Life begins again

Hi Suzanne,

Sorry to hear about the wedding you won't be able to attend. It's so hard when family are angry with us because they don't understand. Perhaps you could tell your brother the reason, if you feel able? he might be more understanding if he knew it was because of an addiction you are fighting. I know it's not always easy to tell family the truth though. My Dad and brother know some of the extent of it, but my mother doesn't know because she is very pious and judgemental. I just can't be ar s e d with her lectures, lol.

It's really good motivation though, I guess, to think about the consequences gambling has had for you, whenever you feel an urge coming on. If it hadn't caused serious problems for us in our lives, perhaps none of us would be in recovery in the first place.

15 weeks is a fantastic achievement! Wooo hooo!!!!! High five!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes we feel more able to tell people we know about our addiction once a bit of time is behind us - so they know that we are taking it seriously, and trying really hard to fight it. I'm kind of doing that with my husband. I haven't told him about my most recent phase of gambling, as it's a lot of money I've lost, and I will feel better when I can say "but I haven't gambled for 8 weeks now" or whatever. I know it would be better to tell him straight away, but I still feel ashamed.

Anyway, hope you have a great week. I think it's good that you are planning ahead, thinking about the coming days and weeks, and things that could give you a tricky spot. That's what it's all about. Planning ahead, so we can have as much support around as possible, and get our barriers up and strong when we're more vulnerable.

Take care,

f x

Dear diary

Received some very sad news this morning my two granddaughters grandad (their mums dad) passed on in the early hours of this morning

My heart goes out to all the family especially to my two girls I feel so helpless because they are down in Portsmouth and I am up in Yorkshire and they have only just 2 days ago gone home

He was only 56 and it was sudden

The blows life gives us are bad enough so why do we add to them by gambling it does not make sense

Suzanne x

Hi Suzanne,

So sorry to hear about your loss and my heart goes out to you all. Stay strong and hold on on those happy memories you have created with ur loved ones.

Well done for keeping on. May it lasts forever, take care

S x

Hi Suzanne.

So sorry to hear your news.

Steve xx

Hi suzanne sorry to hear about your bad news , hope you can keep strong , and yes you are completley right sometimes bad things happen so why do we choose to make them worse when we dont need to by stupidly gambling , just wanted to say your being a real rock on this site , all the bes simon

Good morning diAry

Day 106 and getting stronger and more in control now to make that choice of not gambling

Had some sad news yesterday but was not tempted at all to waste my money

My two girls have gone home to sad news but I am here for them 100% and that's means gambling has 100% NO part in my life

To be in the midst of my addiction now would just be unthinkable but I am not and that is soo positive for me to keep abstaining and maintaining one day at a time

Back at work today but that's ok

I will not be playing today because I am 100% focused today

Wishing everyone a strong and positive gambling free day

Suzanne xx

What can I say apart from keep going as you are.

Graeme x

Well done on staying strong that can't have been easy. Massive respect and best wishes Suzanne x

Good morning diary

107 days and feeling very positive today

Every day now the positives to abstain outweigh the negatives to gamble

I know I cannot just put a tenner on anymore and stop at that because even if I won big on that tenner I know I would put it all back on and then chase so there is absolutely no point in putting that tenner on

Knowing those thoughts which are pushing through more now than the thoughts to gamble (if that makes sense) just makes me stronger to keep abstaining and maintaining one day at a time

I cannot win because I cannot stop but I am winning every day I don't play

I will not be playing today because I am going to be a winner today and that feels good

Wishing everyone a positive and strong gambling free day

Suzanne xx

Diary

Thoughts

Gambling really is a wAste of our time lives money and future

The past is gone tomorrow's not here today is now

Nothing changes if nothing changes

So we can change our future and live a happier healthier future by making that choice to abstain and maintain one day at a time

It is as simple as that

As CGs we cannot win with this self destructive addiction because we cannot stop

My choice for today is to abstain and maintain and I have made the change to win each day by not playing

I will never give up on giving up

That's feels sooo good

Works calls now (not so good) lol

Suzanne xx

Morning Suzanne,

Well done on 107 days what a wonderful achievement big respect to you.

By mid October that will be me,

Enjoy work ( ha ha ) I know you will stay strong as can see the conviction in your words, and you are definitely an inspiration to me and others.

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxxx

Another day another dollar not spent on gambling.

Suzanne

Congrats on 107 days gambling free. Keep it up and I am sure you will make it to 150 and 200.

Craig x

Thanks for your kind words,its great to see your keeping so positive. X

Scottyboy

Good morning diary

108 days and not even one penny spent on any form of gambling

The dreaded late shift today and then early tomorrow

Thoughts of gambling tucked away right at the back of my mind

It does get easier as the days mount up to dismiss any thoughts and urges but I will never underestimate this self destructive addiction that ruins so many lives

I will not be playing today because it does not interest me at all today

Wishing everyone a strong positive and peaceful day

Suzanne xx