Going to keep this thread now!

Hi Freda,

I completely understand your predicament. I was the same about self-excluding, the possible embarassment in walking into a gambling establishment and doing it.

But trust me, it really is the way forward. You obviously want to STOP.

Once you self-exclude from one of them, you will find it very easy to do the others.

And whilst you are at it, why not self-exclude yourself from your local bookies as well? It's brilliant that you have this fear of being found out as this really would STOP you from entering any of these awful places.

Just ask yourself these questions?

Do you really want to lose another £500 at least in the next few months?

What would you do with the £500 or more that you WILL save?

All the best and I look forward to hearing about your first POSITIVE self-excluding experience. You will leave the building with your head held up high!

GT

Hi Freda.. the actual process of self-exclusion is dead easy. You just walk in with your passport sized photo and go up to someone who looks like they work there and say you want to exclude. The exclusion thing has now been around for a while so they should know what they are required to do. Its a short form, sign at the bottom, they attach photo.. done! They will probably say they will exclude you for 6 months but you are in your rights to demand 5 years or a life time.

Am much the same pesonality as you. I would never go into somewhere i was banned from unless drunk. When drunk anything goes and i did once go into an arcade when drunk and was surrounded by staff and told to leave.. so it does work.

Anyway hope your day at work went ok.. cheers.. S.A 🙂

Hi,

Just read your post to SA. Not sure if you have a digital camera, printer and a PC handy but if you do, why not have an A4 page full of passport photos of yourself?

That what I did to get myself self-excluded. And it's far cheaper than going into a photo booth.

GT

Thanks Sa and Gettingthere,

I don't have the foggiest how to do that on my computer, but will have the pics in the next couple of days. I'm quite excited about the thought of self excluding, because it will just take away the element of "will I won't I?" when I walk past the arcades. I will be safe to just walk around my city again. Don't get me wrong, I do put effort into talking myself out of going in, and I win the battle most of the time, but even if I give in 5% of the time which isn't bad going! I still waste money and renew the urges and it can knock me off course again.

Still uncertain whether I will cope with this new job or not. I know its very possible that I will. Still struggling with anxiety and lack of confidence though. Could go either way, but will just continue to do my best, and see what happens. I have the safety net of my old job, if they can fit me in somewhere they said they would.

Going to see the doctor at lunchtime, to ask for some Valium to keep me going over the next week or two. If I haven't turned a corner by then, I will go on the sick for a week. My body feels quite stressed right now, but I have to remind myself I am still recovering from a nervous breakdown, and I am doing fantastically well as I have only done 6 shifts in my new job so far! I am proud of how I have coped. All the more important to get those self-exclusions in place so I can't do myself any damage if I do take a week off.

Hi my girl. Isn't it funny how all of us build scenarios in our head. We already know what is going to happen! I used to do that. It was only when I stopped predicting the outcomes in my head that I was able to live life better. I do not know what is going to happen, how someone is going to react, how I will react. I can't possibly know that. But in my head it's already worked out which used to make me chicken out and I often didn't do something because my head already told me what would happen. Go figure. Now I try my best to go with an open mind. That way I am often pleasantly suprised. Try it. Just for today you're gonna let life happen and not stress over anything. If you feel yourself stressing, let it go. Things happen, things we have no control over. Living better means accepting that. Stressing means not being able to let go of something out of our control. Love and Hugs. God Sabine x

Thanks Sabine,

Your words, as always, make sense. re read my last post and how full of 'if's' it was! if this...if that...

Have had a good day today. Briefly thought about gambling when I walked past one of my old haunts. I didn't gamble though. I was quite anxious this morning, but feel good right now.

Tomorrow will be shift number 8 in my new job. Was good to talk to someone tonight who suffers the same problems as me mental health wise, and works for the same company (but at a different branch).

I have not gambled for 7 days now. Going to talk to hubby tonight about just getting the expensive photobooth pictures tomorrow, rather than waiting to sort out the cheaper option. Would be lovely to have the option of gambling taken away from me. See I didn't gamble today, but easily could have. Bit of a daft thing to take chances with.

hi sabine, i spoke to you a couple of years ago. unfortunely i'm back in my old ways again. this time i have blown more than i did before. i dont know why it has happened but 2day is the first step (part 2) hope to hear from you soon

iain x

today was a good day at work. I did it without medication 🙂

I am so thrilled, it is a big step for me.

Day 10 and I did not gamble. Going out to see comedian tonight, looking forward to it 🙂

That's my girl! Recovery is fun. It's exciting. Once the cloud of doom and gloom in the head has lifted, the urges and thoughts about having to have a bet are mentally being changed to- no I don't need to gamble for today- good times start as long as we let them. I have said many times before and I still say it- every day is a good day, even the bad ones- for I am now able to feel them. When I stopped gambling, I set my emotions free and for that I am very grateful. Enjoy the weekend lovely girl and keep smiling. God Bless. Sabine x

Last night went a bit pear shaped, but such is life!

I was too anxious to enjoy the comedy and had to get a taxi home early. Took me a good while to calm down, but I think it was simply too long a day. I pushed myself too hard.

However, largely a successful day, because once I get on an even keel in my job, the rest will fall into place. Believe me, i have had to leave hundreds of things early over the years due to panic attacks.

Not a good nights sleep either for various reasons, so feeling tired and not up for work today. However, it is 4 hours out of my life, and I will cope. Day off tomorrow.

Hi f.. glad to hear that the work thing is generally settling down for you. It maybe that once your settled you decide to stay there for long time then just do a few hours if you decide to have wufflings. I would say babies but that sends a shiver down my spine lol

Anyway keep up the good work, enjoy the rest of the weekend.. S.A 🙂

Thanks for that, um surreal post SA!

no 'wufflings' on the horizon for me, till I get myself cured of this anxiety. Just had a properly shiv day 🙁 didn't sleep well, so was knackered, and feeling anxious about going to work. Then found out that the trains were all off (it normally takes me 1 hour 20 minutes to get to work) so asked my Dad if he would give me a lift through. We hit the worst traffic jam I have ever seen, literally worse than the week before Christmas, and it looked like we were going to be stuck for an hour at least. So I was sat there stressed and tired, thinking "I'm going to be over an hour late for a 4 hour shift at work, and Ive only been there a couple of weeks" I ended up having a panic attack and crying my eyes out, and just couldn't face going in. So I rang and left a message to say that we had been stuck in heavy traffic when the car broke down, and even if we got it started again, the traffic was so bad I would be at least 2 hours so it was unlikely I'd make it at all since the shop would be closing in 3 hours anyway.

My manager rang me back and clearly didn't believe me. I just feel like s**t. I am a genuine person, doing my best, under major stress with my anxiety problems, and now my employer is annoyed with me. I just wish things would get a bit easier, its wearing me out. I can do the job if random catastrophies would stop happening, but its pushing me too far. I forgot to pick up my keys the other day, which meant it took 4 hours to get into my home after i got back from work. Again, I had coped ok with the day at work, but this was too much when I realised I was locked out and I had a panic attack.

Anyway, rant over, I've had a cr** week and am feeling very stressed and run down. Life goes on.

And yes, life does go on.

What really matters is that none of these unfortunate events were down to you. If your boss does not believe you then that's their problem, not yours. Don't worry about what they said, as you said, you ARE a genuine person trying very hard to get through this very difficult journey.

You've just had a bad day/week. As long as you don't gamble, there will be many, many more happy days and they will far outweigh the bad ones.

How did you get on with the self-exclusion?

Stay strong.

GT

thanks Gettingthere,

I am also P*ssed off with myself about that, because I haven't done it yet. I was serious about getting it done by Friday, but I haven't been into the city centre for over a week with my anxiety. I feel like I have let myself down, by not prioritising it higher.

I need my husband to go with me, because I fear under all this pressure, walking in to do it alone, I might just go "ah f**k it!" and start gambling instead. Sounds weird, but because self-exclusion involves actually walking into the centre of temptation, I'm scared to do it on my own.

Anyway, I have arranged a lovely relaxing treat for today, and am hoping by this evening my outlook will be more in balance. When you have felt stressed for weeks, sometimes you can't think rational, everything seems worse.

Hi Freda.. sorry to hear about your stressful day on Saturday. Traffic jams are just a nightmare when you gotta be somewhere and its against the clock. I can imagine how you must have felt. I remember when i lived in London I had to allow masses of extra time to get to work cos I couldn't rely on tubes and buses to get me there on time. Like you say sometimes they just don't run!

Taking your husband with you when you self-exclude sounds like a good idea.. keeping yourself safe.

Sorry about the slightly surreal last post by the way. Sometimes I want to say something but can't quite find the right words so something slightly odd might come out. Sometimes I find am the same in the real world where i may want to say something to someone but in the immediacy of the moment something wierd comes out and i get an odd look.

Anyway before i become even more surreal.. I hope you enjoyed your relaxing treat today and now feel more balanced in yourself.. take care.. S.A 🙂