Hope

My life has always been a roller coaster ride even before gambling came along I when everything was going well in my life I would ruin it one way or another

In different ways and had to start again

I guess my life has never been normal it's like when everything was good in my life I had to ruin it this addiction must have loved me when I started gambling

I must have been one of its perfect S****** lol

Yes sabotage is a good word

I hope you have a better day today

Suzanne xx

S.A.

My thoughts are with you and I am deeply sorry to read that you gambled. However, you remain to be the one person that I have followed who has managed to go the longest time without placing a bet. You achieved a magnificent amount of time gambling free and that should not be forgotten.

Be disappointed, be sad, be upset and then get all those thoughts and feelings out of your system and get going again. Do the stuff that helps. Get the trainers on and get out on the road and run like a man possessed.

Best wishes.

Tomso.

Hi SA,

Sorry to hear of your blip....cos lets be honest thats all it was ...a blip. In womble language...we need blips...why...because if we didn't have blips we would be over confident...and we know where it ends if we get over confident hey!

I really feel your pain but you know that by writing your words down that you have something to look back upon. Take this as a "learning log"

No good having a slip if you don't learn from it.

Every faith in you fellah!

Womble xx

Morning S.A

Thanks for your post I have replied to you on my own thread by mistake

Just as well I rambled a bit

I hope you are feeling better today

And as I said in my post to you I am walking by your side slowly but surely

Suzanne xx

Hi there

I don't think there is anyone who does the type of work we do that doesn't get emotionally kicked in the b*****ks at sometime or another and uses whatever means the have to survive, be they good or destructive.

You have all the great memories of the past year, be they marathons, cycle rides at dawn, etc etc to buoy you up and onward into the future and all the people you have helped, me included, throughout that time to stand on the sidelines and cheer you on.

The sun has come up on another day so get out there and sunbathe, relax, draw strength, onwards and upwards as I have heard tell.

xxx

So sorry SA - sounds like you gave yourself a really big shock 🙁

I understand and respect your reasons for not having changed working roles yet, it does seem to be the most stressful factor in your life though. It's very hard to make a change in direction work-wise these days, however it does seem to be the recurrent factor in your lapses, along with the old plonk.

Never, ever judging mind you - I haven't changed all of what I need to either - but it's annoying but true that: nothing changes if nothing changes.

Wish there was something I could say to help. I have every faith that you can win the war, even if you don't win every battle. That was a really bad day, alongside 600+ good days. You've managed not to gamble 99.85% of days in the past 600 odd. Do take heart from this. I hope you can use the experience of the sheer force and strength of this addiction, as motivational in a way. I mean look what a powerful addiction you have successfully kept at bay, every single day, through good days and bad, for a very long time. That shows massive strength on your part.

You are among people who understand, here.

Lots of love and support,

f x

Hi SA,

So sorry to hear about the gambling creeping back out of the closet mate. Drinking to get drunk, I see that part of my personality too often too, and I still do that far too often. Surviving through the periods with no money at all, you know you've done that before, and you can do it again.

You've been on this horse for long enough, it hurts now, but if you let it ride roughshod over you for longer, you know it'll hurt more. This isn't a defeat, its just a knockdown, I know you can get back up and win this fight in the end.

Thoughts with you mate,

Ryan

Hi SA,

Echoing the others and wishing you strength and more positivity during this tough time. It will get easier, we both been there and we both know how we can take control back and hold on tight in this fight. Battling next to you, let's never give up giving up!

((((SA)))))

Take care bud x

Hope everything is OK. Thinking of you. It's not like you not to post much after a lapse, but then I think I remember you mentioned family were going to be visiting.

Take care,

f x

Hi all and thanks.

Yes Freda I am back from a family visit and feeling ok. Not sure what else to say to be honest. Feel like I need a bit of time away from this place. Am all out of words. There is nothing that I haven't said before at some point. I will be back am sure but for now my diary can gather a bit of dust.

Strength and resolve and peace of mind to all who read this. Life is not easy but life carry's on regardless. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

You know what is right for your own recovery, this isn't a new start or a snake down to the start of the game, its just another hurdle on the journey.

I'll be sending my positive thoughts your way friend, and you are right that life isn't easy but carries on however much we try and stop it.

Keep your guard tight, and when the gambling demon comes in pop it right in the eye.

All the best mate,

Ryan

Morning S.A,

Selfishly, I will be missing your posts but, can certainly understand you needing a break. I know the feeling of running out of words or feeling as if what I have to say has already been said. Blah blah blabbity blah.

Take care of yourself and like everybody else has been sayin, this isn't the end. You have come a very long way and have been under a tremendous amount of stress over your job. No, not making excuses but, reminding you and me that we are human...

I often wonder about our beginnings as humans. Did the angels come to earth and have their way with us? Why does it hurt so much sometimes, and why do I feel so trapped inside of this flesh? Do we have memories of what it was like to be able to fly?

Ha ha.. rambling on here S.A I guess I believe we are half human and half angel. None of us are perfect. Not a single one. (((((S)))))) -joanxxxx

Hi S.A

Understand you wanting a break hope it won't be for too long

Take care and stay strong

Suzanne xx

Hi SA,

I hope u r ok and I will also miss ur honest posts. U r an inspiration!

Take care xx

Know you are taking a break but just wanted you to know that it's never out of sight, out of mind and often wonder how you are.

Hopefully having a well deserved rest and enjoying the sunshine.

xxx