It has started bad so can only improve. Day 0. Gamstop expired as I only excluded for 6 months. I think that says everything. I was not committed at all. Stupid. re-excluded for 5 years. Downloaded Allen Carr’s audiobook. Can’t talk too much right now. So incredibly disappointed. Had horrible thoughts all day. Need to post more often.
Day 1. Got up early and took my son to his first toddler footy lesson. Done some bits around the house after that... fixed a new lamp together, re-wired another lamp and put some handles into a cabinet I made. Been listening to divine comedy national express, rag n bone man giant and freya tidings lost without you. Fish finger sandwich now as I’m hank marvin... haven’t eaten all day. Always happens after a relapse. Normally don’t want to wake up in the morning. Cant gamble if asleep. Still very irritable.
Day 1 nearly done. Walked about a marathon to clear my mind. It’s tough.
Day 2 starting. Mental torment is tough to deal with. No got a desire to gambling but have a desire to torment myself about my past actions.
Been for another walk this morning to clear my head. Got back home and started cleaning walls ready to paint them next week. Split the whole bucket of water on the floor. Can’t catch a break.
Pleased to see you back giving it another go bud. Can’t see the point in signing up for 6 months, it’s a lifetime thing so good you’ve now done the maximum.
Keep distracting yourself with these little jobs you keep finding the less spare time you have the better.
Great see your lad going to his first football training the great ti hear especially after all the worry and sleepless nights you ent through
KTF
Thanks Oldham... means a lot. Keep the faith!
Day 2 coming to a close. Done a few more positive things today. Slowly coming round. Long way to go.
Birdy - Keeping Your Head Up
“Hold tight you’re slowly coming back to life...”
Start of Day 3. Just done my hour commute to work. Listened to a few addiction podcasts. Settling down to a day of emails and calculations which should hopefully keep the mind busy. Fancy going straight to bed when I get home. Maybe cold turkey of early bed for first 30 days is a good option?
Hi change
Well done in downloading Allen Carr book, for me it was a game changer.
Next time you get tempted to gamble, remember this horrible, gut wrenching, zombie state you are in and ask yourself, do I really want to do this gambling lark.
Good luck.
Shaun
Thanks Shaun.
Bulk of Day 3 is done. I’ve worked hard today. Lot of mental thought required to deal with some complex issues. Feel tired. I’ve spoken to a couple of my close mates about my recent relapse... I never did that with other relapses as I didn’t want them to think less of me. Not too concerned about that now. All been really supportive.
Back home now. Probably go for another walk tonight and listen to the Allen Carr audiobook. Trying my best to beat this and dedicate time to recovery.
well done change, great start, all oyu need is determination and a new mindset, along with finding that new thing to fill the void that gambling once filled. Godd luck in finding that. adam
Thanks Adam... half a year gamble free! Well done! That’s inspirational stuff for me. Proud of you pal.
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