HARMONY !

I have just read this. It doesn't make any sense does it? The ramblings of a madman. All I wanted to say was : Addiction will always be there. We just have to learn to live with it. Abstinence based recovery is the only way forward.

Shiny.

Good to see Mr. B may share some input i know it helps me a great deal to both learn and share.

Anyhow back to the subject in hand.

Us, the compulsive.

I think i speak for many here, certainly myself, i fight compulsive behavior in pretty much everything i do, when i smoked i would smoke each day until the pack empty, something compelled me to finish the whole packet. The same for drink, even when i had enough i would be compelled to keep going, eating!! I can be horrendous. Work, i would feel compelled to see every service, every plate. Through abstinence i am learning to live with my compulsive behaviors, through our quest to have better lives we can all learn.

To have compulsions but harness there power that is were i want to be. The power they give is awesome. Take the very honourable S.A that fella runs, he gives amazing dedication to it. Recently he ran marathon type distances, but through it he researched the outcome to his body, how to deal with the outcome and will achieve that marathon with the best result for him. For this i am so grateful he shared as i learnt too. No i won't be running anytime soon!!! Lol. But life is a marathon not a sprint.

Lets together help each other learn To use this amazing power.

Keep on keeping on.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo,

Thank you peeps for your posts going to spend sometime posting.

I think that yes I do need to address my latest unhealthy addictions , but can see today what lay beneath them.

Obviously everything I am dealing with is a factor . But I have recognised that I like order in my life . I run my life , or cope through rote . I hate hate hate it when things change . Moving out into dads has unsettled me . And it takes time to re establish routine .

I feel a bit like a fish out of water at the moment .

It's fine every day I am adjusting , every day I am setting things to help my life flow better .

I am sure by the end of the month I will be on top of it all.

With that said have a great weekend everyone , rumour has it the weather is going to improve , not before time !

Dads birthday Monday , so busy weekend ahead . If I do not post I am fine , but as always if I'm not fine I will post lol

Laters

Shiny xxxxxx

Hi shiny

Change is always a challenge and can be sometimes hard to embrace , but once that change has been made and its excepted it will become another stride forward in ur life and a what a big stride it is , really proud of u

Hope u find the time for bgt , jess is so lookin forward to it still can't believe its back on it really does seem only 2 mins since we were chatting bout last years

How time flies

Take care

Castle2

Hey Shiny,

There was me up and at them for 6.15am on a sunday morning ready to face the day. I came on here and noticed that you have posted on my diary before 6 in the morning. Very impressive. My sleeping pattern is mental at the moment. Cos I aint sitting up at night trying to finish my pack of cigs I go to be earlier now. The missus says I was asleep before 10pm last night. This is good but I can't sleep beyond six, which is driving me crazy.

My wife is running a half marathon this morning so everyone is up early anyway. She will romp this one because she has been training like Paula Radcliffe. Some nights she has been running home from work, which is about nine/ten miles away.

Anyway, I hope the Chief has an amazing birthday tomorrow. He is very lucky to have someone like you caring for him. I am sure that if the members of this forum could afford it they would pay for your services just to offer support and guidance on a 24hr service. I really hope things pick up for you soon because you really have so much on your plate at the moment. You are going through a lot of change, which will be very difficult but as always you will come out stronger and better at the other end.

Great to have you back with us and I feel very priviledged that I am someone who gets regular posts from you.

P.S. Just realised that you will be eating birthday cake tomorrow and I won't. I might buy a birthday cake tomorrow to celebrate your dad's birthday, which will totally not be a selfish act. Might be a hard one to explain to the missus right enough.

Tomso.

Cake i saw a mention of cake!!!!!

Morning shiny.

Thanks for the food for thought upon my thread.

I hope you and your pops have a special day.

For moments like that are the true rewards of your efforts.

Value =Priceless.

Btw. Loved the weather forecast it poured lol.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Morning my friend,

A fish out of water maybe but my time on this site has shown you find a way of working things through, persevere and readjust.

Enjoy dad's birthday sure you will have a lovely day and don't get too hung up on fighting all corners in one go. Take your time pick and choose the battles one at a time. Great recipe for success.

Flagg

hey Shiny

No words of wisdom from me as it would be like the blind (me) leading the less blind (you) right now ..

Anyhow just so you know I am reading and keeping a tight ship and glad you have Mr B as your guide ...wow ..it sounds like Star Wars ..

May The Force Be With You

R and D xx

Hey shiny

Not sure if I'm get the right end of the stick here but I'm thinking you have moved I to your dads...is this for a break or permanently ..or just day at a time ? ...

Moving is a top stressor so be sure to have things and people around you for comfort ....am guessing you are still Involved with your business aswell as being a spy of course ; ) ...but if you cover when your other is off then perhaps it's not as strained for you...

Anyhoo...apols If I've got the wrong end of the plank ...and keep posting xxxx

Good Morning Shiny,

Just dropping by to say hello and sending my best wishes to you and your dad today on his birthday. Save me a piece of that cake please. -joanxxxxxxx

Yo,

Thank you guys for your best wishes .

Dad had a good weekend , saw everyone , managed to remain upbeat , so lots and lots of laughter . Those will I hope be the memories that will stay with those who visited in years to come .

Me I am ok , just I think . Still struggling to get into a routine , still trying to get on top of my other addictions . But now the weekends past , it should start to get easier . Perseverance is the key at the moment I think .

I know in years to come I will look back and wonder as to how I managed to get through this faze of my life .

But know I can, like Flagg said little bites , try not to address everything in one fell swoop .

Shiny xxxxxxx

Hi Shiny,

And, today, you are coping with these changes. You are getting through these days with your eyes wide opened. That's progress!! You said it yourself a hundred times over that a shortcoming for most of us struggling with addiction is wanting things to happen yesterday. Me too! It's easy to be a good little doobie when my life is on track. The challenge comes when it's my turn at bat and life throws me one of those curve balls. You my friend are standing strong at bat; rising to the challenge!! Here's the pitch and Shiny knocks it out of the park!! The crowd goes wild. Big hug for you today Shiny! -joanxxxxxx

Morning shiny

Facing up to life is something we av to do it may av took us both a while but it had to happen , u def will look back and wonder how u got through it all as I know I do how I got through last year financially I still dont know the only reason in the end was I didn't give into my addiction and thats exactly how u will get through all me this , the flaw for me was I I got through it life financially for me got so much better that I got complacent then bang dont know what hit me , just shows our hard our lives are

I'm just so thankful that there's people like u who understand and for me that makes the fight worth fighting for , without u , others and this site I dread to think where I would be

Jess loved the shadows it was so unique she also liked the young lad who was the comedian but out of all of it she loves David walliams makes her laugh so much which is a joy to see

Keep doin what ur doin , u know the supports always goin to be here for u and as always I'm indebted to u for all yours it really means the world

Castle2

Hey shiny pants,

Just a wish by to say thank you.

Glad dads birthday went well and your so right those are the priceless memories we hold with us forever.

Hope things are settling down for you a little and the routine is getting easier.

Keep plugging away shiny it will all be worth it in the end, small,steps to the bigger picture,

Take care

Blondie xxxxxx

Yo,

Starting to feel a bit more settled , living here .

Knew it was just a question of getting into a routine .

Dad after a bad few days has perked up a bit , which is good .

My hubby is trying really really hard to win me back . Which is taking every ounce of deplomacy I have not to say hell will need to freeze over first .

Thinking of taking up a new career with the UN lol

Slowly managing to get a handle on my other addictions eating and drinking which most defo went into free fall .

So getting there . Still very aware that I have put enormous presure on myself , by taking on so many life changing things on at the same time . But know deep down that it was the only way to proceed .Also remind myself daily that I am only one bet away from the madness that is my gambling addiction that twice in my life brought me to my knees . And that I am the most susceptible that have been in the longest time . Please note I said is my gambling addiction not was , as I believe along with a fair few , that it never goes away , just lies inside you waiting to pounce .

Not this time buddy !

Hope you all have a great gamble free weekend .

Laters

Shiny xxxxxxx