Hope

"this is me trying to work recovery and not just abstain"....bravo! And thank you. That sentence really connected with me. The whole 48 hours thing makes so much sense.

You did so well to message your colleague. I doubt that it was an easy thing to do, but you did it and what a great reply. You really seem to be moving along nicely now. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

LifeBegins x

Day 108 gambling free.

Thank you both.

Am not sure am moving along nicely, am feeling quite depressed and paranoid, BUT am not gambling and I have no urge to gamble as i type.

Am almost ready to start cleaning and tidying. My slovenly habits have returned with avengence this last few weeks. I also want to go out for a run today. Am starting to lose the habit and its not a good habit to lose, cos its always had a positive effect on my well being.

Thanks for listening... S.A

Oh S.A. have a run for me while you're out please...I may have let Coo Coo talk me into a Moon Walk & I don't want her dragging me by my feet (her preferred method) for the best part of it because I haven't got any good miles in beforehand!

Always listening - ODAAT

Well yes thanks folks.

I did do a bit of claening and tidying and I did go for a 5 mile run and feel much better for it.

I also bought my mum some flowers for her birthday, something which I would not have been able to do if i'd gambled all my money away!

So all in all its been a getting better day. Ive finally recovered from the world of work.

Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Hey SA, thanks for your thoughts and yea you are right, acceptance of recovery:)) which we are striving for, nothing wrong with work in progress:))

Your Mum will have been chuffed to bits with those flowers, I always am when I get them :))) (just think what are they after lol only joking) :))

You are nicely walking on the right side of the road now, Enjoy it.

Suzanne xxx

Day 110 gamble free

Thanks Suzanne 🙂

Am gradually navigating my way through the exams period without any f**k ups. Had a few beers locally with my neighbour yesterday. A slight temptation to go off into the city for a "mad one" after, which in reality is a covert urge to gamble, but i didn't. I came home watch a bit of telly and went to bed.

A big chunk of christmas present buying done today. Spent more than i planned which is again a warning sign, cos my gambling head says that I can win it back. But again am well and trully done with that particualr nightmare, no gambling for me. Ive just come home and I have no plans to go out again.

Onwards and forwards... gambling free!!

Thanks for listening... S.A 🙂

Day 112 gambling free.

Thanks Gt... your so right in what you say.

I continue to slowly navigate my way through the christmas period. It feels as if every moment and every micro-decision I make has an impact on my addictive mind. Today is not an easy day. Its an eclectic mix of depression, boredom, indecisiveness, exmas shopping and wrapping but also moments of peace and enjoying the wind and rain and being in touch with the real world and my real feelings whatever they might be moment to moment. The urge for instant gratification and to escape is present but am able to rise above it. Working recovery. No gambling for me today.

Thanks for listening... S.A

P.s Apologies to the person that was to receive that box chocolates but due to circumstances beyond my control I have eaten them. 😉

Hi SA,

Keep navigating through those tough patches in life. We seem to come to other side no matter how hard it seems at the time.

You are doing well man, yea you are ☺ keep on keeping on!

I wish you merry Xmas...and i do forgive ya for eating the chocolates which meant to drop on my doormat 😉

Be good, stay safe, keep believing & smiling ☺

S x

Woohoo...I had my fingers crossed that they weren't my ones 😉

Err, it was just the one box that fell victim to those circumstance right :-0

Scrooge McSandra has been spreading suggestions that I may be present less too :-0

Errrr...no worries SA...just look what a carnage ya created here :-0... over some sweets :-)))))))))

ODAAT will be fine i assure you, and ya still have some time to post next lot through! Home address being send over while i type ;-)))))

Merry Xmas - keep on running dear friend ☺

Have a lovely Xmas dear SA, it's lovely to see you staying safe and sound.

Suzanne xxx

Hi SA, just popping through, hope you have had a good Xmas.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks folks. 🙂

Pleased to report that not a penny gambled on any form of gambling in the last 119 days. I have had a few thoughts but I haven't acted on them, barriers still in place.

Christmas passed off fine. Good to spend time with my family, ate lots, drank quite alot but also got out and did some running. Nice to be home now though to my own bed and to no real or "perceived" demands to do anything. In truth, other than "showing up" and bringing some exmas presents I don't have any demands put on me when I visited my family... they are lovely, its all in my head. Its still mentally tiring though... do you know what I mean??

Its like the little things: sleeping in a different bed, staying up later than i'd normally stay up, trying to make conversation but struggling to do so and not really wanting to, not knowing what to do in quiet moments, tip toeing around other peoples moods, habits and routines, having to put clothes on when going to bathroom lol...o and wash, shave and generally not look like a complete tramp. It all kind of reminds me of how idle its possible to become when ya live on ya own.

Anyway am home. Pig in muck.

No gambling for me.

Thanks for listening... S.A

SAAAA lol,

Just one thing to say lol, you mucky mucky pig :))))

Suzanne xxx