Life begins again

Hi S,

Thanks for your supportive and encouraging post yesterday. Made me smile and cry at the same time (ohhhh what I'm like lol). Yup, Pompey is great corner of the world and you know it more than i do lol..really awesome place to live in my eyes and since I'm in love with nature that's just right up my street 🙂
Good to hear house movement is keeping on the go and just can't believe how quickly time goes!!
Very glad to hear that you keep batting demons and winning this good fight.
You go girl!

S x

Thanks Steve, Paul and Sandra xxx

Good morning diary,

442 days today

Guy came Round yesterday evening to do inspection for EPC certificate, (what a rip off this certificate is)

Estate agents were going to charge us 89.00 but OH looked online and we did it ourselves for supposedly 39.95 (yea diary supposedly) we should have paid the initial fee upfront and before this guy came round, but because we paid online half an hour late, they charged us an extra 14.95 in late charges WHAT, OH blew a gasket, it's feels soo frustrating to think we are being ripped off/conned etc, but who was I to feel angry, I had plenty of practice myself ripping myself off and my OH every day, by gambling, .

In the past I would have truly welcomed ripping myself off after this, but not last night, did have some strong thoughts though,

I still am at work in progress with MONEY, be it whether it's coming in or going out, I must stop stressing about it, my addiction has left a very BIG scar, with me and money, (maybe it is because I still do not trust myself with it as it has burnt me many times)

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and calm gamblng free day.

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne
The joys of selling your home lol.
But with 442 days behind you it should be a breeze.
Have a great day.
Steve xxx

Slowly getting to the mark of 450 days!!!!!!!!

Hiya Suzanne, your OH sounds just like my OH lol..Mrs Ginge would have hit the roof too..slowly but surely I'm 'coming round' to their way of thinking when it comes to my relationship with money.....my "tomorrow's another day" attitude to finance has changed for the better, HD'S. ....CG sure does leave a scar Blondie, but those 'battle scars' are worn with pride, a reminder of how far we've come 😉 ...have another lovely winning day the blonde one...OAU..the Ginger one x

Suzanne, don't lose sight of the fact that you still saved £34.10 by going that extra mile yourself 🙂 That's a lot of cleaning stuff 😉

Morning Suzanne.
443 days.....Amazing.
Have a fantastic day.
Steve xxc

Sure is a lot of cleaning money junnniee, need it to as this viewing melarchy is on going HD.

Good morning diary,

443 days today.

Have two viewings later today after work, it's just a case of keeping the house mint 100% of the time, phew it's soooo exhausting lol, but it keeps me busy and my mind occupied HD.

Son came round last night with LM, they are off to Spain today for a week, soo proud of my son for spending his hard earned on a holiday instead of gambling it all away, it's the first holiday he has taken LM on, on his own, as he is not with LMs mum now, (due to gambling) but he seems to be much happier and more stable with his new partner, I know they will have a great time, but still can't help but worry inside, as they are flying to Spain, (son hates flying ).

It's going to be a lovely sunny day, and I know it will be gamble free because I have made my choice for today.

Wishing everyone a positive, strong and sunny gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

443 days Suzanne amazing journey you are on and helping others along with theirs as well thank you for your support and have a lovely day x

The bear x

Hi Suzanne

443 days!!! How good it must feel to be able to say that.

It has really helped me through a tough moment tonight reading your diary and your words of wisdom on mine and others.

Well done and thank you for your support.

Tina x

Morning Suzanne.
A Massive well done on all the fours!
Have a great Thursday.
Steve xxx

444, a great number Suzanne.

Paul

444 days, You continue daily with your battle and inspire us all. You are a great support for so many people and I wish you all that you wish for yourself
Proud of you
Cheryl xxx

Thanks Bear, Tina, Em, Steve and paul, your support is very much appreciated xxx

Good morning diary,

Lol Steve all the 4s, 444,

I don't feel the need to do a day count, now but I still do as dont want to change anything at this time lol. Some mornings I have to check what day I am on, my recovery is more important now and has been for a while than my day count.

Looking back as I feel today, the last 444 days have been quite a blur in a lot of ways, my recovery journey sometimes feels unreal, if that makes sense. Yes I have made a lot of small changes and a couple of big ones, but sometimes it does all feel strange, to see my life changing if only tiny bits, but it is changing by the day.

I am soo glad I have persevered with my diary, so I know it's real lol.

Some days yes to be honest, it is an effort to post on here, (can't be bothered, no time etc) what a mistake that would have been for me to let my diary slip (I am by no means saying anyone or everyone should update every day, we all do our journeys differently but this works for me at this time) .

I have to thank Steve for me updating my diary every day (bar a couple lol) because he posts to me unconditionally every day, so I know I have to come on even if I don't feel like it, (and sometimes I don't when life is busy busy lol)

And then I have days like today (for no special reason) where. I want to post to as many fellow CGs as possible to share my recovery and give everyone some support and encouragement.

It's not possible for me to post to every one every day, even when like today I want to tell each and everyone of you, that this roller coaster journey of recovery is possible (thanks Ade) and life can begin again, (with all the bumps and scars ) why because we are all soooo very much worth it, it truly is a horrible addiction to arrest,

And let's face it what alternative do we have, RECOVERY is the only way forwards for all of us, even if it feels unreal at times lol.

Wishing everyone a good strong and calm gambling free day.

Suzanne xxx

Good morning Suzanne and thank you for your continued support despite having to cope with your own diary, yes you inspire the rest of us, so thank you.

take care

Mary xx