It's now or never!... 13th May 2018

Good Luck Dan

We are all here rooting for you!

Sammy x

Really appreciate you investing time in my diary . It’s great to know that my suffering has not been in vain . Hopefully you can gain a little bit of inspiration.

Go for it, do this for yourself.....you've everything to gain and nothing to lose from being GF S:)

Day 1

The morning after the night before. I feel awful. But I must remain positive.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I’m going to make it a productive one.

Hi Dan,

I too got stuck in a perennial cycle of gamblie, stop, relapse, gamble. It became a habit in itself. You need to break that habit.

For me, one of things that has helped change my mindset this time around is accepting that I will not gamble again. Ever. I was always setting a date in the future when I would allow myself a small ‘affordable’ gamble as a reward for abstaining over a period of time. But not only did I rarely ever make it that far without relapsing but it would, of course, never end with just that one session.

Good luck.

Thanks, Sammy, Sharon and Ukds69.

Yes, I have to accept that the money is now gone and that gambling will only damage my life, not enhance it. There’s no such thing as a small bet for us compulsive gamblers. We’re way beyond that now.

My long term aim (aside from being gamble free) is to live a better and healthier life. To look after myself properly, to exercise regularly, eat healthier, sleep better etc. I neglect all these things when gambling.

One thing I really suffer from is stress and anxiety. I worry about life far too much and stress about what many would consider the tiniest of things. I’m grinding my teeth, biting my nails etc. I need to look into some relaxation techniques as I’m pretty sure the stress and anxiety contributes heavily to my gambling.

Today, I aim to change that. I need to slow things down and not rush things in my life. I think we’re all guilty of doing that sometimes. Only yesterday I found myself ‘wolfing’ down my lunch because I was running late. I need to plan ahead better and avoid things scenarios like this.

Sorry, I’m rambling....

Off to get ready for work now.

The addiction is playing with you Dan.

It thoroughly enjoys a good old game of "Let's beat the addiction." Having played the game with you numerous times before, it knows all your moves. All it has to do is hit you with doubt and uncertainties, before you know it your on the ropes.

Develop new strategies, change your way of thinking and bolster your defenses. The addiction thinks it's got the upper hand so come out with a fresh mindset and new tactics. It cannot hurt you, it may feel real but it is just thoughts in your head. Distract yourself with whatever works for you. The choices are endless and may include: exercise, hobbies, social interactions, relaxation exercises etc. Wishing you well .. stephen

I’ve got my new strategies in place, Stephen.

I’m done with all this ****.

Gambling has ruled my life for too long now. I’m going to make myself into a fitter, healthier person. Gambling is all just a big con, disguised into making you think that it’s ‘fun’ and ‘entertaining’ when all it does is drain you of your money and eventually leave you potless. It never ends any other way. You don’t suddenly become rich from gambling. If you were to win big, it’s only ever temporary. The gambling industry will always get it back...and some.

Day 1

So far, despite suffering from the next day ‘gambling hangover’, I’m managing to have a productive day.

I’ve set myself various goals that I want to achieve including losing a stone in weight. This afternoon after work I went for a quick 5km run. Normally I find this a doddle but the hot weather and the ‘hangover’ made this more difficult. I’m glad I did it though.

Now I’m home, I plan to have a relaxing bath, have my tea and then do something RELAXING. Which is what I need to do far more of. Maybe I’ll watch a film or read a book. I might even try some meditation.

Dan

Dan you have contributed on my diary and I am grateful for the support. I hope I can offer you at least a little in return.

I too have been a compulsive relapser (a way of covering over the fact that I never really gave up compulsive gamblingI see in hindsight) but there comes a time when you don't want this rubbish life anymore. The future without it may seem scary but let's be honest any way of life other than gambling has to be better than the hell gambling creates.

I agree with UKds69 that an acceptance that you will never gamble again has to be part of the recovery process. It may be that you are not at that point yet but keep trying - it will come. The horror of how low my life had become 5 years ago should have put me off gambling for life but it didn't. I don't know what was different this time but I knew that it had to be it - it had to be the last time I would ever do it and I felt at peace with that. I'm hoping this is how you feel now and if it is then have every faith that you will succeed this time.

No matter the outcome, you should be so proud of the fact that you are still trying to beat this addiction I for one appreciate the love and support that you extend to everyone else on here. I wish you all the best in your recovery and hope you will make great strides along the path to a better life without gambling.

Remain determined, Dan. Love and respect, samorgo.

Well done Dan on your new approach, good luck.

Without knowing your full situation I know that my own relapses have come from not having the FULL blocks in place, I left places open as a crutch as my addiction wouldn’t let them go and I think now I’ve gotten a better hold on things by closing those final accounts and finally trying to set myself free of this nightmare.

Good luck again

Thank you so much, Samorgo and Samba79 for your kind messages.

I’ve put as many blocks in place as I can possibly use, but like someone else has said (I can’t remember who), blocks sometimes aren’t always enough. It has to come with YOU wanting to stop gambling too. Because if you do really want to gamble, there’s a very good chance that you’ll find a way.

My goals that I’ve set should hopefully be good morivation for me to stay away from gambling.

The ‘Non Gambling Coin Jar’ is back out too. For every day I abstain from gambling, I pop a £1 into the coin jar.

Into bed early tonight with a cup of cammomile tea 🙂

A bit different to last night when I was muching down a pizza, with a can of coke, watching dead spin after dead spin on Roulette.

I much prefer this life. I’m feeling good after my run this afternoon. I’ve also been for a walk this evening. I’ve had pasta for tea. No crisps, chocolate etc.

It’s time to get myself into shape and off the gambling wagon.