Hope

Hope you enjoyed the walk... erm, that's it!

GT

Day 79 since my last gamble of any kind and gambling free it shall remain.

Leg still playing me up. Walking on a limb with inflamed tendons (if thats what it is) in the snow and ice.. aint much fun 🙁 Added to that it was a visit to the dentist. He was a very friendly dentist though.. he asked me what i did for a living so i told him what i use to do.. and then of course he has his gambling stories "somebody he knows" bla bla..

I decided not to mention that i to have gambling problems.. especially when he said that all addicts are liers and he couldnt understand how people get themselves into such pre-dicaments etc.. which is of course what the average Joe without an addiction would think. Anyway like i say i warmed to him in a way and hes going to crown one of my teeth... so I shall be careful what i say lol

Must admit that i woke up feeling anxious and worried this morning especially when i looked at my bank balance.. but funny how a little chat with someone (albeit the dentist) has helped to calm me down. As long as i don't gamble things will work out am sure. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Just wondering whether it's worth you having a look at your bank statements and transactions this time last year?

I did and it really was not nice to see. But it really made feel much better about the position that I am in now (not that it is my ideal position!).

And it made me even more determined to be in an even better position this time next year.

GT

Day 80 since my last gamble of any kind and gambling free it shall remain.

Hi Gt... to be honest my bank statements looked quite healthy this time last year but I know what you mean. If I was gambling my bank account would have about 37 pence in it and i'd be living on fresh air. I aint ever going back to that.

Am gonna sort my flat out today.. ive let it go a bit. My flat reflects the state of my mind. I notice ive disappeared into my own little world of thoughts and dreams the last few days, idling away time. Moments of constructive action but only moments. Its easy for me to become very insular and hard to be out their in the world

Its like am living the life of a retired person.. short walks to the shops, brief chats with the neighbours, cup of tea and a sandwich, afternoon telly, early to bed early to rise.

I miss my running. A walk to the shops just doesnt cut it.. doenst raise the heart rate. I still eat like am running so am putting weight on. I can't have chocolate or crisps or big lumps of cheese in the flat cos i eat them in one sitting or two sittings with a 10 minute gap.

Am not especially having any thoughts of gambling though I shall go to Ga tonight if only for the company. As long as I don't go out drinking in the city and set myself up I will be ok this xmas.

It crosses my mind that 31st December will be 90 days of freedom for me which is significant in GA. One of the books is called Towards the first 90 days and another Beyond 90 days. I shall read these books. Much wisdom in the literature even if some of it is a bit dated. I think its true that it really does take 90 days to get established in recovery and get use to living life without gambling. I shall stop counting at 90 days but continue to make each day count. Thanks for listening.. S.A

I can certainly relate to your post about feeling like a retired old man at the moment. As I am off from work this week, I have been doing a lot of walking to shops, etc too. I am missing the opportunity to go jogging but this will come once the snow and ice has cleared. I will need to as I need to up my training for the half marathon in March.

Yes I do have a cat. Otherwise it would not be much point in sorting the cat flap out! He is great company - perhaps another thing to help people in this recovery journey?!

Have a good gamble-free and flat tidying day!

GT

Hi SA,what a good idea putting that synopsis on the first post of your diary,i'm sure many will read it,and gain a better understanding about how your life has been:),....hope you do manage to get to GA tonight,and that you gain some more strength from the meeting.

Seano.

Hi S.A

Well done mate on 80 days gamblefree today. Hope you managed to get to your meet at GA.

Keep at it, you are doing just fine.

Hopefully the snowy weather will soon be gone and you can get back to your running.

I too love that cold blast hitting my face ( A previous post of yours), it sort of kicks me into life, that fresh, crisp, cold, winter air..

Anyway keep up the great work and takecare..

Thanks also for your Birthday wishes..

All the best

Hi S.A.

Well done on day 81 mate, you are doing fine.

Drink and gambling were always linked for me too, but life is there for living SA and we must not gamble if we want to give ourselves the very best chance.

Sure, we have regrets and paying off the debts is a pain in the neck ALL the time. Not a day goes by when I dont have regrets but we live with them.

You are doing fine SA, just keep the guard up mate

Take Care

Blues

Day 81 dawns gambling free and gambling free it shall remain.

Thanks Guys.. and yes I did gain strength from the Ga meeting last night. Must admit that i'd had that "feeling" of wanting to gamble b4 I got their but afterwards the feeling had gone completely. I think the urge to gamble had arisen because I was very early (I had expected transport delays but there was none) and I was wondering around the city centre not quite sure what to do with myself and it was so cold. Anyway i coped thats all that matters.

Its snowing here again today. I will stay local and enjoy the snow. I hope everyone enjoys another gambling free day.. S.A 🙂

81 days and odaat we go friend...good idea updating your front page....maybes i shouldve done that then again im just happy that i can post...ive never been into modern technology lol...keep it going friend we can do this 🙂

Hi SA,good to read that you got something from the meeting last night,and that you seem to be in a positive frame of mind today,as i mentioned the other day,updating your "front page" is a great idea,not only for those that may read it,but as a daily reminder for yourself about the

pretty harrowing effect this addiction as had on your life,for the first time in ages some posts on the forum today have actually stirred my memory back to my darkest days,i have found it helpful,makes keeping a diary vital.

Best regards,Seano.

Day 82 dawns gambling free and gambling free it shall remain.

Well xmas is sorted. Wake up in my flat in the morning make a few calls to family.. and then walk round to mates place which will take more than an hour but thats ok with me. Have xmas dinner at his and then get sloshed probably and sleep over in his spare room.

To be honest I feel like a bit of a polar bear at the moment. Ive had my play in the snow now all I wnat to do is crawl into a big hole and sleep till spring. Its like ive slowed down so much even tortoises are more active than me.

Finding the motivation to do the washing up or even brush my teeth is a struggle. Am depressed really but hey ho it will pass in time. Gambling won't make things any better. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Sorry to read your having a bit of a down day SA,i hope your mood lifts as the day goes on,i usually find that when i'm having morbid thoughts my mood gradually lifts and normally by early evening i'm in a bit better frame of mind:),......glad you have sorted out christmas day,it will be good for you to spend time with your mate,and if you do get P***ed at least you wont have a long walk home,that one hour walk would take two hours for me if i was drunk!!!!.

Best thoughts,Seano.

I think you are solar-powered like me, SA!

I hate the darkness - but the days have been getting longer for 2 whole days now you know! 😀

Day 84 is a massive achievement SA, it really is. Sorry you are feeling low. It is most probably a byproduct of feeling 'out of the loop'. I think a lot of us would get depressed if we didn't have the small pressure of getting to work on time every day. I am prone to depression when on holiday, as I waste my days faffing about.

Maybe after the new year, you should look into the volunteering? do something light-hearted for a change, not support work.

You know all this yourself though, Im not going to tell my granny how to suck eggs.

Sounds like a nice Chrimbo you have got sorted there - I imagine thousands would love to do that instead of humouring obnoxious relatives all day!

Anyways, must dash. Hope you have a good day 🙂

Take care,

f x

Hey SA,

Sorry to hear you are having a bit of a down day, praying it passes.

Just think of that full belly feeling and sinking a few cold ones on Xmas day my friend, something you will deserve as that will be 86 days gamble free.

Many rivers to Cross SA.....we can find our way over

Hope you have a great GAMBLE FREE Xmas

Bles