Life begins again

Hi Suzanne

Thanks for your post, really appreciate it.

Well done on the 179 days, cracking effort.

I was reading your last post earlier, and loved the line "my recovery has taken over from my addiction"

Will take a lot of effort, but I would like to get to that feeling. And when I do, will keep putting the effort in that is needed to remain there.

Have a good weekend

M

Thanks for the post Suzanne. I was on a bit of a downer yet your positivity has helped in lifting my spirits. In actual fact I really don't have any major problems just the usual things that niggle away at our minds but when I step back from it I realise there are an awful lot of positives in my life. All the more reason why I just don't need gambling. sounds like you have far more to deal with yet manage to keep cheery and positive. keep it going - always 104 days behind! M.End.

Good morning diary,

180 days of not spending even one penny on any form of gambling.

Feeling positive and very strong this morning, as far as gambling goes, NO WAY DO I WANT TO GAMBLE TODAY.

Short shift at work in at 12 til 6 and day off tomorrow.

Still have this awful cold, cough, can't shift it, have tried all sorts of medication, just have to let it take its course.

Continuing to make that right choice of abstaining and maintaining one day at a time, it is the only way I want to go, and that is very positive for me.

Wishing everyone a happy strong and positive gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

180 days is just fantastic.

Keep up the great work.

Have a good short shift and a lovely day off tomorrow.

Keep going.

Steve xxx

Hi Suzanne,

180 days is fantastic!

It is another milestone well deserved.

You are doing so well in your commitment to your Recovery.

I hope you can shake off that cough. Sometimes you need an antibiotic if you can't shift it. I'm hopeless for going to the doctor but great for sending everyone else.

Take care,

Suzy

181 days is just fantastic.

Keep it up.

Have a great day.

Steve xxx

Thanks Steve as alwaysxx

181 days of abstaining and maintaining.

It's my birthday today, and to be honest, I feel flat.

Have day off, going out for lunch with OH, but I don't feel like I deserve any celebration, the last six months of having no spare money, because it's all gone on gambling debts, brings it all home again, not to me, to my OH, he has not had one spare penny either, this will be the first time we will be going out for a meal for about 8 months.

I know I am doing well clocking these gambling free days up so I should feel great today, but the truth is I don't, I have done too much damage to all my family, and 8 years of futile gambling is still taking its toll.

I do feel very positive today about abstaining, but I can't help but feel negative about the real damage gambling has done.

I feel so sorry for my OH because he can't buy me anything, (if that makes sense) because he feels guilty because he has no extra money, I don't want anything from him, but it makes me feel so ashamed because I am the reason he is feeling guilty.

I am not bothered about my birthday, my thoughts are with all my family today, because I have scarred their lives.

My OH and my family know about my addiction and debt, but they don't understand that there is no quick fix to the aftermath, they are fine now, but I am not, because recovery will always be with me, especially on family occasions, not the urge to gamble, the regret of having gambled (if that makes sense).

I feel today that even if I had 10000 in my bank and no debt, I would still not be happy because of what I have done.

Gambling should be broadcast more, like smoking, drugs, and alcohol, it is the Pitts, but it won't be, because everyone but the gambler makes too much money on it.

THE GAMBLER ALWAYS LOSES IN THE END, and I am not talking about money, that can always be replaced.

The thought of gambling today makes me feel sick, and totally repulses me, so that has to be a big positive for me.

Gambling just creates more lost souls, and I sincerely wish everyone a peaceful, strong and positive gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Fantastic post Suzanne!

I really feel and understand everything you just said!

Its my birthday next month so does that make us both Scorpios???

Happy birthday and try to have a lovely meal.

Steve xxx

Morning suzanne

A belated happy birthday

Our past always comes and bites us from time to time unfortunately for now there's not an awful lot you can do , every day week month year that passes will only make it better for you and your OH , I'm sure he is proud of your achievements and is so pleased that he has you back from the evils that gambling can bring

Castle2

Congratulations on 182 days.

1/2 a day from 6 months.

6 months is fanrastic.

So glad u had a nice time yesterday.

Steve xxx

Hi Suzanne

Well done, am still here but struggling emotionally at present.

Take care and best wishes Cheryl xxx

Hi Suzanne,

Happy Birthday for yesterday!

Birthdays can stir up mixed emotions.

Take care,

Suzy

Morning Suzanne.

What can I say apart from a huge congratulations on the massive milestone of 6 months.

How good does that feel.

Have a great day.

Steve xxx

Thanks for supportive messages, very much appreciated.xx

Good morning diary,

182 days gamble free.

183 days which makes a full 6 months of standing up for myself my sanity and my freedom to live in the real world, by making that right choice every single day, to Abstain and maintain, and I have done this for 6 months, how good is that, ver very positive for me to keep abstaining and maintaining, through all the ups and downs of real life.

I cannot turn the clock back, I cannot pay all my debts off quickly, I cannot forget the devastation I caused, BUT I have turned a very big corner and I am determined to stay on the right road of recovery.

Debts will be paid off eventually, time does slowly heal the mistakes we make, am very positive about that today because I have a future, and am looking forward to it without any form of gambling in my life.

Worked yesterday and on late shift today and back in early tomorrow, but not many more shifts to do, before I leave.

Ten of us are going, and we all can't wait.

Pay day Friday, but I have enough money left in my account to pay another PD loan off, before Pay day,

and treat myself and OH if I want to.

So even though in heavy debt long term, the short term debts are nearly gone, and I have been able to achieve this by not spending one penny on any form of gambling in the last 6 months, and that feels great to write.

Gambling thoughts today, NONE a big fat zero, I prefer winning my life back taking one day at a time, why would I want to do otherwise.

Wishing everyone a positive strong and peaceful gambling free day.

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzanne,

6 months what an achievement. Well done.

Also the zero thoughts of gambling is huge too.

Just want to say keep it up and look forward to that time when your pay cheque is all yours to spend On yourself and your other half and not debts or gambling

Mba