I wish there was a pill you could take to stop this terrible illness/addiction

Hi Anon hun thanks for post. New jobs not great tbh lol think I made a mistake but hey ho it pays bills. I wasn't told the whole truth about what was required etc but it's a job. I'm doing an accounts course in April next year so hopefully will get better type of job one day. Knitting not going either lol been too busy and have family problems:( still gf though! And despite everything I'm loving life gf. Your doing great hun your days blimey there really adding up! Yes we will start next year gf and finish it gf. Proud of you Anon your inspiration to me too take care Lu xx

.Hi and day 71 almost over and I'm still gf and will remain so. Busy and long day at work and all the healthy eating has gone out of the window. It's the time of the year when every one brings in goodies such as chocolates, stolen, mince pies, biscuits etc., I'm trying to kid myself that the large piece of dark chocolate and raspberry bits in could be classed as part of my 5 a Day! Thankfully the urge for a ciggy is getting less as that was worse then the urge to gamble. On a serious note let's recap on what's changed in my life or the things I'm starting to notice. My one grandchild is 2 years and 6 months old, it wasn't until Sunday out for a meal that I looked at him and thought o*g I cannot remember when he took his first steps, when he said his first words, what kiddies tv he loves to watch, how grown up he looks and the reason isn't because I've got any kind of dementia it's because since he was born and before that I was gripped by the deadly gambling addiction that turns you into a selfish person who cannot see anything through the fog. The realisation of things like this makes me sad now, I know I carnt change the past but I can the future and I will with every ounce of strength and will power I have . My cousin is holding on for dear life for the last xmas, I've set up a direct debit of 5.00 per month for a hospice charity , it's not a lot but as the saying goes every little helps. Part of my healing process is to do something nice for other people and the little things I'm doing are helping me. I'm starting to get my sense of humour back. So Mr G you may have had lots of money off me in the past, my time, my sole, everything basically but never again will you rob me of my family time or my hard earned cash. Best wishes x

Pink poo...o*g :-0 Hubby sent me a photo of a little black bottom sticking out of an empty 15kg food bag the other day & there was me thinking he was scared of the dark (the mutt not the hubby)! He hasn't tried pot pourri, to be fair, there is a distinct lack of it in the house but I can vouch that he's none too keen on horseradish (lmao)...I told him to get out of the dishwasher!

And what do you mean trying to kid yourself that it's part of your 5 a day...In my office, if something has milk in it then it counts because let's face it, cows eat grass! Equally, cocoa bean, tick, peanuts are 2 (pea & nuts) & you should see all the lovely fruit in Jaffa cakes 🙂

Just realised that you have the serenity prayer as your Avatar...Never a truer word spoken! There's a reason the 'fellowship' have it as their mantra! No point regretting the things we could have changed but didn't, all we can do is make sure we learn from our mistakes & never let the fog consume us again! Wishing you & your loved ones every strength especially your dear cousin & yes every little does help - ODAAT

Hi Anon , Thank's for your post last night :)) All's good thank you but all the stuff with the kid's just made me feel alittle deflated if I'm honest but it's something I'll have to get used to in the role of a foster parent ( 55 and still learning eh ) :)).

I'm really glad to see you doing so well and all the positivity shining through in your posts :)) . I wondered what I'd missed seeing the " Pink pooh " comment but soon worked it out thankfully , My dog once ate the remains of a catering tube of sausage meat complete with plastic wrapper , so the next time she " Went " I didn't need a P**P bag as it was ready wrapped ( how thoughfull ) !!.

Anyway I'll leave you in peace now but keep up the good work around the forum as it's much appreciated by all :))

Alan xx

Hi anon you're not to far behind yourself. I know someone who makes a cracking cake. I'll ask him for the recipe :+)
Have a great week x

Blimey I missed yesterday so today is day 73 and I remain gf and will continue to be. What a hectic week I have had and the next two weeks are going to be the same. So near to xmas and still have lots to do but I've now started to wrap the presents up which is a job I hate. I only have a couple of days off at xmas, I'm working and on call but it's fine still have plenty of family time and the family get together on the 30th as I'm working on the 31st. To be honest I'm looking forward to saying bye bye 2016 and bring it on 2017 as it will be a new year which will not be tainted by mr g. I'm going to have a catch up with friends on here so bye for now x

Day 74 and today is going to be another gf day but o*g I don't feel well. What's happened in the night, my body has been taken over, feels like some little people having been using my tonsils as a punch bag, my head feels like it has people in their playing the drums really loudly, my legs feels feel like they have lead running through them...... you guessed it I have the start of a cold . I'm going to have to doze myself up with pills and potions and carry on like a brave soldier as there is so much to do. Yes I'm rambling about nothing but it's nice that I'm not getting up consumed with guilt and dread at how much money I may have lost last night if I had been gambling, how was I going to go out today to to do some shopping, what lie was I going to use to borrow money from my dear mother. How was I going to find the 30.00 per week to put petrol in my car those are thoughts of someone in the throws of addiction my thoughts now are of someone starting to feel normal (in my recovery). Yes I still have the debts but I think of them less as they are going down and not up so that's another positive. To anyone on here starting at day one or in the early few days please don't give in to mr g because it does get easier and you will feel better in so many ways. Going to,have to get on now but best wishes to all. X

Morning anon.
No I'm not leaving I was just talking to Alan about how sometimes I think about leaving when I feel down I guess.

Did you not know that charity cake has zero calories?

I know your a bit ill today so treat yourself to some orange chip's pure comfort food right there.

It's good that thing's are starting to get better in your life.
A perfect example why abstaining is key to happier life all round.
If you can change your life in 78 day's imagine what the year and so on will bring?

Have a great weekend.
And of course awesome work so far

Deano x

-

77 days and gf, not posting much at the mo, been ill and I'm a grumpy b****r when I'm ill x

Morning day 80 and gf and today will be another day gf. STarting the day off today with a brisk walk in the park with my dog, then bracing myself for some shopping. Even thought I've been ill with one of the winter bugs it's so good to have gambling out of my life. The thoughts and urges do get less and less, I've lost count how many jigsaw puzzles I've completed but they have been a massive distraction along with excercise, cleaning, volunteering, adult colouring etc., anyway have to get going will catch up later but best wishes to everyone on this life changing journey x

Morning Anon, hope you are feeling better today & shopping wasn't too stressful?

I had to drop by & confess that half way through my shift last night I discovered I had my knickers on inside out...Not just the adult colouring books & the pesky mutts that we have in common eh ;-0

Working Christmas. Who are you santa clause lol.

Thanks for the post anon.
Only 13 more sleeps till the triple digits for you.

Cakes on me x

84 days gf, they have soon stacked up, don't really have the time to think about it, either at work which is mega busy this time of year and outside of work with doing more exercise, walking the dog, charity work, family, being normal etc., x

85 days gf and just got in since 8am this morning. Went to visit an aunt in a care home and guess what they were doing when I got there, playing bingo, the prizes were 1 line packet of swizzlers and the same for two lines, full house you had a packet of walkers crisps (flavour of your choice) how simple and easily pleased they were all. I'm so glad I've taken control of my life and given up gambling, it makes you appreciate the simple things. Works been busy, I'm so tired but happy x