Life begins again

Morning Suzanne.

176 days is fantastic.

Nearly 6 whole months.

Have a great day.

Steve xxx

Hi Suzanne, Keep up the good work! 176 days is great, something I'd like to reach.

Hi Suzanne amazing as ever,your doing a great job.i haven't posted for a bit as I have been run off my feet with work but glad to get back posting tonight.take care Scottyboy xx

Day 177 us truly amazing.

Have a lovely day.

Steve xxx

Good morning diary,

177 days of not having a messed up mind and life through gambling, and that feels sooo positive.

Making that right choice again today to abstain and maintain. Taking one day at a time.

Work soon but only 8 working days left til I am made redundant,did a course yesterday on CVs and interview techniques at work, other half of it tomorrow.

Still have chest infection and feel under the weather, but it's not surprising my immune system is low with everything that's going on in my life right now.

Wishing everyone a positive strong and calm gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne

Well done and hope you feel better soon. Hope the course goes well and keep strong

Take care and best wishes

Cheryl xxx

Morning Suzanne

Those days just keep clocking up and it's put you in a fantastic position , I hope the job front gets sorted out soon and will be a worry of your mind , the positive is in your in a great place mentally to deal with it

Castle2

178 days is fab and you are getting ever closer to that big 6 month milestone.

Great work Suzanne.

Steve xxx

Good evening diary,

178 days of winning, because I have not spent even one penny on any form of gambling.

Shattered tonight, this virus is taking its toll, but not in any way making me feel weak to have any nasty thoughts.

Am cuddled up in bed telly on posting in here, and I feel normal and calm.

A week til payday, but I have more than enough left in my account to last, and no thoughts whatsoever to gamble any of it.

5.30 start tomorrow, but will fly through the shift, because all is well in my world today, why, because I have not gambled. Simple as that.

Life is sooo much clearer and simpler without gambling in it.

Wishing everyone a happy and calm gambling free evening.

Suzanne xx

Wooooohoooo 178 days is amazing,sorry to hear your not feeling good Suzanne.the main thing is your staying gamble free because that makes when your not feeling well 100 times worse.get well soon. Scottyboy xx

Thank you for the post Suzanne

I'm so pleased you are keeping on track and the demons at bay.

Life is such a learning curve that doesn't end the day we leave school. If anything we learn more with age and experience. It's how we choose to deal with and learn from each lesson.

Looking back on life living with a CG I can compare it too a very long and exhausting game of hide and seek

Him forever hiding and me forever looking.

I'd peer round corners before walking (so to speak) always afraid of what I'd find.

It was such a long nightmare. Like those bad dreams that keep reoccurring where I'd be walking along a little nervous, then realise actually everything's ok I don't have to be afraid of walking this street, only for the bad man to jump out from hiding

Then back to square one of peeking round corners before turning them

Life today is so much different. The path I walk is safer and well lit. I'm not exhausted from playing a boring game of hide and seek. I will never truly know what's around that corner but I'm not afraid to take a bold step to look. No more peaking in fear.

Why? Because I am keeping safe x

Hi,

would like to say thanks for your post. I am pretty sure things will get better as time moves forward. I am nealry past the self loathing phase. However, the road ahead is long and I have let my family down a number of times. Lets be positive about this though?

One more note, I can relate to your words and it sounds very similar to me...The thing is this country is selling the American dream to all...Therefore, it is only partly our faults....We are a bit daft when we let our gaurds down, Fight it, and you will succeed!!

Regards.

Congratulations on day 179.

Tomorrow is a big fat 180.

Superb Suzanne.

Have a great day.

Steve xxx

Thanks as always Suzanne! As long as I'm always a few steps behind you I know il be ok 🙂

Good afternoon diary,

179 days of starving that horrible addiction, and 179 days of abstaining and maintaining one day at a time.

I have had one of those awful stressful and defensive days at work.

It started with the alarm not going off, (I set it wrong) so I was soo late getting up to be at work for 6.00am, but I got there on time, then everything was thrown at me at work, talk about crucifying someone before they are made redundant,they take every last breath from you, even though you are not well, They work you to the bone, but that is how it works now, and I am sooo glad I am leaving.

6 months ago I after being stressed from work would come home and destress by gambling, I really see the light now, because work took everything I had, physically and mentally, and then I would come home and let gambling take everything and more, result even more than I ever knew. How sad and ridiculous was that.

I have come home totally stressed and feel let down but I have not been tempted or had any thoughts to gamble(and I have spare money in my account) because of one reason, my recovery has taken over from my addiction, what has happened at work is similar to what happens when I gambled, LOW ESTEEM, NO CONTROL NEGATIVNESS, so why did I come home from that at work and make myself feel even worse.

Duncs posted to me never give up on recovery, I now know what he means, it's more important to me than any negative thought about gambling.

Recovery is the only way to go in the end, and by abstaining and maintaining that recovery gets stronger and stronger, why when life is giving us S***e do we make it worse by gambling, that is surely a road to self destruction, we are all worth far more than that.

Whatever S***e life throws at us, GAMBLING will never make it better it just makes it worse.

I know what my choice is tonight NO GAMBLING.

Wishing everyone a positive strong and safe gambling evening.

Suzanne xx