I felt it coming back like a horror film mist

I know that feeling over and over again.. we all chase our losses like a 3 legged horse chasing a ferrari.. deep down I know its lost, but that switch in my brain just will not listen to reason. 

Don't play it, think of it as you are just giving the mathematical betting system their money where odds are in their favor. That's what gambling is, a volatile roller-coaster drug that can send you bankrupt.

You were bored in bed and thinking of using this drug. The dopamine and adrenaline is what you craved but you can get that from other healthy safer addictions such as using the money to actually go ride an actual roller-coaster if you want or go bungee jumping maybe? travel the world, meet the unknown, new experiences, new places. 

Hi Mikee.

Yes you will feel it coming and the addiction will play with you while finding any chinks in your armour. Its not a stupidity issue as its a craving based on drug addiction.

You need to talk through every feeling that led up to it and explain the gambling session in detail to a non gambler preferably thats close to you.

you cant honestly tell anyone that you thought it was an earner or even about the money. Nobody is actually offering you an earner on those odds. They want your money and all the risk is really with you.

Therefore you have to use this to get to the bottom of why you do it and how you had a wide open door to gamble. The answers why you do it are actually more obvious than you think...it takes some soul searching and being honest about who you are and how you feel about life.

Personally I thought I was semi ok but I was actually deeply depressed about life and very empty inside. The feeling of loneliness and a lack of purpose was my main issue. I supressed that and my distraction drug of choice was gambling

I will tell you that with access to gamble there is a strong possibility that you will relapse again.

You need to use this to face the truth. The truth is refreshing when you are ready to heal properly. When I told people I was lonely it helped set me free

I see gambling clearly now as pain and misery...certainly giving my money to them so why would i do it. Ive healed well but I am never complacent...thats the key...... never complacent again for the rest of my life

Best wishes from everyone on the forum

Hi there 

thank you for the reply.  Apologies I haven’t felt like even coming on here as I felt ashamed of my self all weekend.  I really feel that I let myself down.

you right about the chinks in the armour.  I’m going to take your advice and really sit down in a quiet room with out distraction and work out why I did what I did.

again the support on here where you come all the times or not is superb. 

I think I’m going g to come into the chats online because I feel I need a hand hold over the next few days 

thanks Mike 

We sure do yet we still keep doing it?11 months I thought I had won, perhaps that’s the problem I will never be able to think that. 

You right so right .

im going to take your advice and start golf back again occupy my self I’m other activities 

I lost because I thought I’d win it’s so obvious now 

I’d got complacent and not given the respect the disease needs