Hope

Sure was progress SA, I argue with myself when they sprout up out of nowhere, it's like I have two separate thoughts talking to each other lol,

Suzanne xxx

Yep thats true... the adult and the child.

I can be rediculously mature and responsible and yet I can also be a silly little boy.

and they are all part and parcel of me as a person and they live side by side.

I can nurture the child within but what I realise now is that he also needs parenting and to be told what he can and cannot do.

This might all sound daft... but it makes sense to me... and thats all that matters.

Have a great day Suzanne as i do the same... S.A 🙂

It makes total sense to me, had an argument with myself as soon as I opened my eyes this morning, lol, but I won the argument very quickly lol

X

Good man to keep on the straight and narrow...let me tell ya - f**k all out there on the other side lol ...

Dear oh dear....

Stay safe my friend..keep winning!...and running 😉

Hi SA,

Didn't see you sneaking round the corner here 🙂 thank you for your words. I know how it feels when everything seems to crash and all you want to do is hide. No more!! I am gonna post even if one word a day. This addiction can go and p*s*s up the wall on it's own cause my bladder is empty and im not joining "fun" anymore!

Sorry..ramble over 😉
I did around 600 metres of running today, feels d**n great lol (NOT!)

Later and stay safe (((((SA))))))

sorry to crow, but I did 15 miles today... thats 24160.16 metres! 😉

Like wise, stay safe.. S.A 🙂

That's all i needed to hear 🙂
I did 8miles yesterday,.. so pretty close ;-)....8miles 600 metres! Get me!!!! Lol

Later my friend x

Pleased to report that no gambling since last entry. Starting to feel pleased with my latest self-exclusions. I think I will keep some photos in back pocket so when and if I feel the urge to gamble somewhere I will self-exclude instead.

Just been chucking out old papers and correspondance for the paper recycling. Came across a bunch of stuff from years ago which basically said "S.A is resigning from his job because of his gambling addiction" and then another bunch of stuff from my Gp about my mental health due to gambling problems. The memories came flooding back.

How quickly I forget all the c**P that comes with gambling addiction. How quickly I forget the bad times.

I am reminded how profoundly my gambling has affected me for most of my adult life.

I need to keep in touch with the bad times as a deterrent from further gambling as i move forward.

No gambling today.

On a different note I had a nice day yesterday. Went out with my mate for food and chat. All very nice.

I feel another long run coming on today. Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Your posts raise a smile over here. So good to see you marching on and is it me or you sound in such better place with yourself, sense of peace is present in your words 🙂

Have a good run if you go for it. I shall set off for one tomorrow. Today is just riding the exhaustion out after last few shifts and no sleep...so energy is close to zero...but hey, tomorrow is another day!

Stay safe, sound and calm

Sandra x

Thanks Sandra.

I am in a relatively better place simply because I haven't gambled for 6 weeks. Am thankful for getting through half-term without wasting several hundred pounds on the machines. When I went back to work after the exmas break I was up to the edge of my over draft but now I will be going back to work still with money in my account. Hopefully this will make my first day back a little less fraught with anxiety and stress.

Am well tired today but still up early even when i wanted a lie in.

Ive over done the running this week.. 3 runs of 13 then 15 then 14 miles. Three long runs in the space of 6 days is good but not good really, cos am a bit f****d now. Hopefully as i recover I will have banked some more physical and mental endurance for a marathon later in the year.

and so life goes on.....

Thanks for listening... S.A

Hi SA,

Well done on 6 weeks and it's so true that fog start lifting the further we move in recovery. It is worth riding first weeks out and dealing with consequences even if a little raw...time heals and the only way is upwards!

Wow..some impressive miles you did just there . I guess you feel knackered and am reading in awe how can you still stand on your feet! Don't forget that balance is needed, keeping fit, getting ready for the marathon, plenty of food and sleep needs to be lined up in order to feel better with yourself and reach for your goals. Sounds challenging and it surely is. Don't forget to look after no 1. YOU my friend.

have a good day and keep choosing NO!

Sandra x

Hi SA,

Well done on 6 weeks of winning.

Stay strong and safe.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks all... and pleased to report that no gambling since my last entry.

Am on a bit of a high. Ive just finished a 5 mile road race. 41 minutes and 10 seconds. Not bad for a middle aged chap.

No thoughts of gambling. Back to work tomorrow, thankfully not on the back of a gambling loss.

Onwards... S.A 🙂

Well done on the six weeks without gambling mate, glad you got yourself through half term, and that you can go back to work a bit more refreshed than after the Christmas holidays.

Nothing wrong with that time over five miles, better than I could do without doubt! How were the conditions, its been thumping down with rain all morning in Wales, which is pretty much standard I guess.

Keep on that right track!

Ryan

Great work on the six weeks & awesome run - especially on top of the high mileage you've been putting in this week 🙂

Keep strong - ODAAT