Hi
I am a non religious person.
Why would I stay and stick in the recovery program for over 52 years if it did not work.
Why would it take me over 20 years to learn that abstaining on its own was not enough for me.
Why would it take me over 20 years to learn that talking about money and gambling did not heal my pains or help me get healthy, healing only happens once I stopped causing my self pains and fears.
In time I found meetings that gave honest therapies and helped me understand that I was an emotionally vulnerable person adn was unhealthy.
The recovery program was going to help me help myself become a much healthier person, and I would start to heal the hurt inner child in me.
I like many people was not able to abstain from gambling or other unhealthy habits from day one.
The simple truth no one could stop me gambling, no one could stop lying,
no one could stop me self-destructing.
The recovery program was about me healing my pains in healthy ways and learning to exchange unhealthy habits into healthy habits.
The therapies would start once I got more honest with myself.
Honesty and reducing fears got me to a place where emotional intimacy would happen in my life.
Only once I abstained from unhealthy habits could I start to heal the hurt inner child in me.
The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I could not cope emotionally with people life and certain situations.
Only once I was able to abstain could I become aware of my emotional triggers.
In my recovery I got to understand my emotional triggers, pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations, loneliness, and boredom.
I got to understand my anger was an unhealthy reaction to pains I could not heal, fears I could not face, frustrations due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
When do you start to peel back the onion and expose the hurt inner child in you?
For me the recovery program was very similar to mountain climbers, you start your journey slowly and being tied to healthy people with more experience to help you on your learning curve.
For me it was very slow baby steps taking one day at a time, just for today only I will not gamble, just for today only I will live in less fear, just for today only I will become healthier.
Love healing and peace to everyone.
Dave L
AKA Dave Of Beckenham UK
Hi
My recovery has become very precious to me and my life.
Abstaining from unhealthy habits was only the beginning.
When I got consumed by my gambling I was in self destructive mode.
I was causing my self lots of pain and hurting my family as well.
When I got consumed by my gambling I was emotionally disconnected from my self and my family.
When I got consumed by my gambling I did respect my self or value my self.
I use to think that only by winning money would make me feel successful in my self.
By being consumed by my gambling the lies got worse.
I did not want to go to meetings because the person I feared facing the most was my self.
The recovery program was going to help me help my self.
The recovery program was going to help me learn to love and respect my self.
How unhealthy was I.
How healthy do want to be today.
More time in the recovery program helped me to be a person I would like as a friend.
No more time wasting, working for weeks months years and gicving that hard earned money away to complete strangers, while my family went with out.
All the time I was consumed in my unhealthy habits I was not with the people that loved me the most.
Today no more guilt shame remorse, no living in fears, no more doubting my self or others.
Seeing the best in my self and in others.
I live fully for today.
To learn from the pains of my past and no longer live in the pains of my past.
The healthier I get the less fear I live in today.
My inner child comes out to play today.
Love and peace to every one.
Dave L
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