Day 28
Spent the day being challenged by suppliers until the home time bell rang.
Proud of myself this afternoon as drove to get little dude and on the way needed a pit stop. Last time I put stop I put in a considerable amount so was good leaving knowing I didn’t spend anything.
As I walked past I could see people on the machines. One guy playing two and one guy playing another. I thought as I walked past about not only the money lost but also the hours wasted. As I walked back I smiled and thought you guys may be needing help soon.
The drive took 5 1/2 hours so now exhausted.
CJ.
CJ. wrote:
Day 28
Spent the day being challenged by suppliers until the home time bell rang.
Proud of myself this afternoon as drove to get little dude and on the way needed a pit stop. Last time I put stop I put in a considerable amount so was good leaving knowing I didn’t spend anything.
As I walked past I could see people on the machines. One guy playing two and one guy playing another. I thought as I walked past about not only the money lost but also the hours wasted. As I walked back I smiled and thought you guys may be needing help soon.
The drive took 5 1/2 hours so now exhausted.
CJ.
Proud of you!
Have you got your mini-cj all weekend or for a week? Have fun and keep smiling.
Goodnight.
Bella xx
Heya Bella,
Thanks for your comment. You made my frown turn upside down. 🙂 lame I know haha
Yeah mini CJ is with me all weekend. He cheers me up and makes me laugh with his comments. 🙂
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Day 29
Mini CJ and i have had a fun day today playing trivial pursuit with Mum and going out for Chinese for lunch. He then wanted to go and do some pokemonning so we did some of that also.
My brain today struggled with things however. I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. I laughed and joked throughout the day but felt it was a rough day inside my head. Not anything gambling related just life in general. Not my usual positive self whether it was tiredness or just stressed out I don’t know.
Oh well tomorrow is another day and it takes me to my first goal. Day 30.
Day 30 bud! A month ago it felt like a year away. Stay strong. Keep the faith.
CJ. wrote:
Heya Bella,
Thanks for your comment. You made my frown turn upside down. 🙂 lame I know haha
Yeah mini CJ is with me all weekend. He cheers me up and makes me laugh with his comments. 🙂
——
Day 29
Mini CJ and i have had a fun day today playing trivial pursuit with Mum and going out for Chinese for lunch. He then wanted to go and do some pokemonning so we did some of that also.
My brain today struggled with things however. I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. I laughed and joked throughout the day but felt it was a rough day inside my head. Not anything gambling related just life in general. Not my usual positive self whether it was tiredness or just stressed out I don’t know.
Oh well tomorrow is another day and it takes me to my first goal. Day 30.
Aww overworked, shattered, excitement of seeing your mini-CJ and maybe the drive. Can be a multiple of things. Glad I turned the frown upside down.
Find the good things in your day, smiles and eye contact, take lots of photos. Safe driving when you take the dude home.
Speak soon, keep smiling.
Bella xx
Happy 30th.. I am on day 140.
Had a lot of frowns and stresses myself lately. Funny how this site I feel kind of normal. Where social media I just don't fit in anymore.
Goodnight huni.
Bella xx
Change wrote:
Day 30 bud! A month ago it felt like a year away. Stay strong. Keep the faith.
Boom. We made it. My phone beeped to say 30 days have been done GF and mini-CJs laughing face popped up to remind me. I’ve also completed my first £46.50 after completing 30 days. Onto then next 30 days.
Let’s keep on going @Change we can do this and slay the demons.
I kinda wanted to put dragons then instead of demons when I wrote slay, as I had an image of me dressed as a knight back in the medieval times with fire breathing gambling dragons.
ChasingRainbows wrote: Happy 30th.. I am on day 140. Had a lot of frowns and stresses myself lately. Funny how this site I feel kind of normal. Where social media I just don't fit in anymore. Goodnight huni. Bella xx
Yep I guess you are right. I’ve tried to stay positive for the past 30 days and drive forward. I guess I neglected myself and haven’t been sleeping as much as my body has needed.
We all have good days and bad days. Over the last 30 days I can honestly say I have had more great days than i had all last year so that’s a bonus. On to another 30 days.
I work in IT and strangely have no social media. I’m invisible.
A bit like how I felt I became when I played FOTBs in the bookies.
I have achieved a lot in 30 days as a person, as me developing and my understanding of my addiction. Some of the stories bring the stark realisation of where we could end up if we carry on.
I guess you feel normal here as everyone is in the same boat just a different part of the river or ocean. Some sink some get water in and need buckets to throw it out and others casually float by. You can also talk about your addiction or bad day without feeling like someone will criticise or say oh here she goes again.
I guess on social media everyone is self centred and very much oh look at me. I just bought this or on / got back from holiday x.
today I was walking with mini cj and noticed a lass sat on her phone. As I walked past I noticed she was spinning a fruit machine on her phone.
I wonder how big this addiction really is in the world. I’d hazard a guess that 1 in 4 people are addicted. You can do it in a bookmakers or you can now do it anywhere. In silence at home. Hmmmmm one for me to research I think.
I feel much better just listening to music and unwinding. Plus seeing your messages along with @Change.
thank you.
CJ
CJ. wrote:
[quote=ChasingRainbows]Happy 30th.. I am on day 140. Had a lot of frowns and stresses myself lately. Funny how this site I feel kind of normal. Where social media I just don't fit in anymore. Goodnight huni. Bella xx
Yep I guess you are right. I’ve tried to stay positive for the past 30 days and drive forward. I guess I neglected myself and haven’t been sleeping as much as my body has needed.
We all have good days and bad days. Over the last 30 days I can honestly say I have had more great days than i had all last year so that’s a bonus. On to another 30 days.
I work in IT and strangely have no social media. I’m invisible.
A bit like how I felt I became when I played FOTBs in the bookies.
I have achieved a lot in 30 days as a person, as me developing and my understanding of my addiction. Some of the stories bring the stark realisation of where we could end up if we carry on.
I guess you feel normal here as everyone is in the same boat just a different part of the river or ocean. Some sink some get water in and need buckets to throw it out and others casually float by. You can also talk about your addiction or bad day without feeling like someone will criticise or say oh here she goes again.
I guess on social media everyone is self centred and very much oh look at me. I just bought this or on / got back from holiday x.
today I was walking with mini cj and noticed a lass sat on her phone. As I walked past I noticed she was spinning a fruit machine on her phone.
I wonder how big this addiction really is in the world. I’d hazard a guess that 1 in 4 people are addicted. You can do it in a bookmakers or you can now do it anywhere. In silence at home. Hmmmmm one for me to research I think.
I feel much better just listening to music and unwinding. Plus seeing your messages along with @Change.
thank you.
CJ
C.J that was a really nice message, thank you. Likewise.
I think this gambling is a little like zombie apocalypse. Its like the slaying of dragons but in a digital manner. I remember going to a lake in Hollingworth and there is a arcade next to a ice cream parlour and I was dating this lad. And his job was traveling around the country fixing the arcade fruit machines and it must have been approximately 18 yrs ago and he told me one day it will be digital. And I didn't believe him. Even back then playing pennies made me nervous on those fruit machines were addictive. But digital I think on all seriously 10 years it got under people's skin. But have noticed in the last 5 yrs its on TV its adverts all on social media, its everywhere. Its a disgrace. I wonder C.J. If its more 1 in 4 aren't addicted to some form of gambling?
You have done amazing in 30 days just think how you will feel when it gets to 365 days! How much will you have saved then?
Goodnight its 2.44am.
If you take MiniCJ home Sunday drive carefully.
Bella xx
30 days pal. Thanks for all your support!
Yeah we made it to 30 days and that’s a great milestone. I have started another 30 day count down.
Well done on 31 days, that's a whole paycycle!
@Bella: I am not sure. I just get this feeling that a lot of people hide on their phones gambling escaping issues or trying to chase the wins from their losses. Maybe i am wrong, but I think with the ease of the internet and how easy it was for me to sign up, i think a lot more than we think do it.
So based on the savings option i have started, it works out at that after 30 days it is £46.50. After 365 days it should work out at £560 or there abouts. I know it isn't much, but the idea is to just watch it grow instead of watching my bank balance sit negative due to the gambling in the past.
@Change sterling job my friend. 30 days, now 31. Well done and no problem with the support.
@Reedemed, thanks very much. It is a paycycle and i feel i am doing ok 🙂
Day 30
I didn't post this last night however it was a strange day yesterday. Weather was very bizarre where it was cold, yet sunny, then hailed, then rained, then sunny, then hailed then rained, then hailed again and went bitterly cold as the night came about.
As a treat to myself, my girlfriend and i decided to by the Odeon Limitless cards so we can go the cinema as much as we fancy. So far Day 1 of the Cinema pass, i have seen How to Train your Dragon 3, with Mini CJ and then Captain Marvel on the way home from dropping him off.
Other than that I played a little bit of an old school classic on my Switch called Tetris. Such an awesome game.
I also managed to complete my first goal. 30 days ago i set myself a goal of 30 days to be Gamble Free. I watched day by day a face of MiniCJ when he had ice skated and it reminded me of the positive memories i had in my life so far.
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Day 31
Another crazy day in work today with lots going on. I was supposed to be on annual leave for the next four days, however i decided to cancel them so i could finish some of the projects i have to complete before the end of the financial year.
I sat and did a little bit of pondering in the car on the way from site to site.
I feel i have learnt a lot about myself and what motivates me to stay positive. Helping others i think is the key. Learning about others and their issues helps me. I have found this site a sanctuary and it has helped me not only crack 30 days, now 31, but also relfect how bad gambling can really be in society and our little world. At the time of me joining here, i had lost to me a consierable amount of money that day and had to stop. I didn't feel alone. I felt like i was a part of something and i think that has helped me move forward.
I’d say I’ve felt every emotion reading the posts throughout this wonderful place, from happiness and a feeling of success, to tears as I read some stories people have posted and talked about with their addiction.
So a whole month has now been completed and I am getting there. I won't say every day has been postiive because that wouldnt be true, but i can say that i have had more great days than bad days, making memories that make me chuckle when i think back.
For those of you who have helped me with my journey so far and been a part of it, thank you. I appreciate it.
Onto another 30 days.
Well done cj a successful 30 days
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