Hope

Cheers Dotty... I wrote some thoughts in your diary.. not sure it makes much sense. Am just kinda realising how mega-tired I am today. Recovering form yesterdays long run and feel like am doing the job of a support worker plus a support worker at work today. The relentlessness of it all. Anyways am appy enough that a nuther day passes gamble free. Onwards... S.A

Hiya SA..

Thanks for posting again hun....I bought this house in 2005 my second bought home ....lived in it alone then met my ex...I rented it out for 2.5 years and me and ex rented twice over in a different city.

Then when my relationship was at critical stage i moved in with pals near my home and waited til my tenants term was up....

I then moved back in my own home...that was last Nov ....

Am moving out again now as all my buffer savings "went"..shall we say ..and I can no longer afford to live in my own home.

so ..I am renting out again to try and recoup some cash that was lost and will be in my pals back bedroom now til next easter paying rent and bills ....am just gutted that I worked so hard for my home and I cant live in it..

so ..I will adapt and my friends I have known for years but at my age now(45) I thought i would be settled...

Home is very important to me and it disturbs me to move but as you say....home is home and I shall create a home wherever I go..just need that sanctuary as its so important..more than people... and i know that sounds crazy but its true..

Human race i'm not keen on but I love individuals if that makes sense......

So...change is upon me...as I get so attached to where I live...

Double support worker for you?...hope they pay you twice...always have great respect for folk who work in a caring capacity...you have to be a certain type of person to do that....a giver.

Thanks SA

keep on running......

R and D xxx

I hear ya Dotty... thanks for support.

Am all stressed at this moment in time. My day off today becuase I worked Saturday. But ive had the 8.05 phone call.. which can only mean one thing.. they got no drivers.. can i come in.. or why aren't you here.. the boss having forgotten that she gave me my day off today.

Ive ignored the repeated phone calls and the follow up text message which i haven't read just in case she's got that thing which tells her when a text message has been opened.

It ain't my problem but I feel bad. There is an internal battle going on. The people pleasing side of me.. like, o yes no problem as i rush in to fill the gaps and the.. it ain't my problem if you haven't done the rota properly or others have phoned in sick.. your management.. and as she would say to me... "Just deal with it!!"

I will return her call later. Am stressed though and i shouldn't be. No gambling..Thanks for listening.. S.A

Update 9.10... this is doing my fruit in and it shouldn't. Turns out the text message was from a mate but in my state of stress I red it as my bosses name. Funny how everything changes when stressed. Anyway am sitting here debating at what point to phone back (or more than likely text). The calls have now stopped so she's obviously "dealing with it"... Well i woosh she had dealt with it without phoning me. Its her sloppy or non-existent management that leads to these situations in the first place. Its called muddling through day to day.

Update 9.35.. sent text, no reply. So perhaps now i can get on with my day.

hiya SA...

wow...been in similar dilemmas myself and know this one...

I could throttle her myself for ringing you in the first place...if i'm reading this correctly ..the text you sent her was to show willing to come in if she would have put you on the spot?...

Think this has worked itself out...as if she has dealt with it now you are in a win/win...no guilt on your part for not getting back in touch as you have and also shes had to pull her finger out and you can have your day off.

Start your day again...and maybe switch your phone off til 5pm.'

It should'nt have to be this way....

From experience of similar although I am in no way suggesting you do this....on my days off I always have a back up reason "why I cant"....having a dog is brilliant for this and i know my pals with kids use their kids as the "reason they cant"...

This way...if i decide to do XYZ...its done as a great favour...with lots of sighing and it makes my boss sooo grateful...but if I don't go in no one would dare pull a guilt trip.

It shouldn't have to be this way and we shouldn't have to have a counter guilt trip to use but i have found this works for me....

People who i know with kids have been using this trick for years...we have to have some perks in life hun xx

Bless you dotty. The text message red...

"I was out running. I hope things resolved themselves. Am with phone now if you still need to contact me".. and as she's not replied..

... so yes.. running is my reason (ie not with phone when running)... I would also use kid and dog if i had some.. 🙂

Am feeling much better now.. but it bugs me that she simply hasn't sent a text just to acknowledge my text.. or say.. yes ive sorting things now. Its more evidence if any were needed of her self-serving ways.. use and abuse where she can.. but not this time!

Yay!!!.........Good thinking Batman on the no phone when running ...wink wink..

Quite bizarre really that your Boss has'nt worked out that if your nice to people they will probably want to reciprocate back in kind....

ps....other reasons I used to use are dodgy signal as I live in the sticks...lol

Onwards and Upwards

R and D xx

Well exactly!!... chances are if i'd of had a boss who genuinely cared.. and treated folk respectfully at all times not just occasioanally cos she was in a good mood.. i would not have hesitated to have answered the phone. But in reality as soon as i saw who it was I phsyically recoiled and past memories of her behaviours towards me came rushing back. I thought.. nah.. not this time. As the saying goes..."what goes around, comes around".

Its just not easy thats all. I am not a vengeful sort of person. I don't want to get back at her in a vindictive way and yet tomorrow she may well get back at me in mealy minded sort of way.. though chances are nothing will be said as long as whatever happened has passed.

Ive been and got my energy gels and bits and bobs for my marathon. If i can get my fluids and nutrition right this time (and not have a hangover lol) I can beat my Pb for sure... 10 days to go. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Yo,

Do you know right know I just want to hug you , for being you .

In my company staff fill in a sheet stating if they want extra work , and when , other than that we can not contact them on there days off , management excluded

So wished you worked for me !!!

But I am a bit P***** off , to be honest that half of your day off was ruined by debating with yourself should I shouldn't I , and those blumming guilt feelings .

A member of my staff would come in the next day and say I really did not appreciate you ringing me on my day off , please do not do it again.

I understand you can not do this , I understand the presure you are under cause you care so much about your clients .

So my blood is boiling , over the disrespect you have once again been shown. People go above and beyond because we go above and beyond for them .

Anyway rant over , other than to say if she worked for me she would not last 2 minutes , as for you I would give you a job for a lifetime

Chin up I suppose

Shiny xxxxxx

good on ya SA...

This woman has no boundaries and is treating you like some family member blowing hot and cold....so you set the terms next time my friend .....set your own boundaries and if she has problem then tough toots,.

I know that in his kind of work a lot is goodwill and just becomes expected....You did good!

self protection...

hugs

R and D...

Keep on running and don't let this woman rent space in your head....she cant afford it..your toooo valuable.

xx

Thanks Dotty and Shiny.. and am pleased to say that the boss has not rented any space in my head space for the last 2 days. In fact work has been fine, relatively speaking and now its the long bank holiday weekend... so yipeeee!!

No gambling problems.. just the one gambling event this year.. onwards... S.A 🙂

...morning SA...

great stuff there about work ....now onto a good bank holiday weekend.

Not sure what your up to but im guessing some running will be in there somewhere.

striding onwards...

R and D xx

Hi dotty.. you make a good point. I spend long periods of time really not doing very much. When i plan and do something construtive.. that really is a very good acheivment for me. On Monday I have friends coming over for a roast.. ive kept them on ice for quite a while now.. but hopefully we will pick up where we left off.

Today I have made myself no plans as such.. other than writing on here, scrabble on facebook, bits of shopping and stuff... but I am tired.. so chilling is good. Its not all about doing doing doing is it?? or is it???

Am enjoying the moment.. I feel positive at this moment in time. Onwards... S.A 🙂

Hi SA

Glad to read you are going to apply for jobs. Don't worry if you don't grt one but the whole episode will be good for the soul. One will come along when the time is right for you. Hope you enjoy your roast.

Take care

Yo,

Thank you for your thoughts on my thread about compulsive behaviour , I have written back a reply on my thread ....

Good on you for applying for other jobs , you have nothing loose and plenty to gain , the way I see it .

As I have been writing on my thread my youngest works in a specialist care home , for people suffering mental illness , it's sort of a half way house between a hospital and sheltered accommodation. Some have been there 14 years , and it does challenge her every day , particularly in thinking about what she says before she speaks .

I wonder if a job like that would suit you , it would mean no driving , and Sam has to cook for 15 residence some days , but she loves the job .

Anyways , enjoy your weekend , and your roast dinner !

Shiny xxxxx

Thanks for your post s.a. I hope I can stick with it. Never easy but feeling good. Good luck with the job hunting, another thing that's never easy but I hope you can find a job where you have all satisfaction but without the stress and without the crazy boss. You deserve some luck on the job front. You've helped a lot of people I'm sure in your current and previous positions so hopefully you'll get a job know thats good for you.