It's now or never!... 13th May 2018

Day 30 - 1 month gamble free

It feels good to have reached a whole month gamble free.

Dan The Man rocking on resolute and right

Alive with vim and vigour as he battles day and night

Pure pleasure to behold him as he wrenches back his life

From the bookies and their cohorts who gave him so much strife

Latest Score... Dan 30 Bookies 0

Thanks so much for your messages, Stephen and Caughtup.

I’ve actually enjoyed the journey so far. As each day passes, I’m growing in confidence and belief that I can finally beat this awful addiction. Or at least manage it, if nothing else.

Today I had the dilemma that has been quite common amongst users on the forum, and that is ‘The World Cup’ work sweepstake.

As it has been ME that has always organised it in the past, everyone was wondering when I’d be organising it. Hoping to put people off, I told them that I wasn’t that interested in doing one this year but if someone else wanted to take on the responsibility, then that was fine...(thinking that they wouldn’t bother). However, today somebody stepped up to the mark and created one. As everyone knows me to be an avid lover of football and the odd punt (little do they know quite how much I do!), I was automatically included in the sweepstake. Without wanting to cause too much of a fuss, I went along with it, but I have told myself that if one of my sides were to win the tournament, I would give my winnings to charity. That way I would feel as though I won’t have really gambled. It’s controversial and will no doubt split opinions amongst users on here, but it was a way of not rocking the boat at work and not gaining for MYSELF should any of my sides win.

I want this recovery of mine to be as honest as possible.

Dan

Time to be extra careful now Dan, a month is a nice marker but often means funds can become available again. I know you know that 😛

Well done on the first month, all the best mate.

To be fair, sjw, funds have been available to me for a while now. Even more so since my last pay day....

However, what isn’t available to me now is the anonymous nature in which I spend my money....

That has been the biggest change I’ve made since I’ve started this latest recovery. I’ve nowhere really to hide. If I gambled, it would be there for all to see.

The thought of letting my girlfriend down is something that I couldn’t bear thinking about.

Don’t get me wrong, I imagine there will be future temptations and thoughts when I try to work out a way to gamble without her knowing, but realistically I can’t see how I could hide it. She has every penny accounted for and for me, that’s a good thing. It was neccessary.

Day 32

The start of the World Cup! If I’m honest, I’m going to try and avoid all the hype as much as possible. Which being a massive football fan, I’ll probably find hard to do.

But the blocks in place are doing their jobs perfectly which is all I can ask for.

I know people talk about getting your ‘blocks’ in place to aid recovery, but for me, there has been no better block than my girlfriend. As somebody pointed out on here the other night, as compulsive gamblers, we’ll always find a way to get round these ‘blocks’. Whether it be bookies exclusions, online exclusions etc. Most of us seem to find a way.

That’s why for me, I’ve not gone down either of those routes. I’d more than likely find a way round them. I’ve realised that it’s my mindset that had to change. I love my girlfriend FAR more than I love gambling. She deserves my fullest attention and deserves to be with somebody who isn’t going to P*** up all his money on gambling.

The guilt I would feel if I were to gamble again would be too hard to live with.

Dan

Hi Dan,

Question...what harm would it do going down the self exclusion route?

You might be able to find a way round that but it would be harder work than it would be without doing it.

Damo

Damo - Call it naive on my part but I’ve read so many stories on here of people who have self excluded from bookies/online and they’ve always managed to place a bet if they really wanted to.

I honestly couldn’t see it being any different for me.

Yes, it would be harder to place a bet but I firmly believe that I would in the end if I really wanted to.

I could exclude online but then I’d resort to betting in the bookies or using another account etc until the 5 year period was up....

For me, this has to be a complete change in mentality about what I feel gambling stands for.

I don’t want my abstinence from gambling to be forced and for it to feel like a mental battle every day.

It’s controversial, I know, and I’m sure many, many people would disagree with me. But for me, it feels right.

The most important and positive step I could take this time around was telling my long term girlfriend. That felt like a MASSIVE weight off my shoulder and she has given me the strength that I was lacking in previous attempts.

She makes me realise what is important in life.

I’m not going to make promises that I will never ever gamble again, but I know that if I do, there’s a very good chance that I could lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. So that’s a ‘bet’ that I am not willing to take on.

I’m feeling at the moment that there is a lot more to life than gambling. The urges, since telling my girlfriend, have been minimul. If anything.

Dan

Hi Dan,

It’s been a while since I’ve been on the forum and it’s so nice to read through your feeds and the positive steps you’ve made to keeping yourself busy and GF. Keep up the good work!

I had a relapse last week and went to the casino and gambled over £2K. I’m disappointed in myself but have learnt not to be so hard on myself. The urge for chasing the funds back has been playing on my mind, especially as it’s Friday night.

Here’s to a GF night. Taking this one day at a time again.

Keep up the good work Dan and when I next log back in, I look forward to reading your feed.

Day 34

I’m having some mixed feeling this morning/last night about gambling.

I must admit, I’m feeling slightly emvious of all my friends who are messaging me on Whatsapp/Whatsapp Group chats to show me their bets for the World Cup. I’m actually jealous of the little £1/£2 bets they’re having. The type of bets that I wish I could have without it ever escalating. But I know that I never can because it always WILL escalate.

I always knew the World Cup would be a big test but I know that I can’t gamble anyway because my conscience won’t let me. I’ve built up a decent amount of days gamble free but more importantly I’m beginning to build some trust back with my girlfriend. So for those reasons I won’t gamble.

I’m in the World Cup sweepstake at work and I’ve created a Free World Cup fantasy team online with my fellow work colleagues, but for me, I don’t see that or count that as gambling.

Have a gamble free weekend everyone.

Dan

DeterminedDan wrote:

Day 34

I’m having some mixed feeling this morning/last night about gambling.

I must admit, I’m feeling slightly emvious of all my friends who are messaging me on Whatsapp/Whatsapp Group chats to show me their bets for the World Cup. I’m actually jealous of the little £1/£2 bets they’re having. The type of bets that I wish I could have without it ever escalating. But I know that I never can because it always WILL escalate.

I always knew the World Cup would be a big test but I know that I can’t gamble anyway because my conscience won’t let me. I’ve built up a decent amount of days gamble free but more importantly I’m beginning to build some trust back with my girlfriend. So for those reasons I won’t gamble.

I’m in the World Cup sweepstake at work and I’ve created a Free World Cup fantasy team online with my fellow work colleagues, but for me, I don’t see that or count that as gambling.

Have a gamble free weekend everyone.

Dan

Hey Dan

Just made a post about the World Cup, was feeling a bit like yourself. I guess our £2 “harmless” bet is the equivalent of telling an alcoholic they can have a glass of champagne at a wedding, they can’t do it and neither can we. What I will say is, people only ever tend to show you their winning bets, I did the same, showing off about winning £50 on a first scorer when I’d staked at least twice that in the weekend.

If partaking in a sweep and fantasy team helps you then that’s great for you. Declined the sweep at work but my colleague ended up buying one for me and left it on my desk, (think she thought I was skint) I got Peru so no chance of winning which is good haha

Congratulations on 34 days though, great achievement.

Hey Leedsfan, to be fair, it doesn’t really help me in any way, it was more a case of not rocking the boat and not giving any sort of game away at work. If I genuinely felt as though it would harm or effect my chances of remaining gamble free, then I’d have obviously declined. But to me, it feels seperate to the problem gambling I’d encountered in the past. I’m not getting the same kind of buzz.

DeterminedDan wrote:

Hey Leedsfan, to be fair, it doesn’t really help me in any way, it was more a case of not rocking the boat and not giving any sort of game away at work. If I genuinely felt as though it would harm or effect my chances of remaining gamble free, then I’d have obviously declined. But to me, it feels seperate to the problem gambling I’d encountered in the past. I’m not getting the same kind of buzz.

Exactly Dan, I’ll prob do a PL fantasy team but just for fun. It’s def not the instant buzz we get our kicks from.

A fan I am of Dan the Man who's kicking gambling in the can

Congratulations on your excellent progress up the gamble free road

We can live a contented life with happy days and jolly adventures or we can return to gambling and the misery that is associated with it. It is our choice when all is said and done. Let's hope we continue to choose wisely. Wishing you a fun weekend, peaceful and contented ...stephen

Day 35 - 5 weeks gamble free.

I’m beginning to feel the benefits of a gamble free life.

Life in general is a whole lot better.

Dan