...

Thank you Stu x

Diary,

Tuesday, day off and i feel very tired. Insomnia getting worse recently. Back to work tommorow and feel like didn't have days off at all. Old good ticker reminded me of it's present again last night. Not sure why i get those attacks.

Maybe it's time to head round doctors. I need a good rest, i need to sleep, maybe sleeping tablets would help. ( Yuk...hate tablets )

Need a change.

A week till Xmas, now i want time yo stop, it's coming round too quick, i don't feel ready for festive day yet.

No gambling at this minute. I do have urges already. Long day ahead,if God would grand me dome rest, i am more than happy to spend my day in bed.will see.

S x

Sandra

Maybe it is time to pick up the phone and go see your GP, it is another gift of recovery, the ability to look after yourself.

Something whilst gambling we were incapable of.

Look after yourself my friend.

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thank you Duncs x

Yes you are right, i am 28 and a half and shouldn't experience all this just yet. Not sure where i went wrong. I do need to put myself first. I need to stop smoking. One of the work colleagues was smoking like chimney and 2 days ago collapsed having a heart seizure. Taken to the hospital straight on the operating table - blood clot in heart.

Makes you think how human being can constantly be presing self destruction button with vices like this.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Obviously excitement or stress don't do me any favours. At least don't need to experience the buzz on slots lol...my heart wouldn't handle it...

Ok, i needed to keep writing couse feel a bit lost today. Cleaning done, washing done, dinner cooked....what else i can do? Gonna try to go for a run..god help me..

Jeez...my life is so boring it's unreal. I feel like 100 years old, nothing interests me. I don't want to go out..maybe it's just the bunch around me...but why would i want to go out..competition who looks the best lol,.get P*****, or drugs,..or even worse to wake up in somebody's bed. What is wrong with people? Why they don't value each other for the person they are? Why money and being " cool " has to rule? I am not made for this s**t. What am i made for?..

...Yes, i know...work work work, please others, keep blaming urself for everything and ignore 3 d life...YAY..couldn't ask for better life!!

Great, urges passed, now can go carry on with my daily lovely routine of sitting at home...maybe mk a call to doctors too...

Day at a time

S x

Yo,

Get the bored thing .

My life gone from 100 miles an hour to Zero .

Is it appropriate to say zero on a gambling site who knows ??????????

At times I do think , s***t do I need company , something to do ?...But ultimately for me and please note I am not saying this applies to you . But just saying how it's for me .

I am slowly very slowly learning to live a different life .

I know our circumstances are some what different .

I know that I need to fill the gaps so gambling does not squeeze its way in to fill that void . Not sure how to do that , so maybe in that respect we are the same .

There is an answer out there somewhere , for that I am sure , just bloody well have to find it .

Take care Hun we will get there, believe and anything is possible 🙂

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxx

Thank you Julie, Shiny,

Your thoughts are greatly appreciated and i took every word on board.:-)

Dear diary,

Not too good day today, but not bad either. Bloody urges did my headin for all day, but i decide to go for a ride and spend that £20 on a petrol instead of feeding bloody machines.

All good now, a bit wound up ..but will be ok...

Day 78.

No gambling

S x

Hey Sandra..

Leave the cynicism to this Ol Has Been as life is for the young and the living...

You will find your natural balance as more of the the stuff suppressed comes out but that takes time and the pendulum has to swing the other way for a while..

I still can't manage a day without a rant about something so you can see how much stuff I've been keeping in for years to people please.

No washing machine prize..lol ...I haven't managed a day yet never mind 30!!!

Will have to start counting..

Get some sleep Misses !

Xxxxx

Morning sandra.

Many thanks for posting on my diary, one of the most boring on this site!!!

Wishing you well,

Stay strong,

gazza

Hello all. Thank you Julie, Rachel and Gazza!! Xxx

Dear diary,

Thoughts about rest and sleep today. Since i start this job i hardly sleep at at. It's like i had 7 hrs sleep tonight, the fact is the next 7 hrs ( if i'm lucky ) is in three days time. It is very tiring, i forgot that sweet feeling drifting into drean world...it is more one minute i'm here, the next i'm out, couse my body shuts brains off.

I know all this don't help for the wellbeing. As my mummy always says - sleep is most important factor for feeling good inside out.

Anyway, no gambling. All good, had my little session posting last night...better than looking at the ceiling for an hour lol

Take care all

Thank you so much for the support

Sandra x

Hey Ms S ...

I hear ya...my lodger is back for lunch soon and folks have said the same as you this morning at the transport cafe...I promise I will go straight there if I show any signs...

Xxx

Thank you for caring Hun xx ((((S))))

Good girl darling, health comes first..ALWAYS 🙂

Rest up pls xx

Dear diary,

Very stressful day today. Blowed the lid already, and everyone seems to get on my nerves. Not sure if i am able to manage it all...really doubt with my role..but once again..i am chucked in it for the bussiest time of the year + got person to train..

Aghrrr...give me f****g slot machine lol...i would happily chuck it to the wall !!!!

Ok..breath in and out...lets navigate through today...tomorrow has to be better one 😉

Day at a time

No gambling - No problem!!

S x

No gambling ..no problem !

Wise words lady ....Sandra I think your great ..don't ever change Hun...unless you want to of course. You have spirit and fun and I love that.

Your "too f****king right ..your not going into work " post to me almost comes close to the M6 one....ROFL .

I am now physically laughing out loud.

Don't EVER loose your spirit Hun to those soul less machines ..,..you are one in a million.

Sandra's Mantra...are you ready???..make me a promise now.. :-)))

" If in slot doubt ..Get on Rachie''s diary and SHOUT" YAY!! ..that's the law!!!

Xx

Still alive ..

Ok Boss...Saturday night also a no show :-))

Kick a** S rocks xxx

Morning Sandra

Stress stress! Why can't work and life sometimes be a bit easier, feel for ya as feel how u do at the moment and its not nice, keep fighting though and that's one great quality u av it will get u through the tough days take a step back on the stressful days and take deep breaths and think mind over matter

Nice title change and very simple wise words

Castle2

Arrr...thank you all my guardian angels xxx i am very blessed to find such a lovely souls here 🙂

Dear diary,

Not too good day in a office today 🙁 ...but good news is, it's over!!! :-)..Bad news...the same later on tonight lol..

A lot of " misscomunication" happened which led to few f*** ups.....it wasn't entirely my fault...but got to blame someone?...i half expected manager from other department to wait for me after work with knife round the corner lol...nah..just my imagination, it is not such as bad place lol ( but he was really upset with me today ) ...oh well..can't please everyone ..

My cold moving down to my throat now. Coughing for my life, but don't refuse d**n f*g... It's been two weeks and i can't shake it off...besides..on my never ending "health problems" list i think i might need to add a visit to Specsavers to check my vision out...d**n...it was either full moon shining in my eyes or lorries coming head on..but could see nothing on a way home...so blured..yep..all i need is glasses ( my luck, the fish tank ones will suit me the best)..maybe just tired...

Hey ho...some lime blossom with honey before sleeps and hopefully feel better tomorrow...

Day xx and stays this way lol ( lost counting, did too much maths in my head tonight lol )

Take care all

Day at a time

S x

Hey S..

I'm still alive :-)))

Hope you are in the land of nod zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Xx