Hope

Hi SA,

Glad you are managing to stay upbeat. Its hard when you know the importance of staying busy!

You are right when you say you are strong and have great inner resources to draw on. I very much admire the way you have coped with all this stress and change.

I think you are great! thanks for being 'you' 🙂

Take care,

f x

Hi SA, well done on 74days gamble free, great achievement.

I know you had a slip a few months ago, but it really takes unimaginable resolve to realise you MUST get back on the straight and narrow.

Non-gamblers, will never understand what its like to find your body in a bookies even though you have no intention of going in there in the first place(if that makes sense)

Well done, I'm rooting for you SA, you have been here before and can do it again

Take Care

Blues

Thanks guys and gal.. your support and encouragement trully helps to keep me focussed and to remind myself that i am not alone on my journey through life and recovery.

Like Blues says today is day 74 since my last bet of any kind and gambling free it shall remain.

I have just been to take the computer tests for this job that i should have taken yesterday but couldnt because they had a power cut. It was in two parts firstly writing a letter of condolence.. which was ok to be honest.. am ok with crafting letters and email stuff.. ive been doing it for years. The second part was a test on using Excel and i didn't even get a chance to look at it b4 time was up.. o well never mind. I then had a informal chat and a cup of tea. The being a nice bloke and easy going collegue i do well.

When I left i bumped into a friend of mine.. well more of an accquaitance really. he's been out of work for over 3 years now and i could see how much he has aged. I know other people in similar pre-dicaments. I feel that the number of middle aged men supping their pints in Wetherspoons (otherwise known as gods waiting room) is only going to grow. My time has not yet come.

Again I feel strong in recovery today. It doesnt matter how bored, listless, aimless, de-jected, de-motivated, isolated, lonely, scared, worried I may feel or how poor and poverty stricken I may get or whatever personal crisis may unfold.. I will not gamble.. one day at a time.

By like i say.. today I am managing just fine. I keep doing positive things. Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

great post s.a im fairly certain of your ability to write letters mate as your input on here backs that up...not so sure aboot middle aged men in wetherspoons tho ?!!! as monies are tight if i ever get a pint these days thats generally where i end up lol..hope you dont mind but ive used your diary as an example to curly today,in that how much posting regulary helps 🙂 ....another day mastered keep going mate,we can do this 🙂

Hi SA,glad to read that you are remaining positive,as i've said to you before in relative terms it's still early days in your "career" change path:),if you can get clued up on excel it will be a big help,i think you can get lots of "free" bits and bobs of self help online.

Seano.

Thanks guys.

Into day 75 since my last gamble of any kind and gambling free it shall remain. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Thanks for the chuckles! gods waiting room, lol - too right.

Take care,

f x

Hi SA

Thanks for dropping in on my diary, always nice to hear from you.

Glad you are ok and doing well mate, those days gamble free are racking up nicely. You where the first poster on my diary and throughout my journey you have given me some great advice and support and i can honestly say i am sooo grateful.

To me you are the odaat king, and im still bowing to you!!

Genuine respect to you my friend, you are a sound geezer.

Take care and all the best, ands

Thanks both 🙂

Into day 76 since my last gamble of any kind and gambling free it shall remain.

It crosses my mind that am starting to feel stronger in recovery. Nothing has objectively changed in my life but I am starting to feel better in myself.. despite the ups and downs in my mood.

I have no desire to gamble with my life anymore. Thanks for listening.. S.A 🙂

And I have absolutely no desire to gamble my hard earned money away any more.

Oh no, Jose!

Glad to see that you are starting to feel stronger in recovery. Just be ready for when those evil gambling thoughts return (and they will).

You will definitely make the right choices, I am very confident in you.

GT

another day conquered by s.a and another day of feeling stronger getting away from this evil...keep it going mate and as ands says the odaat king...it certainly works pal 🙂 P.s overstepped no mark for wetherspoons friend 😉

Into day 77 since my last gamble of any kind and gambling free it shall remain.

I had a gambling dream last night. I'd won a jackpot but couldn't get the money. I think it was brought on by reading an indepth gambling experince from a newbie (£800 on a cartoon horse)... it brought all the memories flooding back. Anyway it was just a dream.. no damage done.

I'd been feeling fairly good yesterday even broke into a smile for a few seconds but thats past now. Am feeling down in the dumps today, feeling a bit ill am all pastey white but not the glistening white of the carpet of snow outside.

Am spose to be going to some running "do thingy" tonight but nobody has dropped me a text or anything to see if i am going which gets me thinking that they arent going either. I should go anyway, make the effort.. especially cos yesterday i didn't speak to anyone and to do the same today aint so good. See how i feel later in the day its still early.

Am aware that I feel stronger in revcovery lately but also know that that can change in an instant if i put myself in the wrong circumstance. I will use my self-awareness to keep myself safe. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Hi SA,i read the post your referring to and it was very well written,and like you it reminded me very much of my past behaviour,albeit on the exchanges in my case:),......i'm certain it would have contributed to you dreaming about gambling:).

I reckon you should make the effort to attend the running do,.....although i also understand the trepidation you feel,we get ourselves into such a rut at times,i for one can always find reasons aplenty not to do things,and have to work hard to make the effort to socialise.Have a good day.

Seano.

Hope you managed to get to this running do last night and that you enjoyed it. I treated myself to a pub meal last night whilst watching a surreal football match (Ipswich v Leicester in the snow) and really enjoyed it.

It really does show that you are so far in your recovery journey when you can think ahead as you know what will happen to good days like yesterday - that there will be some feeling down days coming up.

But remember that the further you are in your recovery journey, the more upbeat days there are.

Just had a read of your first post, which I presume that you had updated recently. My God, you have been through the mills haven't you?!

But just think about where you are now compared with that Christmas years ago. And you should be really proud of this. It's not easy beating this terrible addiction.

Have a good gamble free day today.

GT

Thanks Gt 🙂 Day 78 since my last gamble.

Never made it to the running do.. the weather just to snowy.. buses not running.. but enjoyed staying in and watching "Strictly come dancing final.

Had a longish walk today to meet a friend for lunch and then the longish walk home.. very refreshing and really enjoyed the snowy scenery and cold on the face. No gambling problems.. S.A 🙂