Day 30 - positive head one today, re-jigged my debt plan and if I get this pay rise at work then I think we can knock 6 months off the debt free date 🙂 £5 feels like £100 at the minute but having no money now will only lead to us having more money each month that we have ever had!
Big night out tomorrow night, still 50/50 on whether I actually want to go but I'm sure I'll be fine once I'm out. And apart from my works xmas do in a couple of weeks I probably won't be having another night out in about 3 months so I better make the most of it!
Advice for anyone out there who has continuously tried to quit and failed - give someone your bank cards - all of them. You would not believe how easy this is when you physically can not deposit money!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 31 - sick of eating bread, sick of eating crackers, sick of eating complete s***e because it's cheap. Think I only ate dinner one night this week. Absolute b****x. Asked for some money for food shopping and got given a tenner (there are 4 of us to feed). So now I'll have to ask for more money tomorrow or Sunday for food and no doubt there will be a big sigh because I've asked again. IN A f*****g FOUL MOOD AND REALLY DO NOT WANT TO GO OUT TONIGHT.
There's no rule that says that the first arrangement that he and you try re managing money is going to work. It's about finding an arrangement that does work.
From what I've heard at meetings, it seems that doling out folding notes or accompanying to shops doesn't work well. Too invasive for the gambler, too time consuming for the non gambler. What works better is an allowance administered via a monitored account or a joint account. You could open an instant saver, cashcard only, he could transfer in what's needed and monitor activity on line. Or if you're comfortable with the card to the joint account, use that. In our house, I do most of the shopping so it's less of an issue. My husband has an allowance that he takes from the joint account and I maintain it at an agreed level. When I'm working and my husband is doing domestics, we agree that I should make more money available to him via our joint account. Fingers on keyboard, job done. He could abuse the arrangement but as he seems to be more scared of relapse than I am, he doesn't.
re eating, not eating properly is a sacrifice that no one around you requires and it's totally unhelpful and unhealthy. It's no good denying your basic needs and then blaming everyone else.
re your mood, no need to bring everyone else down. You could do something positive for your husband and the others around you by going out and joining in with good grace. Let him have your time and the best of you? Expensive gifts that you can no longer buy aren't a substitute for that.
Day 34 - Friday night was amazing 🙂 looking forward to doing absolutely nothing this weekend though, couldn't even look at a drink at the minute.
Had to face the in-laws at the weekend - first time I'd seen them since I knew that they knew what I'd done. They are too nice to me, even brought me a mince pie and bottle of sherry back from the Santa train that they had took the kids on. Booze blues + people being nice to me just made me want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 35 - yesterday I heard news that a friend of a friend had died of cancer. He was 27 years old. I didn't even know him but yet I was constantly thinking about it, even read his blog. Who decides the S**t that people are going to be handed in their life?! Here you go....you can be riddled with cancer and die at 27 and never get to live your life of have kids....here you go.....you can have a set of really sh!tty parents and end up in care and be abused....here you go....you can be blessed with children who end up dying in a car crash....here you go....you can have a gambling/alcohol/drug/s*x/food addiction and completely destroy yourself and your family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm starting to understand why people top themselves, maybe it's better to leave the stage early than wait for whatever sh!tty hand your going to be dealt! I bet if you think about every person you know they have gone through something pretty terrible, and if you can think of someone who hasn't it probably just means they've just managed to keep it a secret from you.
Nice depressing post from me today! Maybe I'll take a walk around the xmas markets and lunch and try and bring some Christmas cheer tomorrow - don't hold your breath though!
Day 36 - was meant to be having a nice chilled 'let's wrap Christmas presents' day......instead I have.....
- hung up 5 million items of clothing
- cleared out the toy box
- spent 3.5 hours wrapping presents (and there are still more to get and wrap)
- filled in and delivered nursery application forms
- filled in and delivered after school club applications
- posted an ebay sale
- unblocked the pipe from the sink/washing machine (cleaned up flood in kitchen prior to that)
- done 2 loads of washing (one still to go)
- not managed to get washed
- had a cheese and tuna toastie which classifies as breakfast lunch and dinner
now I have to pick the kids up from 2 separate locations and go 45 minutes to drop one at an xmas party whilst dealing with the other one kicking off because she's too young to go....then find somewhere to go for 90 minutes before I have to go back and pick the party child up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY.
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Day 41 - soooooo tired!!! And have slept loads all weekend 🙁 mini 3 day detox coming up now before my works xmas do on Thursday and another night out on Saturday that's been put in last minute! At least when these two are over with there's nothing else until NYE. And only 4 days in work this week and then pretty much off for 3 weeks 🙂
Christmas shopping almost all done now just the stocking fillers to get next week. Bought the turkey at the weekend. This is when December starts getting stupidly expensive because you think you've got everything and then you remember you forgot this and forgot that and you have to buy dinner for 11 people and you've ended up spending an unexpected 300 quid before you even know it.....urgh....can't wait for it to all be done and dusted and start battering away at the debts in Jan.
Day 42 - luckily realised yesterday that I'd left myself 50 quid short for the direct debits coming out tomorrow, last thing we need right now is to start getting charged for missing payments! And the gym have took another direct debit when I cancelled it last month so they will be getting a sh!tty letter this week grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
On the plus side day 2 of a 3 day detox (I know it's not much but it is December and every little helps!) - no tea, coffee, fizzy drinks, alcohol, sugar, chocolate, sweets or crisps! And lots of exercise yesterday too 🙂 - can't walk today my legs feels like a body builders!
Can't wait for a massive feed on my works do on Thursday night even if it is money that shouldn't be spent 🙁
Hey Shorty,
Thanks for your recent posts on my diary.
How's things with you? Detox going well? Have you discovered any great lunch options with much cheapness? I'll be needing some tips!
Day 43 - December can seriously do one!!!!!!! Emailed the gym to complain, they came back and said blah blah blah...I said I cancelled it before my November payment so I was expecting the last payment to be in November. They told me that I now need to contact the gym directly - w*f. Now getting texts off the school saying tomorrow is Christmas jumper day as well as needing a £2 donation - this must be the 5th time this month the school has asked for something getting really P!SSED off now. Could have got a cheap jumper from pri mark but have no money or cards so husband is now P!ssed off cos he has to go and get one for twice the price from next.
Detox is going well apart from eating a free mince pie from work yesterday - I actually feel really good and not as tired as I normally am. Although after today I just want to go home and tilt my head back and pour a entire bottle of red wine down my throat. I guess it's better than wanting to go home and gamble!
Don't buy one Shorty! Tinsel, some baubles & safety pins/a bit of thread & hey presto 🙂
No time to stop & chat since I'm @ work but couldn't not throw you that lifeline!
Day 57....nice to have a little break from posting every day and see the days clocking up. Had a wonderful Christmas but will be glad to get NYE out of the way and have some good clean living for at least a couple of months after all the booze over the past week! Got confirmation of my job move and payrise - wasn't as much as I had asked for but enough to make life a little easier every month and hopefully if I go and do a good job it will mean more promotions and better bonuses in the future. Really dreading moving if I'm being honest, it's going to be a lot more work and I'm used to working on my own and this is going to mean more team work - I'm sure I'll enjoy it once I get in and get used to the routine I guess I just don't like change! Trying not to think too much about it and enjoy my time off over Christmas 🙂 what will be will be and if I hate it I can always go somewhere else.
day 64....when you spend all christmas getting loads of sleep and the night before you are back at work you have insomnia and wake up feeling sick as a dog.....roll on tomorrow! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Hi Shorty, hows things? Hope you're feeling better.
PA
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