HARMONY !

Hi Shiny,

Yeah I know you and you know me, it's that simple.

Interesting horoscope. We gamble all the time in our personal and working lives. Living life playing safe would be ultimately boring. We make decisions regularly that could effect us and others but to gamble all our hard earned away on the spin of a wheel, the turn of a card or some seaside donkey is ultimately stupid.

All human beings need at least three addictions in order to survive and function. As long as we stay away from the ones that do us harm then we have nothing to lose. I will continue to read and post, I once offered you a more personal touch, confident that I could trust you. You rejected me, I totally understood why but still felt hurt. Like you I wear my heart on my sleeve, I gamble and take risks regularly but won't be gambling with money any more. I work too hard to earn it! Like I said I know you and you know me. I am a not a fraud or some creep.

I am happy now to accept your posts here now. Write whatever you like and I will too, there are no boundaries. All I want are like minded friends who understand and don't cast judgement. Decisions of life and love are often spontaneous, sometimes they need careful consideration first. This consideration is what we lost control of when we were gambling. Stress and anxiety are very big words and are individual and relative. We are ultimately control freaks, now I am not gambling I need to control other things less. Applying my control freak mentality to my gambling is what I can do best now. Controlling my abstinence for good.

Take care SunnyShiny. xxx

Yo,

Will prob post a lot over the next few days cause this whole holiday thing has really unsettled me .

Sort of taken me out of the middle lane , into the slow lane 🙁

Ok but being Shiny have devised a cunning plan , which I know will come to fruition so it will help steer me back to the place I have been for quite a while now !

I will speak to my daughter she is more in tune with the whole compulsive gambling thing than my other half . Who really to be honest does not get it , he bets EVERY DAY and seems to possesss a stop button unlike myself .

I will take one card , I need it to pay my bill and emergencies and £200 pounds ( £50 i will need as a tip when i leave) but will ask my lovely daughter to look over my mini statement on my return , as it would show up payments to bookies , or large amounts coming out of my account , other than my bill , think that should do the trick . Still in fear , cause the last time I went on holiday I gambled almost every day .

Failing that I may well not leave the hotel in the whole six days .lol But I will get through this and come out the other side with 6 more days added on as bricks in my wall . The wall between me and my next bet .

Why do I never take break which I desperately need cause this is what happens. But I can do this , I will do this , it's all in putting in the leg work , sorting out the blocks and then fighting the fear

Shiny xxxxxxx

PS why did I relapse after 5 years clean , cause I would not go on holiday ,would not go out , I was imprisoned by my addiction, this time it will be different , this time I will escape the chains that bind me . This time I will find it with the help of you lot to find a way to live in harmony with my addiction .

"Feel the fear...and do it anyway"....great book by Susan Jeffers!

Keep postiing a lot Shiny....a Libran??? maybe ..maybe not.?..lol

Just a cheeky guess from a little lamb who was turning into tough old bitter mutton..(Pisces/Aries cusp..but the ram won).lol..

You need some YOU time Shiny...even if you stay in your room,stick your big toe in the pool, read crime thriller...order up room service every night and basically never get dressed....does it matter?....its your time to spend as you wish....and post on here day and night...

The forum is your firewall ...with us you will be fine day or night...always someone here to chat to.. .our Wanderer is back too and Cameron and im always on here..lurking...

Totally have confidence and trust in you Shiny...

Unconditionally

R and D xx

Delivery for Miss shiny pants.......

Please find enclosed the following...

A prison break box set

A chocolate hamper packed with all your favourite goodies.

Some expensive pampering smellies.

A bucket load of peace, calm and tranquillity.

A sprinkling of food for the soul and mind

Your Gamcare pals to hold your hand should you need it.

Add to that the things you already have

Courage

Tenacity

Determination

Commitment

Wisdom

experience

Choice....

and i think your ready to go... Get that case packed and the towling dressing gown ready and try and stop fretting, the past is the past, this time will be different, YOU my friend deserve this and some!!!!

Go get em kiddo..

Blondie xxxxxxxxxxx

Yo,

LOL AND SOME

MISS BLONDIE , YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED EVER AGAIN TO GO ON HOLIDAY !!

that my good friend was just the tonic I needed .

Smiling Shiny xxxxxxxxx

Hi Shiny,

You have the fear? no, it can't be. All you need is to put some trust in yourself. Your time has come. What on earth would you need to get stressed out about? It's a nice relaxing holiday, use it for what it is. Get your money's worth and don't let it cost you an arm and a leg. I need you back in one piece!! Shiny happy people laughing. x

We posted on my diary at the same time!! *plays the theme music from the outer limits lol*

Hot of the press...

Grey’s Anatomy will return for Season 9 on Thursday, September 27 at 9 P.m. ET/PT on ABC. So get your tissue boxes bought up in bulk, because the aftermath of Lexie Grey’s death is about to be unleashed before our eyes.

But thats in the states and we are normally a few weeks behind... But im sure you could do a few repeats... Mcsteamy and Mcdreamy are soooo worth it.. Or i could recommend "Touch" the first series was on sky1 recently.. its worth a watch. ? But dont what ever you do fall into the hype of "%0 shades of grey" or 50 shades of S***e lol.. Im reading it at the moment and its same same after the first few chapters and very badly written.. But each to there own eh..

Blondie xxxxxxxx

hi shiny

thanks for the post and i like the the bit about face the fear, im tacklling similar approach now as i say lets face things head on, and you are strong and fighting so i for one know that you will have the best holiday possible because you totally deserve it and also you willcome back with six days added on

gamble frees the way forward

carl

o*g sorry i hope i didnt ruin it for you.. I am bang up to date so assumed you was to....

So i think that answers your question, yes you have 2 series to download.... Can i come ? Please please ? pretty please ? 🙂

Blondie xxxx

hey Shiny...

A Pineapple..ha ha ha.....LOL ..I love it.. : )

..ok ..had a think about this ...I reckon i'm a lemon...can be added to the party to dress up and accessorize and get the juices flowing ...but on the inside can be a bit bitter...LOL ..tee hee...

Wondering who will be a coconut...hairy on the outside with a soft fleshy middle...lol

R and D xx

Hiya Shiny,

That coconut sounds just like me!

Anyway seeing as you have an interest in astrology, can you guess my star sign? from my writing and the way my personality shines through,lol. I will be mighty impressed.

I used to dabble in the Tarot myself and years ago (a lot) when at uni I used to charge for readings. Maybe I will start again. Any other interests and talents you possess my sweet?

From your crazier than ever would be cyber lover, not so secret stalker and fervent admirer, A>N. xxx

hiya sorry for the lateness of my reply. Also on my phone as have pc issues. Not boring at all. I hate all reality shows and soaps. In fact watch very little tv. Prefer films but if i do watch tv then Its series like dexter, sons of anarchy or sopranos to name a few. You always seem to put yourself down or think I am winding you up. I am not. Sincerity and loyalty are my main qualities. Like yourself I have trust issues. Love to throw myself in at the deep end and try to swim. Generous but like my own way. You guessed it I am a ram with a bit of fish rising. Who cares? I did once. Now life is what you make it. Sleep well sunshine. Xx

Morning Shiny, great banter going on just now on here, everyone seems in good spirits and its infectious, makes me smile, so keep it up missus 🙂

The rocket mans eye is now yellow, he was strutting about showing it off at school at first, but now hes forgot all about it. Kids eh? Need to try not worry so much about him, hes a tough wee cookie. Thanks for asking after him 🙂

Hope the gulls left your washing alone, we get starlings Shi tting all over our windows, what do birds eat that make them sh it purple ??

I live by the *** and I must say the older I get the more I appreciate their view, just used to use them for ski-ing and playing in my younger years, never truly took them in, but now I often sit and study them, and they make me think of all the beautiful things in life that are free and I never took advantage of any of them.

Today Im ready to make use of any advantage that I didnt take, big or small, Im ready 🙂

Have a great day my friend

Cameron

Yo

My thoughts today, are about acceptance.

I am back in my middle lane , sorted things out with my daughter , blocks are in place and the fear of going on holiday has turned into a mild trepidation .

I am sure in a few more days I will start to feel happy and really start to look forward it .

Today right now I am standing in our shop. Not the best way to spend my days off but it's my life.

10 years ago my husband and I sold our house and bought the lease on a newsagents ( which we live above) with the profit. As it really does not make much money ( enough for us to live here and a small wage for my husband) I needed to keep my real job as really this is what keeps us going .

My shop is open everyday from 5am till 6 . It was the worste choice we ever made in our lives . We both hate working in the shop , but know we are off the property ladder and we live here we are sort of stuck .

Also not sure what job my husband would get without this.

Today my OH is suffering after a birthday party last night so here I am , tring to work out how to spend my next 2 hours , as this really is the most mind numbing job in the world .

Do not get me wrong , we have a far better standard of life than most people .

When I had my break down the shop had a lot to do with it , I could not say no , and would find myself working almost non stop but was very very resentful.

This would see me running to a bookies to escape from it all.

Today I have accepted it is what it is . At 6 this morning I was met with my oh looking all forlorn , expectant that I would cover his shift . When I was at it I the guilt of gambling would see me say oh I will do it for you . No more, the guilt has gone . Today I negotiated , I come it at 9 but you will need to go to the cash and carry in your own time ( I normally cover the shop when he does this)

This morning all though bored already , I do not feel resentment , in fact I feel empowered. I accept that this is the life I lead, but with the guilt gone , I am starting to get some balance , can say no , not feel guilty and as I do this my family are doing more for themselves and are becoming less demanding.

When we first look at the problems our gambling caused, we first think of money , then relationships.

I believe the damage we do ourselves is far far greater.

As we enter recovery , slowly over time , and the years that proceed we begin to fix ourselves, by fixing ourselves we become a far better person as a partner , as a parent , as a son or daughter , we become more productive at work, and I suspect a better person to be around .

Only 1 hour 40 to go lol

Bit of a catch up with my gamcare pals, should see the time fly by .....

Shiny xxxxxxxx

Hiya Shiny...

just a flyer asim in a service station but will be mediatatng on your post as I drive off ...

For now though..just to say that I undertsand how you have over compensated in the past.I have too but for different reasons but they dont matter as its the same feelings of guilt and graitude I can identify with.

I too am on a smiliiar pathto you timing wise..as the old over compensatory me is now saying no more and also negotiating on my terms too when I have repsonsibilities rather than doing everything.

I think your holiday is coming at the right time .

I also understand your shop situation too having been a shop owner tied to a lease...again...if only ...it was also a mistake in one way....a great learning curve in another ..

I pulled the shutters after 7 years when the lease ended and took a 40k hit...lagely to save my friendship who is the other half of the couple I stayed with..who was my business partner..(he was single then and I bank rolled him to have his own business which was his dream)

The original plan was for me to study as a nutriionalist and my friend buy the business off me in chunks with profits til he owned it himself..

In the end that didnt happen..and I began working on the supply side of the industry ...repping....The rest is history.

My friend ended up in a mental instiution as he was hiding lot of problems in the shop from me...he felt a terrific amount of guilt as it was my inheritance money we used to bank roll the shop and he was living above it but we never got right with cashflow.

So,like you I went and got another job despite having my own shop to take pressure off the shop salary wise.

You've come along way hun....and for better or worse you made it and will still make it....you are a good person.

Now ...enjoy that holiday.....!!! thats an order..lol : )

hugs

R and D xxx