Hi all, bit of an update. I saw my last post was 2014, I read it whilst shaking my head how long this has been going on for.
I wasn't able to escape the grips of it for many years although did reduce the losses and got a tiny bit better with responsibilities. I still had to keep a 'saturday football account' open though etc so not willing to fully give it the boot. I finally had well over 12 months completely gamble free. Not even tempted.
Then this summer happened. After being dragged out for 2 years I finally received half of my late fathers estate, £50,000.
I knew the dangers but first night couldn't wait to find an account and play slots, felt like I was in Vegas almost. Big stakes and no longer had the risk of running of day to day cash doing it. Was quite content with a blow out and a 3-5k loss as 'blowing off steam' and 'one for the road'. I had breathing issues and anxiety all summer and it felt like an escape from the Pandemic in all honesty.
Won £3,000 on nearly my first £6 spin. Thoughts of bank it and run, just made £3k for nothing entered my mind. But no carried on and of course the rest is predictable to everyone on here. Lost about £30,000 in 6 weeks. Ironically no sports betting (my previous 10 year vice), this time it was slots.
Spoke to Gamcare who probably saved my life on online chat at 1am and now have someone from a local charity phone me once a week. I have just taken the gamstop step too.
I have no further urge to gamble but feel sick and barely sleep daily trying to process the losses. I had promised to pay off a few previous gambling debts owed to my folks but ended up setting up plans with who they borrowed from. Of course now they rightly complain I effectively made them worse off than before I had my inheritance.
I have managed to stop before losing it all and now cling onto the remainder hopeful of building it back up again. My charity call is due in a few hours and I can't wait to speak to someone again. I have chosen for now not to tell those close to me what happened again. Will see if that changes. Best wishes to all those fighting the same battle.
Dear @james3891,
thank you very much for sharing what has been going on for you in recent times. First I would like to congratulate you for 12months gamble free, that is a huge achievement.
Second - I am sorry to hear about your recent relapse. Unfortunately a large chunk of money at once will always be a trigger, doesn't matter if you haven't gambled for six weeks, six months or six years even. Going forward it is important that you remember this and have a plan in place to keep yourself safe in such situations. It mention you knew the dangers, which is good. The next step is to put something in place to protect yourself from these dangers. So should there be another situation where you are expecting the payment of a large sum of money make sure you ask someone to supervise you whilst you move this money to a safe account or just install merchant blocks through your bank right now.
It is crucial that going forward you are prepared and part of this is finding ways to entertain yourself, even in lockdown. So I would strongly recommend that you start looking for creative hobbies you might enjoy and make sure to have a positive daily routine.
I am glad you are getting ongoing treatment support and I am glad you were able to talk to us as well. Keep us in mind if you are struggling with the urges again.
Please keep posting and sharing.
Wishing you all the very best,
Eva
Forum Admin
Thanks.
Yeah I think the problem was after such a long wait I literally received the money completely without warning late at night. So not like I had a rough date to get prepared for. I did Gamstop today and have got some positive steps in place.
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