proved me right and planted a smile on this mug..thanks ya! вє
That's me! I know it's just one of the days where i feel a little at peace..tommorow is another day and i know myself - getting back to the living is not gonna happen overnight..
Bobbing & weaving - all i can do for now!
Laters amigos and keep winning the good fight!
Ps...special thanks to all who keeps the faith in this soul. I owe you my life.
Pps. Rach, i truly hope i made yoir day just now ;-)...i am talkiiinnnngggggggggg xxx
S x
Tune of the day for me 🙂
Glad to see you back here:)
Keep safe.
Mrs. Liberty x
Thanks gal вє
Dear diary,
Well...weekend nearly over and feel a little drained out physically & mentally.. not much sleep, too much Netflix, a little pathetic run yesterday (4 miles, 38min! Yay), plenty of drink, heart is having a little protest now and again (shakes :-/...which leads me to tk deep breaths and i don't usually need them) and this morning i couldn't get out of bed! :-0..something wrong and shoulders felt like dragging me back with big unexplainable force i never experienced before..tingling body and not much feeling 🙁
But...rang parents, had healthy fry up!, a glass of milk and sorted the hair out (annoying to get them under control even if hairdresser had a time of her life being given a permission to cut half of them last week 🙁 ).
So that's me...ohhh...hmmm..i did have a little slip also :-(..but soon excluded, talked to the advisor and was given plenty of support to get this "problem" under control. Cannot point out what driven me there, but i guess frustration about upcoming work, not doing much on my days off, sulking about time lost and not seeing lil man and boredom today was something to do with it. However, not dwelling on 15 pound loss..certainly didn't go there to win...so am being kind to myself and not beating myself up!
Lil mans bday next week! 11 yr old huh!!!! Awesome growing gentleman he is вє..still not sure what to get him ...but as Sesuo suggested i can always take him out for pizza or bowling for the occasion вє
That's me...not much to report..it's like seesaw...still finding that middle so i can stay balanced.
Fight against mr A continuing! I lost one to mr G so there won't b double bubble tonite! Back to glass of milk :-)))))))
Thanks diary, good to talk as always
Tune of the day coming shortly вє
Hi, Sandra,
I thought you'd disappeared but am really glad to see that you're still here. At the risk of sounding trite, take care of yourself? Try?
CW
Aweee CW...thank you, i am looking after myself to my best ability вє..
Diary,
Not much to report & i seem to forget my daily tune yesterday 🙁
Since I'm not mature yet and keep throwing those dummies outta the pram, i seem to accept my imperfections (ohhhh...dating site lol..might check it out 😀 ) & will keep following my beliefs.
Aha, just thought..people say this site is like concentration camp, sometimes it can feel like it, but i think it's more less kindergarten from my point of view..which is not wrong, we are all kids deep inside just some decisions require "grown up" actions...
That will come for me also...tipu tapu i guess вє
Ok...the ones who has sense of humour (mine is Eastern European so apologies) but i heard we have a big bad wolf amongst us 😀 😀 ...with the heart of the sheep i guess..
Keep rocking!
******* WARNING *******
- not for faint hearted souls
Duck Sauce - "the big bad wolf "
Stay safe all
S x
Tipu tapu slowly out of the shadows
Good to see you back, little friend, but hey I luv all your music usually, but this last one sounds more repetitive than online slots, Ohh lol,
Proud of you for continuing your dear diary, Infact proud of you anyway :))))
Sxxxxxx
Lol lol coo coo, Beethoven, just up my street ohh lol, hey I wished about the oyster bit, you better be wishing it too lol, because you are soo much worth it.:)
Have missed you on here, 🙂 one question S, why are you nameless now, can I suggest a name, (Simply Sandra),
Did I say lol, proud of you for not giving up on giving up, yes I did, but I am repeating it, without getting repetivive ohh lol, keep trekking, slowly but surely is the way to a saner life.
Sxxxxx
,
Sos S, I just posted back to you on my own diary, dippy me as usual, :)))
Feel totally shattered tonight, to be honest, early night in my warm bed is on the cards after Eastenders lol,
Take care Hun and keep safe.
Sxxxx
Hey you...no sorry's over here needed, have a good chillaxing eve вє
Diary...
After i posted my post earlier today i made a (now daily phone call bk home). .this actually brought me bk to reality cause i put myself in someone else's shoes.
She lost the will for life again :-(..she told me some tough stuff for my ears to listen, but i said something what i keep repeating to myself most of the days (but fail to listen)
" ride the storm out, soon be more sunnier days, spring is round the corner, this feeling will pass, keep pushing...you're absolutely cared for and loved person"...the response was lovely to hear "thank you for keeping the faith and making me feel better".
Sometimes words fails us and the only time we listen & take in what we say is when we tell the things to most important ppl in our lives.
On a more positive/crazy note - just spend 10 min near the car trying to open it and getting frustrated cause immobiliser doesn't work! ...result & note for myself - look few rows over!! You're not the only person having blue lil golf in this world 😀
Back to kindergarten...no gambling..just yo- yo emotions which are deffo self inflicted.
Peace out
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