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https://youtu.be/vaAVByGaON0

Aww, S

It sucks feeling isolated. I have found that once you know a few people, your social circles sort of naturally expand. Definitely better to have quality over quantity. I think like-minded people are less likely to trigger you in anger or fear.

Maybe at first, it's a case of just being around more people in real life. Yoga/exercise classes, recovery meetings anything, really. I found this helped me rebuild my confidence a little, getting used to a bit of small talk again.

When are your counselling sessions starting back?

f x

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Hey, S 🙂

A little flirtation is nice. Gives you those good brain chemicals.

I think face-to-face will be really healing for you. From the limited amount I know about the subject, the shame is so debilitating. You can go logical and understand intellectually that you have nothing to feel ashamed about but still the irrational shame comes. I believe speaking about the shame you feel, in a supportive environment, is a great step.

I have just finished reading a book written by an american professor about shame. She interviewed thousands of people and found the most resilient people did 4 things. They spoke to trusted people about what they felt ashamed about, they showed empathy and compassion to others when they shared their shame and they received it back (I guess this is why fellowships like GA are so successful?), they knew and understood their triggers (so they felt kindness to themselves when they over-reacted to things because they understood it was normal and natural to be triggered and feel strong emotion as a result), finally, they could critically evaluate their own beliefs and attitudes/expectations of themselves. This means, for example "is it rational and reasonable to feel ashamed because at age 45 I do not look like this airbrushed, 20 year old model in the magazine?"

Anyway, really interesting, enlightening stuff. I wanted you to know that according to a world-leading shame researcher, face-to-face counselling should massively help (although will possibly be really hard at first).

So excited to see these positive things happening in your life.

f x

Hi S&B thank you for posting on my diary, I really appreciate your support. If all goes to plan I will never need to change my thread again. It puzzles me why the gambling is so clingy. I stopped drinking alcohol in 1990 than stopped smoking in 2001 so I am surprised that I have struggled with gambling so much.

Really pleased your starting the new year in a positive fashion. Good you enjoy the counselling. I found it beneficial and it has helped me in my recovery, which has suffered a setback, but i'm still determined not to gamble.

Be cautious with workplace romances. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't but "Love is a many splendoured thing." Wow that song is a blast from the past. Age differences don't always mean a lot when 2 people are in love. I dated a girl who was only 17, mind you it was 50 years ago.

Glad lil babe is ok and not still having the sharp pains. She will keep you on your toes I imagine with walks here and there.

Take care...stephen x

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Hi... its a strange addiction isn't it.

One day ya feel a million milkes away from gambling and the next day ya don't.

Ride out the storm. Your doing so well !

Youl feel different tomorrow.

Hugs ((( ))))

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Thanks for your recent messages. It's really kind of you to take time out for others.
Pop over to my diary to see the results of your labour!
Urges are hard to deal with. Stay strong, you're doing so well.
Give li'l girl a scratch behind her ear from me!
Take care x