Absolutely devastated I have spent months of lies racking up debt to feed my horrible addiction. I was back to being debt free and started gambling again and put myself into a whole load of debt that’s going to take me 6 or more years to clear. I am a compulsive gambler and can’t gamble in anyway. If I don’t stop the gambling is going to kill me. It’s fried my brain no matter how hard I try I can’t stop once I have that first losing bet I just keep going till I have no money left. I have the most amazing wife and she has supported me and gave me alot of money I have lied about to cover up my gambling loses. If I don’t stop now I am going to lose everything. To be back here kills me.Â
I'm in exactly the same boat. I quit gambling for 2 years, but in the passed 3 weeks started gambling again and now I'm in so much debt again after being debt free and getting my life back on track, now I'm back in a big black hole and feel like I can't go on. Really don't know how to deal with this anymore 😭
Keep updating your self-exclusions for life  that’s your answer
I hear you. I’m in exactly the same position. In fact I could have wrote that post as it sums me up too! Sacrificed a lot, worked hard and suffered not being able to give my family the nicer things they deserve for 5 years to get debt free. Decided I was strong enough to have a bit of “fun” and took the restrictions away. Within a few weeks I had lost a noticeable amount that I wouldn’t be able to hide from my wife. So I did what we all do and kept chasing those losses. It spiralled so quick this time and I wasn’t even putting any thought into what I was backing and increasing my stakes to a level not seen before. I’m now in almost £30k of debt and will spend the next 5 years putting all my money after bills towards loans. I feel so ashamed, so guilty that I’m depriving my wife and kids of holidays, days out and takeaways or treats. I hate myself for it. The only consolation is that I’ve hit rock bottom, lost all sense of control but there’s only one way up. If anything this has finally made me feel that gambling is a mugs game and just not worth it. I’ve always felt that’ll I’ll be able to control it and will go back to it. Until now! It’s left me broken and I hope with the help and the support such as joining this forum, attending counselling sessions and GA groups and just generally talking more -rather than keeping it a secret- will give me the strength never to want to gamble again. I can’t understand how I’m a sensible bloke with a good job and a hands on dad who wouldn’t get ripped off by an energy provider or purchasing something, but I can throw thousands I didn’t even have into the deepest darkest well - that a compulsive gambler is always drawn too! May as well have set fire to it. Stay strong. I’m finding I have good days where I’m positive and others where I feel flat, deflated, teary and can’t believe I’ve done it again. The road is long but just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Hi both,
It sounds that you’re both in a really difficult place. You’re not alone in this.  Please do consider reaching out to trusted friends and family, and consider contacting the helpline 0808 8020 133, https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/  amongst other things, they can refer you for 1-2-1 support if that feels like something that would be helpful right now. Please also consider joining the chat rooms, https://community.gamcare.org.uk/chatrooms/  as these can be a source of great support. Do please reach out. All the best to you
Jane
Forum Admin
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