Hope

Something you wrote there made so much sence to me. About changing your life situation.

I had a really bad year last year, with everything, and had made the choice this year that my mantra would be,

Nothing changes, if nothing changes.

This year I am going to put myself and my recovery first. Making the changes I need to , I am determined not to have a year like last year. Is it working, somewhat, not as well as I had first thought but I am being stronger, saying no more often and really trying to see where I can make a change. Awareness of the problems is the first step , resolving them is the second.

Keep going my friend.

Dusty

Hiya SA....as usual your posts get the "little grey cells" as Poirot says...working...

I also thought as DF did about changing your life situation...or maybe our attitude to it.Im the worst with changing attitude as need an actual change of something but I can admire those who can do that. that.

For me it is usually a case of removing something that is a big stress but we are all different....the trigger for any urges I have is the emotion of surpressed anger or feeling "trapped".As an adult it still hasnt registered that I have choice and I suppose like us all choice often also includes a loss of something.I hate the loss side and try and keep all plates spinning to exhaustion...hope that makes sense .As DF says ...you have great awareness of your situation and that counts for a lot as once we have that we cant kid ourselves ...keep posting SA....take care

Hi SA,

I can identify with your post about money ive noticed on my diary that i mention it or rather lack of it quite alot but when things are tight ie rent,bills etc its difficult not to fixate on.

But without gambling you know things will get better maybe slowly but its a step in the right direction.

That said its all sounding positive for you.

Onwards and upwards.:0)

Stay Strong.

Ex

Hi SA,

I really empathise with you on the job front. I work right outside an autistic unit, and one of the staff from there was looking close to tears when she came out for a f*g. She said she has been beaten up all week. She sounded really flat, god bless her. I hope she had a better afternoon.

Have you looked at elderly care home jobs? I know some of them get a bit punchy if they have dementia, but surely less so than SEN clients.

Hope you manage to find something soon matey.

Remember January is traditionally a s**t month for everyone - so take heart that it probably isn't just you who is fed up and skint 😉

You are doing great.

f x

PS I think £7.40 is a bargain, you pay more for a few beers. Sorry, lecture over.

Hi SA

Thought I'd bump your diary up the top where it belongs so new people can read a good, honest and straight forward diary of how it is. Hope a good job comes your way soon. It will happen of that I'm sure. It will only be revealed when the time is right. Take care

Hi SA

Sorry to hear about your little 'slip'. The main thing is that you still have to desire to not gamble and you were back here posting almost immediately. When i started gambling again it was planned and i think i spent a good couple of months back out there before i was ready to return. You know how to beat this illness, you know its wrong to gamble and i'm sure the longer you stay away from it your life will improve dramatically.

Take care

Keith

Hiya SA 🙂

Thanks for the message and glad that I have been of some help 🙂

SLUSHY ALERT.... 😉

I have a very long memory..and in my first year here there were many a time you brought me out of my doldrums...cheered me up ...and supported me consistently with great understanding, I don't forget stuff like that. Your great.

Really wishing good things for you this year.

Love Del xox

Yes, go for the marathon.

What an incentive!

Keep on running...

...away from the gambling world!

GT

Hi SA...just popped in to say hello....bringing you a cup of tea ...U.....(thats a cup)....Your doing great and always an inspiration ...your in my Thinks ...take care Dot and Rach

Thanks for your support folks 🙂

Ive been for one of the longest runs ive ever done.. 2 hours 20 mins.. no stopping.. did about 14 miles. No problem in this cold weather as i don't get dehydrated.. though I could feel myself starting to hit the "runners wall" at the end. I guess its as my body had used up all its feul. Am going to do a marathon this year.. need to start thinking about nutrition and fluids on these longer runs. No injury problems.. touch wood.

Back to work tomorrow. Feeling a bit stressed about it but just gotta take each day as it comes. No gambling problems.. still quite depressed about what happened before exmas and my general life situation but like we say... things will improve slowly but surely.. time and patience. Thanks for listening... S.A

last gamble 24th December 2011

Great run, you're well your way!

I found that as long as you do a 20 mile training run, the crowd, the occasion and the other runners will keep you going for 6.2 more miles.

Keep on running!

GT

sounds like your well on your way with the running SA..brilliant stuff....on the subject of fluids on the run those little flat rucksack style water carriers with a tube look good ....i think on the day as GT says the adrenaline will keep you going ...take care...keep posting ....

Hi SA

Well done on that run, sounds very impressive!!

Hope work goes ok, try not to let the pre christmas episode bother you too much, can't change the past only the future.

Take care

Keith

Thanks folks.

Woke up in a real depressed mood today. It was hard to pull back the covers and face the day. I had a panicky moment in which i was tempted just to switch my phone off and withdraw from everything and hide under my duvet. But face the day i did and my mood lifted gradually as the day went on.

I was assigned to arguably the most challenging client in the centre along with another staff member who spent much of his day on the phone sorting out his own personal buisness. However I was able to remind myself that I cannot change other peoples behaviour and nor should i try. I just stuck to my client like glue and did my job as best i could and my client responded positively to my interactions. So by the end of the day, when we dropped him off home, I felt a sense of .. "job well done."

On to the next day... "never give up giving up."

Thanks for listening folks... S.A 🙂

Last gamble 24th December 2011

Hi SA

Glad to see you're fighting the fight. Some days are better than others and I can sympathise with your thoughts of withdrawing. However we all know that we have to face up to life on life's terms and sometimes it can be tricky. One day at a time is all we have and you got through it to see what tomorrow brings. The day could have been a hell of a lot worse for any one of us but today we chose not to gamble. Take care