Hope

Another day dawns gambling free but am feeling a bit P***** off.. need to vent!

The physio attached to my surgery left a voice mail message saying that my x-ray results were in.. come to the surgery to get them. So I goes up this morning and says to the receptionist.. your physio has rung to say my x-ray results are in and receptionist says.. well I don't know anything about that.. and i says (politely).. how do I find out the results of my x-ray and she says ..well theres nothing here and she starts getting shirty with me as if...how dare i come to the surgery asking for x-ray results.

Anyway she eventually goes off to look through a tray and comes back with a card.. and gives it to me, without saying what it is. I am feeling a bit wound up by this point and I glance over at it and it looks like an appouintment card and I says.. well ive already had the x-ray im just here to get the results and she says do you want the doctor to ring you and i says ok then.. so I await the doctors call.

However it dawns on me that what i may have been looking at was the results card rather than the appointment card.. but i was so wound up by the sheer rudeness of this women that i wanst able to focus on what i was looking at. And then she says well you dont need this and promptly disposes of it.

I was never at any point rude to her.. I am a polite chap.. I am the patient. Arent reception staff in surgeries supposed to have people skills??? All I wanted to know was the result of my x-ray that i had been contacted about and asked to come in or at the very least to know what the procedure is so that i can know the result. Its not rocket science!! Agggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Ok its over moan over. I guess it will resolve itself when it resolves itself. Time to munch on a pain killer lol The NHS exists for that i am trully grateful... other countries dont have a health service.. so hey i will cope. Its just a break down of communication really.. just a bit frustrating for me though.

Went to Ga last night.. quite a good meeting.. it had a positive effect on me.. so no grumbles about Ga today. A few beers after which was nice.

Time to chill out now.. await the docs call.. whether it comes or not. I go for a swim later. No thoughts or urges to gamble.. which is always positive. In the past an event like today would have triggered the f*** it head. I'd of gone off to block my anger out with some machine feeding.. not any more. I don't do that now. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

The doctor has just rung... "no significant abnormality" ... am happy 🙂

Hi SA, Thank you for your post. All remains well this neck of the woods. John is continuing to work his recovery and honesty is the order of the day. Phew!!!

You do make me smile when I read your posts. They are honest and insightful. they are also very positive. I'm so pleased you are now nearly 18 months non gambling, you realy work your recovery so well. A real inspiration to all who read your diary. Very pleased to hear 'there are no significant abnormalailities, ' unlike my spelling! Take care SA, Oh, pass your cyber plate, there is home made chicken and vegetable soup on its way to you! YOU are in charge of your destiny SA. Love Ostrich xx

Hi S.A,

Glad the news from the docs was good in the end, as far as.....reception staff in surgeries i deal with them on an almost daily basis and i know they put up with some s**t but 90% seem to be rude,arrogant a******s, they must train them that way, some think they are the doctor i have even experienced they giving out a diagnosis and prescription. They must have a breeding school for them.

Happy to see otherwise things for you are good and gamble free, I'm pleased to report I'm feeling more positive, and will be taking a back seat and posting less just feel the time is right, but i will be around...:-)

have a good week, well nearly weekend now.

regards.

green x

Thanks to you both for dropping in with your thoughts, and ostrich some home made soup sounds loverly. I was lazy this evening.. pasta in saucepan.. bubble.. add tin of tomatoes.. bubble.. stock cube.. bubble... eat! lol .. hey it fills a gap.

Things fine with me today.. ive been trying out some exercises for shin splint injuries.. maybe it will help.. going to try and make them a habit. No gambling urges or thoughts. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂

Hi SA

Thanks for popping in on my diary, your right great film! Toilet scene funny as f***, all that effort for a pill lol!

Your cooking comment made me smile, glad things are ok with you, hope your excercises help!

Even if i dont get this job i will not resort back to bad behaviour, ie gambling..Im working on myself at the mo and my goal is to be the very best i can be for my sons and provide them a quality life, and make sure there happy.

Take care mate, ands

ps, would tell the joke but might offend, lol!

Hi SA,

Was nodding along with you on the doctors surgery thing. They often talk to me like im a naughty schoolgirl at mine. I think they must have very stressful jobs with the phone constantly going, and all the data protection issues blah blah blah - but Im 100% with you. Its no excuse to talk to people rudely.

Im talking this sort of thing through at the moment in counselling. I get angry very quickly when Im spoken to rudely. I dont think anyone likes it, but Im aware with me that Im very defensive and sometimes give attitude back. Im very quick to tell the other person off, and put them back in their place. Its not constructive, and is a major cause of stress for me. People don't tend to respond well to it! I will let you know if I figure out the answer, lol.

Thank you sincerely for the post on my diary. You seem to understand very well what Im going through. Your posts are always helpful to me.

Hope your quest for romance goes well 🙂 I agree it certainly helps with the need to escape to gamblerville, if you are less lonely in general. For me, its been lonelier since R moved out temporarily. No coincidence then, that the odd few slips have co-incided with this.

Anyway, sorry ive rambled on quite a bit on your thread there!

Take care,

f x

Hi SA

Just wanted to pop in and say hi, hope you are ok and have a good gamble free weekend!

I seem to be on a posting frenzy today, lol!

Hope those excercises on your leg are helping. take care, ands

Thanks guys and gals for your comments.. much appreciated as always.

Day 544 gambling free.

This diary has no gambling in it thanks to having worked my recovery one day at a time.

However I am going to stop writing in this diary now... it feels a bit to long. I feel a little trapped by it.

I am still around and will start a new diary with a new feel to it when the moment feels right.

Thanks to each and everyone of you for the support you have given me over the last 18 months of this diary...

Keep safe everyone... S.A 🙂

Morning SA,

Congratulations on your gambling free time and wanted to say that your story is an inspiration to me and doubtless many others on this site. Your support to many on here is invaluable, so would be nice to have you around in whatever manner you feel is appropriate.

Your diary is an amazing read for anybody trying to come to terms with a gambling problem as long as they have 2-3 days spare to read it.

Genuine regards to you in your continued recovery.

Take care,

DT.

Hi SA

I fully understand why you would feel its time to finish your diary...infact im going to do the same as from now. No other reason than i know what is needed to totally give up gambling, whether i can do it is another thing. All the best mate, and thanks for your support.

neil

Hi SA

Just to say thank you for all your support and advice, hope very much that the future is good for you mate.....

Take care and thanks again.....ands

ps, you are the odaat king!

I have to admit I never caught up on it yet SA! lol

You are a star and a half, look forward to reading SA: the new frontier!

Take care of yourself, you big lovelyhead

f x

Hi SA,

Thanks for your comments on my diary, I am not as prolific at writing as you are but I wish you well on your journey. We need to keep the message of recovery from this illness so that others will get hope.

Take care,

Pad

Hi S.A,

Just a note of thanks for all the support you have given to me along my journey, it's great to see you moving on to a new chapter, and a new diary. Sometimes the old things need a clear out to allow us to progress forward.

I'm sure many will agree your journey and the support you have offered has been an inspiration and invaluable at times.

And would just like to say a huge thank you from me, and wish you all the best.

look forward to catching your new dairy in the near future.

green x

Geee I feel like a right indecisive t*t. Ive changed my mind.. again! Sorry everybody.. youv'e all wished me well and now am gonna open up this diary again...

... It was something that Charly wrote in her diary. I hope you don't mind if I repeat your words Charly but it kind of says what I feel...

"I can't get myself to start a new diary, because this one has been my companion for so long and it holds all of my changes, all of my achievements, all of my ups and downs and all the help and support of people like you guys who read the diaries now.

To discard it would be like discarding my friends and me."

Thats it in a nut shell. Thanks Charly.

Anyway am back.. rather sheepishly I have re-joined the fold with this my first and only Gamcare diary.

I remain gambling free and intend to keep it that way one day at a time. Regards to all who read this... S.A 🙂