...

Sandra, see this as a blessing. The opportunity to deeply rest, that you haven't been able to grant yourself. It's a good thing your hand was forced and I believe you will go back stronger and recharged, ready to help much more, with a clear head and your full health xx

Sorry you are not feeling too good Sandra.

You are in my thoughts and I send you wishes for good health, contentment and happy days.

Love also to Bella, your delightful four legged friend. Dogs are faithful and give their owners plenty of affection whilst asking in return for just nourishment, shelter and an occasional walk.

Best wishes

Stephen x 

Hi, thanks SA, Freda and Stephen..hope you all keeping safe & well

I don't know how i feel if im honest. Tried to do online survey yesterday on 111 re my symptoms and message popped up to call 999 for ambulance immediately. I guess cause of shortness of breath...however it subsided...

..and i shall not waste such important services..other people needs them more now.

Today im better. Cough & sorts. Not sure what is normal any more.

Thankfully my place at work has been quickly filled in as the message went out for staff (i can see it if it was taken...)...good at least for that.

Self isolation means not leaving the house at all. I am partially used to that (only gym)...i never socialised and quite fairly kept my social distance from people. Something what i am anyways.

Today i just drew curtains closed. Just don't want to see outside at all. This is new to me but again, maybe im a bit struggling mentally too....recent events given.

I do have urges today. Quite strong and a email just came in with an offer. My main bank cards blocked but one CC is accessible..as well as laptop has no safety features.

Would be a great shame if i made that wrong choice.....great shame.

I dunno.....i shall think about it.

Lil girl continues to provide huge love and support. Held her in my arms again last night...gives me comfort. I love her so so much..

Stay safe all, stay safe

S&B xx

Sandra

simply popped by to say please take care of yourself my dear friend.

just for today 

Duncs 

Hi SB28

Sorry you're ill. We can only echo forum members' advice to rest and seek medical advice if you need it. It's understandable that you are feeling gambling urges in this stressful time. We'd like to remind you of our resources on blocking software for your laptop:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/self-help/blocking-software/

Keep looking after yourself,

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Hiya 🙂

I relate to when you said....

"..and i shall not waste such important services..other people needs them more now."

I can imagine being exactly the same. I won't be calling 111 or 999 unless am literally at deaths door. Lots of people are the same, including the elderly. Iv'e had people shout at me because iv'e called 999 to have them checked out. It nearly got me sacked the other day because I followed the little old ladies wishes and didn't call 999 and it turned out she had a broken hip. At work its about covering your back, at home its a different story.

I remember when I nearly nearly accidentally cut my fingers off when breaking an old mop in half. Am standing there with all this blood everywhere wandering whether its serious enough to ask for help lol

I guess the bottom line for your situation is that if you are struggling to breath, then its serious and you need to get help.

O and don't gamble... we don't do self-destruct anymore.

Sending you a socially distanced hug ((( ))) and an elbow bump and a wave and a smile 🙂

SA ..aknowledged ...thank you. Sorry my posts were edited to you...i meant well..

Diary...

Oh..sorry...Deirdre, thank you..appreciate that...

Diary,

Just a song...close to my heart.

https://youtu.be/fqzhtvLWefA

If admins allows...

Hi Sandra hope you are feeling a bit better today and Bella is ok.

Sending you my best wishes

Stephen x 

Hello diary,

See a post still pending. Didn't realise i posted it...

Thank you Stephen for your post..keep looking after yourself xx

Diary,

Umm..same day as yesterday. Cough and all that. Did nothing all day to be fair but the time flies...still.

Appreciating lil girl's company. More than ever now! We play so much and i suppose she keeps me excersiced in a way. I did take her for a walk earlier on...

Ummm...still many urges but as long as i dont fire laptop i may be just fine. Trying to reason with myself as well as keep myself alerted of the dangers im facing..

Still no reply from communications manager....am waiting. Its been raised but god knows where the escalation goes (if it even does)after my initial request.

Take care all, stay safe

S&B xx

Hi diary,

This has started to take the effect on my MH. Have no routine and wake up every day with a thought " so what can i do today?..roam around rooms ..like yesterday..do a bit cleaning and washing.". My girl is also confused as i save her precious walkies for later in the day. She is usually ready for them after i finish my first cup of coffee.. i had 3 so far and she just retired to her room knowing that walkies are not gonna happen just yet.

Sigh. This is difficult. Bills gone from acc as normal and im extremely short this month and still got over 2 weeks to go till payday. Will be a struggle.

Mum has been discharged as they're making psychiatric hospital into the hospital for patients with Covid. 

Now she is exposed to the bug as she is quite fragile and poorly. Thankfully dad was forced to self isolate due to the dangerous age group and i told him to stay inside..protect himself & mum.

Ummm..surreal times really. I still have sniffles and cough but chest is a lot better. Thinking now if it was triggered following very stressful encounter a day before i gone off to self isolate. Colleague did say that stress can effect us in many shapes and forms and physical pain is not an exception...the power of the mind huh..

My body hurts tho. Every muscle. Not sure why as i didnt do anything out of ordinary..same press ups, pull ups, sit ups..daily routine really.

Hmm..counted tiles in the kitchen yesterday...190 on the floor and 300 on the walls. .lol...whatever next indeed! Need to find weights to occupy myself more. Been two weeks of no gym..?

Staying clean and not gambling however each day proves to be more difficult. Urges are big but i somehow continue to fight them and find the balance in my thought process. Dont want to ruin something ...possibly good for me in a long haul.

Please please everyone...follow the guidance provided..this is no time for dates or visiting members of the family. Please take this seriously - this disease will kill and will not blink twice!

That's it. My two pence worth for the day.

Lonely but something not so new to me..yet, a buddy to talk to would be nice...but, hay ho.

Stay safe, stay in - save lives ❤

S&B xx

Hiya 

I relate to the roaming from room to room. I guess the thing is to get into a hypnotic trance whilst doing it 🙂

It crosses my mind that people are either mega busy and stressed, cos they are key workers or sitting at home getting bored stupid. We don't seem to have any balance in life anymore. Everything is upside down and back to front.

Anyway am off to count my tiles.

Glad your feeling a bit better

S.A x

Hello SB28 and those following your diary,

It is a difficult time at the moment, with social restrictions in place. Here are some resources you may find useful to help you manage your mental health and wellbeing:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-51873799 
www.hectorshouse.org.uk/2020/03/14/self-isolation-and-mental-health 
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing 
www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/support-and-information/if-youre-having-difficult-time/if-youre-worried-about-your-mental-health-during-coronavirus-outbreak 
www.verywellmind.com/managing-coronavirus-anxiety-4798909

Best wishes

Deirdre
Forum Admin

Thanks Deirdre...more to the above - 'Shout' organisation is pretty good to reach out also. Text message service but really helpful for people in crisis or having anxiety.

Diary,

This global emergency does bring the best and the worst out of people. And that is ok because this is the time for reflection and self inventory..now, the world has slowed down almost to the standstill.

Just how much we rely on money and outside services?. I think now all comes to the head, what is really important and what not so. 

Opportunities for families to come together and, i believe in most cases, become stronger as a unit. Of course, a lot of lessons also follows and possibly changes and decisions will go ahead as a result if learning about each other more.. Gratitude for what we have and an opportunity to grow, understand ourselves better, evolve in a way.

When all the "extras" of comfort of hairdressers, drive throughs, gyms, salons are taken away, all we are left to do is to improvise. Accept such changes, adapt to them, change what we can and live alongside new found values. That is it. Values.

I wonder how many of us appreciated fresh air and stroll in the outsode before this pandemic? I personally, appreaciate such escape a lot more now. Take the nature in, breathe the air..somehow a lot more fresher too...(pollution is real thing).

There are so many gratitudes. Family, friends, pets, comfort of safe place at home.

There are a lot more silent prayers for the others...even people you do not know. That silent next door neighbour...people who may of hurt you in the past, ..everyone.

When we are forced to live in this uncertainty. Breathe in fear because its all over the place now. Fear of this invisible enemy who is real.

Some of us are facing really big challenges going head to head with this invisible enemy, more working hours, more exhaustion and risk...but ultimately we all, as the whole nation are playing very important part by doing what we are asked to do and preventing the spread. The world has distanced us in order for us to come together, stand as one and fight against this disease. ..dont know if any of your hearts strings been pulled by the claps of unity and appreciation for our NHS...i know mine brought few things for me to consider and appreciate for sure.

I could go on and on about all this...but we all know where we are at emotionally, physically and soulfuly.

Not much about gambling....tell ya what, i believe not many of us does want to gamble in this present time. ...the time where more important things came to the forefront. I truly believe so and hope that this global emergency will bring more humanity back...after all this is over, we may remember what truly matters and start getting our priorities right...as our gambling problem shall still remain a problem, we shall not see it as an option in difficult times anymore.

Blessings, stay safe.

S&B xx

Hi SB, yes thru this time we appreciate the simple things like liberty \ freedom, fresh air, walks, nature, and care less for needless services such as bookies, casinos and pubs.  I feel that after this is over people will have dramatically changed their wants, needs and beliefs.  All the best adam

Hey San,

Just want to say, I do "get it". Probably could have done more to outline how carefully my one, non-essential act was done. No unnecessary car journey - I get that at the moment, every unnecessary car on the road is a potential car accident. I walk miles to work, to make bus driver and passengers feel safer. One less person breathing the air with them. if I'm exhausted and do get the bus, I pay my card and wear my mask. I offer my own hand sanitiser to my customers who have had to use pinpad to pay. I'm grateful they haven't handed me any filthy banknotes. I really get it. However, I am around people at work, all day long, not respecting my 2 metres. Just as a matter of course. They do not get it. Handing me money that has just been in their mouth. I politely refuse it, supervisors come over and say I can't refuse it. I say, this is my bottom line, you will have to fire me.