Life begins again

PS,

Am not struggling at all with gambling urges, at this time, gambling just made everything 100% worse, I already felt inferior to my siblings, just maybe I thought I could win enough money to be on their level in life,( please don't quote me on this diary) I am just thinking and I can't help it, situations that occurr now make me think, because I Am in recovery,

Ideally I would like to erase all my past, but I can't, I have to live with it, but the positive big thing here is, through this recovery journey of being a CG, I am learning some of the whys and therefores and yes it is like treading on infected broken glass, but I am walking the walk, and I know my thoughts and moods change like the weather and that this roller coaster of life continues to roll

on, but there is a big fat POSITIVE out of this for me, I have no desire/urge/inckling to gamble whatsoever, no matter how low or what life brings me now, and that for today is a big POSITIVE for me, because that addiction knows it won't break the line, my recovery line is too tight, secure and basically I am just not interested anymore

Suzanne xx

Are you drunk Blondie? 😉

Good posts either way. Keep up the battle and claim YOUR life bacj.

You matter ☺..b proud

S x

Heh 🙂

That's why you wouldn't dind me on FB 😉 Twitter - maybe lol...nahhhh...being here is more than enough for my socialising!

Sleep well Blondie..my night has only started...:-/ happy days at 6am let me tell ya ☺

Later gal x

Good morning,

Good for you. Maybe the above needed to be said for you too move on again. There is a reason why we gambled. Mine was inferiority and depression.

Your positivity shines through to yourself and others. You can't change the past but (hell yeah) you are determining your future.

Best wishes xx

Suzanne

Great to see you are turning over those stone's to remain in recovery, sometimes there is a bitter pill to be found and swallowed under them,but from that your own life will grow.

My friend you cannot change the past, but without doubt you are in control of your future.

I believe that your recovery very much mirrors mine, at a similar point in my own journey addiction found a weakness and fooled me into believing that nobody cared,the result was I ran to it.

You are doing the right thing, a choice for life, be proud of that.

Through recovery I have learnt the value in not judging everything, for it isn't a competition is it?

Keep working through the process, you have value, ability and most of all a passion for life.

Keep talking, taking the medicine.

This forum is part of my life, that will remain so

Don't let addiction fool you otherwise, i know the consequences of making that foolish choice.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thanks Sandra, Balvaird and Duncs, xxx

Good morning diary.

Last working day for the week already lol,

It's a lovely sunny day up in Yorkshire, and after digesting lol, my thoughts last night, (yes S with the help of a couple of voddies)

I am ready to take the new day on, with renewed positivity lol.

Postman has just gifted me a cheque (courtesy of the taxman lol) it's not a mega amount but have received all the tax back that I paid in last year, because I was made redundant last November, so I am going to gift myself and OH with this refund, by not spending even one single penny of it on gambling,

Wishing everyone a strong, positive and calm gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Thanks for your continued support on my diary. I'm always grateful for your kind words.

It's good to see you using your diary to release your thoughts. I'm sure it helps to get those feelings off your chest. As you say, you can't change the past, but by acknowledging your thoughts and feelings about the past you can begin to let it go and move forwards without carrying it with you. Obviously the relationship with your brothers has always been difficult. You say that they are ashamed of you. Have they told you that? Or is that something that you're assuming about them? If that is truely how they feel then that says more about them than it does about you.You know that you are a good person with a kind heart. You have many good qualities and a loving, caring family that you're proud of. If they don't have empathy and compassion for another person (let alone their sister) then there is little you can do about it. Just hold your head high, safe in the knowledge that you are living an honest, genuine life feeling blessed and grateful. I wonder if their lives are as rich?

Enjoy the cheque 🙂

LifeBegins x

Hi Suzzane , Thanks for your kind comment on my diary , A big congrats to you on staying away from the big "G" for so long . Way to go girl !! I've now relised why this site helps me to stop gambling , It's because inbetween work and answering all my daily blogs I have no time left to bet , but I'm not gonna moan about that am I ? LOL ! All the best for now Honey x

Hi Suzanne, Congratulations on 500+ !

Best Wishes C66 x

Morning Suzzane , Jst got ur msg , Hey 9 days 10 days ! Who's counting ? Ha! Ha! Have a good , gamble free day xx

Thanks folks xxxx

Good morning diary

508 days today and all feels good in my world today (as far as gambling goes lol)

It's Friday it's LM day who will be here shortly, and I am riding the rollercoaster ride upwards today,

I think that definitely deserves a big positive for me,

Wishing everyone a strong happy and safe gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Hi,

Thank you for the diary posts. Positivity is the way forward indeed. Have a fab day with LM

Best wishes x

Hey Blondie!

Thanks for touching the base and good to see you on the "up" in the ride!
Well done on your ongoing journey, feel proud Hun, you're doing it ☺

S x

Hiya Blondie, thanks for the "nudge"...I've just been code breaking over on the challenge and as you're the queen of abbreviation what's NGTR? ..I was about to abbreviate Ade's...recovery is possible...but then realised.. R I P ...ooooops no thanks lol...have a lovely weekend Suzanne ...OAU..Ginge x