Hope

The self-pity detector detected self-pity in this post.. and promptly removed the self-pity.

Thanks for your thoughts folks... S.A

Nowt wrong with a bit of self-pity SA!

As long as you don't wallow in it, I reckon its totally natural to get those feelings out on the surface and look at them. If after a couple of days you have not moved forward, then it is time to set off that alarm! lol

Feelings are just feelings. They don't define us. Any man who says he has never had some really unreasonable, irrational feelings I will call a liar.

I have had some crazy a** things running round my head at times!

Anyway, hope you enjoy your roast tomorrow - good sign, not withdrawing from people, and wanting to catch up, as I am sure you know : )

Take care,

f x

Thanks f.. 🙂

I keep thinking that at any moment am going to get focussed and do construtive and positive things... but no it hasn't happened. Ive just been idling away time, day dreaming and watching Tv.

Even going for a run the last couple of days has not released any pleasurable feelings.. its felt like a chore. Even when I went to the shops yesterday I couldn't remember why i went there.. ended up eating a whopper meal and came home. Burger meals are so frustrating cos ya end up still hungry even though ya just eaten a million calories.

I think am having a dose of "anhedonia"... the inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable, e.g. exercise, hobbies, or social interactions. Its like ive got my mates coming over in a bit and ive got to cook a roast and tidy up a bit.. and i really can't be arsed. Its just depression isn't it. It will pass.

No gambling problems. Just the one gambling event this year. Just need to make sure i don't set myself up for a fall. Thanks for listening.. S.A

10.10... Ok so ive washed up and wiped down the surfaces.. its a start.

10.15... Ive filled a black bag with rubbish and put it outside flat.

10.30... Put some clothes and bedding into wash. Cleaned toilet and bath and sink to a reasonable standard.

12.05... Roast preped... tis turkey and roast spuds (of course!) and mash and broccoli and carrots.

Hiya SA

just a flyer as i'm doing a few chores today....]

"This too shall pass" as they say and perhaps the fear of having visitors today is worse than the actual event?...

I think by tonight you will feel 100% better but I d know what you mean...you probably kinda feel invaded.

I think I also have anhedonia...no feel good highs over things that used to deliver....shopping and the high of a new relationship basically but seeing that as a good thing as maybe see things in a different perspective and calmer...x.

Im on my own a lot too by choice...i turn down social events as i cant "perform" anymore and because I've been such a live wire in the past...if i go along people start asking "whats up with you"...

Moving in with pals is going to force me out of this rut I know that..but we get comfortable in our ruts ..i think I can smell how stagnant my rut is now..like a decaying tooth thats been in my head too long and now definately needs to come out..lol

I think at the moment I like it because its manageable....the devil I know..Truthfully I worry that if i change again and bring my old pleasures in life back "be happy" I will start loosing my head and making bad choices in the adrenaline high that accompanies.

Not sure if that makes sense...

I shall let you know how extraction from my rut goes...with pliers

it will pass SA I promise and if you read some of your back post you will see that you do bounce back pretty quickly ..I think weekends are vulnerable times for many folk and it was a good idea to invite your pals round and break it up a bit...

I shall watch out for your post tomorrow as i think you will feel differently and maybe energised?....

hugs

R an D xxx

best news ever is no gambling problems..xxx

10.10..bite sized chunks......YAY!!

one visitor prep at a time my friend...xx

Bless you my cyber pal... x.. and hi to 4 legged friend as he ruffles fur coat.

SA,

you have inspired me with your bite-sized chunks! I have failed to start my day properly yet. I am still in pj's with smelly body, dirty hair and uncleaned teeth.

On with the first bite-sized chunk! (for me, this is having a poo and cleaning my teeth). Hope this didn't put you off your turkey : O

Take care,

f x

Hi SA

guessing your evening with pals is going well hun and roast has been..nom nom nommed down..lol

R and D xx

ps. Ewww...vision of f multitasking!!...lol

Hope you enjoyed your poo f ... lol 🙂

Yes much food eaten. Mate bought a film to watch. Forget what it was called now.. but it was quite good. Wholesome escapism.

When they went i polished off all the remaining food and then some crips and then some jam on toast.. felt bad and went running..nearly puked. Eating disorder.. on it goes lol

Work tomorrow...b*****ks... but such is life. Thanks for listening.. S.A

Yo,

Sounds like you might of enjoyed having your friends round and the come dine with me experience .

I've got my big night out Thursday , 12 of us . Dinner and a show . Already panicking what to wear , socialising is soooooo not my thing . But it was a challenge I set myself , I instigated this , so I will put my best foot forward and bloody well enjoy it .......

Anyways , being off today must be a short week for you ,which means you mo matter what happens , you've got at least 8 hrs , away from the boss from hell ....

You take care , try not to let the b******s get you down ...

Hugs

Shiny xxxxxx

As long as I made you's laugh ; )

I do them seperately you know.... : D

hey SA..

Just a clip clop ride by to say "howdy"....

(haybail drifts accross a dusty track )....all's quiet on the northwestern front...

R and D xxx

Howdy all.

I got to sit in the back of a police car today. No insurance on the vehicle!! I dunno how i did it.. but 5 mins later I was back driving the same vehicle. They were pre-pared to accept that it did have insurance but a clerical error ment that the vehicle had not been recorded as having insurance. And then when the copper went to write out a notice for me to produce the proof at a later time.. he found he'd run out of forms.. so off i toddled.

Now of course the question is... was i insured??... who knows. I wouldn't put it past the company to have not insured this vehicle by mistake or ommission or simply forgot to have renewed the policy or whatever and as part of some saving money exercise. I shall chase this up tomorrow.. its my blumin license on the line.. errrrrr!!!

One more day of the working week to go. No gambling problems. Onwards... S.A 🙂

Hiya SA...

Been pulled many times myself with this with company cars over the years and its normally when my company has switched insurance co"s for the reps cars to a cheaper deal...

The coppers kind of follow you for half a mile and it comes up on their database.

One time was over Xmas and coppers threatened to impound the car...!!

Don't worry your license won't be affected...xx

R and D xx

Thanks Dotty and yes it was pretty much what you said.

26.2 miles... Bring it on!!!!

No gambling.. thanks for listening... S.A 🙂