Its time

Another good day yesterday with no thoughts of gambling. Its a little differerent for me because I never gambled at the weekend, I had self excluded from every bookie within 20 miles. Golf this morning, that is my safe place as I am beginning to realise that I used the bookies as a place where I could be totally selfish and not think about the outside world. Golf also gives metime to do that but in a much more constructive way. Today is day 14 - its going to be a good one! I hope yours is too.

Back to work today and a full diary to keep me busy. Spending more time sat in the car waiting for appointments buy using that time to catch up on emails. Day 15 today - and it's going to be a good one.

Day 16 and no relapses. All is well and seems to be going ok although I feel no different to day 1. By that I mean that I don't have a desire to gamble but I don't feel that I am any further away from it. Not sure that makes sense but I am looking forward to a time when I feel that I am making real progress. Maybe tomorrow at my 2nd GA meeting when I declare it may dawn on me..

In the meantime, today is going to be a good one, I hope it is for you too.

Getting that emotional distance from gambling can be a long process. Try not to expect miracles overnight. You havnt gambled in 16 days which is great. Recovery is easier when we embrace it. When it feels like we are enduring its time to try even harder. If there are things you are struggling with ask how others at your meeting how they have coped with them as no doubt most of them will have felt the same things you do.

GA tonight - again a lot to say by 1 individual. We had a discussion about someone paying to enter a cash prize sports competition. It ended with people suggesting that paying a fee to enter a competition was gambling and would hinder recovery . Would welcome opinion, if I pay £3 to enter a golf monthly medal with a £30 prize, is that gambling and will it affect my recovery! I came away somewhat confused!

Try not to let personal differences affect the greater good. In all walks of life you will not like everyone you encounter. Try to see the bigger picture. As to the old chesnut they talked about, strictly anything that involves staking money for a prize is gambling. The point of GAs stance on this is that the program believes we should place principles above personality. The thinking behind this is that when it comes to what is good for us regarding our gambling addiction we have shown throughout our history that we do not make good decisions about it. So it tries to make decisions like the one you talk about black & white. However there is nothing to say you cant play & if you were to win give the prize to charity. You will encounter lots of things in GA that you may disagree with & thats fine. Just try to be willing to at least consider the bits you dont like before dismissing them. There are parts of the program in GA that i dont agree with but that doesnt make me throw out the rest of it.

Thanks D. I don't think I am taking things personally and I don't dislike this guy or indeed disagree with much he says. I do however find it frustrating when one person who has been gamble free for 10 years, feels it necessary to give a 5 minute eulogy after each update. Last night I was asked for an update at 8.55, with 3 more behind me and the session finishing at 9, it was very rushed. I will continue to attend as part of my recovery and do try to understand every stance. I will also continue to have my own thoughts on what I should do, incidentally, it wasn't me that talked about paying to enter competitions, it was another CG. Today is day 18 and it's going to be a good one.

Thanks Em, the comments from others really help my recovery. Just enjoying each GF day.

Sat watching the golf and thought I would post now as likely to be a late night and I have to be on the road early tomorrow.

It's been a positive day and another one where I have won! I still feel that I am missing something but in the way you miss having a plaster cast on a broken arm - you get so used to it and it feels uncomfortable when it's taken off. The thing is, we all know that when you once again get used to the freedom of "no cast" then you really start to value it so I am looking forward to when I can reflect on the freedom that being gamble free is giving me.

I hope you all have a good Friday, for me it is day 19 and it's going to be a good one.

Just a quick one to say all is going well. Keeping really busy and have no thoughts or opportunity to gamble. Keep reminding myself about making sure the "triangle" is never complete.

21 days gone and all is well. Looking forward to tomorrow, its going to be a good day, hope yours is too.

Day 22 under my belt and a couple of thoughts.

Every morning I set my own LiMiT. By that I mean that I ensure that I limit myself to only one of the three key elements of Location, Money and Time (the i's in limit refer to me as I am the only one who can control this). So, if I am going to a location where I know there are bookies, I ensure that I am tight on time and have minimal cash and no cards with me etc. I also have a post it note on my dashboard with the word LiMiT written on it. This is a welcome reminder every time I get in my car - it means something to me but nothing to anyone else. I have the chance to act on it before I set off each day!

Another thing I have done is advised my wife and kids that in the event that I gamble again then I expect them to make me feel as though I have let them down. Only a small thing but the thought of letting my family down really helps me remain positive, how could I expect them to look up to me if I keep letting them down.

Only small things but I am certain that in any moment of weakness, they will really remind me of why I don't gamble!

Tomorrow is day 23 and it's going to be a great day, I hope it is for you too.

GA tonght and was a little late owing to a very important family commitment. It was nice to be able to share my week with my fellow CGs. As normal, one person had a lot to say about everything.

I take great comfort in knowing that there are people in the room who get "it" and people in the room who have experience of living through "it". We have to remember (and accept) that "it" is a different breed of the nasty gambling animal for different individuals. as a result, the way to deal with "it" will be different for everyone.

We had a new member tonight and he was obvously very scared, he has a machine addiction. It was fantastic that he had taken the step to :-

1. Accept he has a problem

2. Want to do somthing about it

3. Make the effort to come along to the session

This was the first "newbie" I had come across and it was nice to be able to offer support, without judgement and from a position of understanding (I too am a machine addict). Whilst new to GA myself (and I probably haven't earned the right to have an opinion yet) I was frustrated that one or two in the room don't seem to understand that whilst we all want to stop gambling, the immediate needs of a machine addict are different to those who first came to GA umpteen years ago because they were studying form in works time and sneaking off to the "betting office" to place big cash bets.

I really get what attending GA can give and see know how it fits into my recovery both in terms of helping me with my own problem but allowing me to listen to (and support) others. I feel now that if I did gamble then I would be letting those (strangers) who give their time valuable to time to listen to me. I am not prepared to let that happen, they deserve better!

Tonight, in breaks I was also able to talk 121 with a few people and got great value out of that time.

As I continue my recovery and use both GA and this forum I will now try to give more as well as take. This is the last time I will comment on individuals at GA but I needed to get it off my chest - my next stage is to work around people who have a very one dimentional approach and and ensure that I keep my focus on those who can help me and those I can help. After all, we are all different breeds and you dont treat a Tiger the same as next doors moggy!!!

Today was day 24 and it was a good day, I hope that tomorrow is too for all of us.

What an insightful and well balanced post. It's true that every gamblers story is different and each recovery is an individual journey, but with a common aim, to continue to abstain from gambling and support our fellow CGs along the way. Proud to be walking beside you fellow soldier

Another good day today. No gambling.

I was out and about travelling from home to Kettering then to Leicester then home. During my journey I saw 16 betting shops - I wonder how many would survive without FOBTs?

For me I had made sure that my LiMiT had been set and removed the opportunity to gamble (should I not be in control) by making sure that whilst the location would not be an issue, I had little money with me and planned my day so time was very tight! Fortunately for me I was in complete control so no problems anyway!

Tomorrow is going to be a good day for me and I hope it is for you too!

Another day goes by with no gambling. Looking forward to 4 weeks GF tomorrow. Seems that my barriers and focus are working but mustn't become complacent as the b****d animal still lurks and stalks its prey!