...

ok...diary...day 87....am alive and kicking...nevermind little headache.

S x

Just written you a repost S ...where's your name gone?

Are you like Prince now...just a symbol ?? Lol

Come back Ms PJ girl or is it a onesie!

Good Morning Wee Pal,

It sounds like Christmas was a time of over indulgence for both of us- I started Christmas eve lol. Anyhow, only 2 more nights out then a wee "day off" before New Year! (oh my poor liver!).

PJ day- bliss!!!

Take care

Irene

x

Hi Sis,

I am torn about what to say here because I don't want to insult you in any way or add further injury. You know that would never be my intention. If you could just let us know that you are ok and just needing a little space? I get that. A person cannot be expected to sustain the level of support you have been offering others over the last several months. Anyway, from personal experience I say this next piece. It's not good to isolate pal. Stay in touch. If only to write two words: "I'm ok". Thinking about you today and hoping that you are finding the peace you so deserve. Hugs buddy! (((((((((( Sandra )))))))))) -joanxxxxx

I'm ok xx

Glad to hear it pal. -joanxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ;0)

Me too....xxx

Ok diary,

Didn't gamble, but broke my own rules with outbursts. All i am ashamed of is my mate witnessing it all.

Last time i felt this way was 16 years ago. I suppose drink and time of the year didn't help.

Let me recoup and lick my wounds and i will b back soon enough. You are all in my thoughts xx

Day at a time

Stand up and f*****g fight 🙂

What outbursts ? My exes parents witness all mine,,plus all my enemies and all in work possibly including my boss ..lol,xx

Drink gets the better of many of us from time to time, I think the type of personalities that get caught in the gambling trap can also get hit by drink.

Hell knows I've embarrassed myself more than anyone I know from time to time. If you ever saw a guy with a guitar running down the Mile End Road in a t-shirt, boxer shorts and dr marten boots...well, I can only apologise. I guess we can only deal with these events in the same way as we can deal with gambling failures. Chin up, laugh it off as best you can, and get back to daily life.

Christmas period always brings out the extremes too, in a small team of 12 people at work, we had one girl puking on the dance floor at one of the Christmas parties, one dumping her boyfriend and one who is at such a low ebb with her relationship with her mother in law that she got an empty cardboard box for Christmas.

Hope you're okay Sandra, hope the PJ day did its job and you're ready to get back on those two feet and fight on.

All the best

Ryan

Lol...that was funny Ryan 😉

Oh if it was silly things as that...hmmm...i'm afraid my life goes on very tiny tread now and again...but i might still be flat out but indeed hands are in defensive position lol lol

Even i can't knock myself out on very low days..

Here is for another g free day...Sandra rising from the dead

Xx

Grrrrr just wrote a big long message and it disappeared into the ether.

So good to see your name back in print as I wasn't even sure how to type your last user name.

Please don't beat yourself up about kicking off as we have all been there, just hope you have recovered from the physical effects , not a good feeling.

Can't sleep as mind gets stimulated when I read the diaries and can spend half the night googling for further information but keeps me off the streets I suppose, literally at the moment as can't get off the boat cos of the floods.

Take care and hope life looks a little more sunny tomorrow for you.

xxx

Hi Sandra... my life goes literally on very tiny tread, cos my back tyre has next to none. Also after trying to adjust the rear break blocks they now don't touch the wheel... not so good when going down hill lol

On a serious note. Am glad your ok. part of me wishes that I had the ability to have outbursts. In reality when I get angry I lose the ability to speak. I just go red and pace about a lot. Its frustrating.

Pj days are a good thing. Take care... S.A 🙂

Thank you all so much xxx

Dear diary,

Day 89. Coming back to normality quicker than i thought. Thank you god. Some bad recent days, but it's ok. All i can do is learn about reality of my life and others around me...

Irene, darling, thank you so much for offering support, and always being there through good and bad outside these walls xx

I did comment on Castle's tread this morning about scratchcards. I can put it here too - yes, i did buy couple in the period of my recovery. They never been a trigger and just ended where it started. The thing is, was it still playing with a fire if it was a big win?? I am not sure about that... i can keep telling myself i would help parents, sister, support poor ...but would my gambling head take over? I need to consider my situation deeper.

I was given tablet for Xmas..i am trusted..i can't trust myself yet, i just don't use it.... it is open road to self destruction if i make that one wrong choice. I will not, today i trust myself - day at a time tho.

Still find it hard to write stuff on my diary, but no problem whatsover to support others..love it, and thank you all for accepting it 🙂

Take care all

Sandra x