Hey all,
Realised I haven't updated this for a bit, so here it goes!
I had my DWP assessment, they agreed I should be in the LCWRA band for universal credit. So I will be gain an increase from next month and a sizeable backdate! This is come very much needed to be able to pay a large chunk from my DMP.
Nothing happened legally yet, photocopied my statements and need to start going through them methodically, the task terrifies me to see what the final result will be.
Hoping you are all OK, having good gamble free weeks. Another few weeks and I'll have gone 3 years, seems amazing to think that when I couldn't go a few hours without gambling!
Best wishes all
S x
Some good news, re your DWP assessment Stephen. As regards the rest, steady as you go. Whatever will be will always be, but you have an underlying strength you didn't have before, plus you have very good support all round, so you're in a much better place 🙂
Congratulations Steven for being a true inspiration to me. You erred in the past but showed remorse and accepted responsibility for your actions.
1050 days ago you set off on a gamble-free journey of recovery and since than have had to cope with all sorts of guilt and uncertainty. However, you have persevered and soon there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
I take off my hat and salute your courage. You have shown yourself to be a man of honour and integrity who has battled bravely against an insidious addiction.
Aum ?
Hello all my Gamcare friends,
I realised that I have been absent from keeping my own diary up for a while, so it's about time I posted again to get up to date.
Gambling wise I'm fine, no real urges or thoughts, blocks still in place. Continuing to pay my debt off and it's starting to get to the end of the tunnel in that regard.
Mood wise - I must admit this has been difficult over the past few weeks. It seems like my anxiety has been up and down, and now it's affecting everyday life. It seems like the simplest thing, even household stuff, sets it off where I can't sometimes get up for a couple hours. Even minor changes during the day (I know my autism plays a big impact with this) upset my mind and sometimes feel out of control.
Medication has been increased but think I need further help, so I've booked a review with my GP. Honestly feel a bit like a fraud, but guessing it's genuine and showing a sign I need assistance. Big thanks to family and boyfriend for dealing with me during this, I can't have been the easiest person to live with!!
Also thanks to the support received from Gamcare chatroom over last week.
Over and out... much love all
Steven x
Hey Steven,
Thank you for all the support and really inspiring to read your story!
Hope everything went ok in the end with the investigation. It was really brave of you to share that. I know it must have been a really tough time for you with your health.
So proud you've stayed strong though and are still fighting each day! I hope one day I'll be 3 years on, looking back and nearly clearing the last of the debts off and starting anew!
Always here if you need any support! ❤
Matt
Hello all,
Realised it's been a couple of weeks since I updated this, so here goes...
Thankfully no gambling to report again, one or two thoughts but used the usual strategies to get rid of the thoughts.
Finances going well, DMP is getting paid off on an increased rate, and today (for first time ever!) I paid my car insurance off in one go, so thats saved a few pounds!
However, the household has been unfortunately hit by Covid! So we are in isolation till Friday. Taking lateral flow tests every other day, thankfully they've all shown negative to now, so shows the double vaccine is working.
Being stuck in has been hard, even looking at my car which hasn't moved since Wednesday. Hopefully, we'll be released by Friday, and back to relative normal. Just a struggle to keep occupied and not sleep all day. Chatroom during this time has been great as a substitute GA, to which I obviously can't attend during this.
Had a chat with my GP about my anxiety, and have been referred for counselling, so feeling a little better that something has come out of it.
Hoping you are all well
Much Love
S x
Well it's time for me to update this again I think...
Out of isolation now, had a lovely meal last night to celebrate being free! Bit too much wine consumed though, so spent half of day with hangover. Oh well you only live once.
Bit of a strange day in terms of feelings.it marks 4 years the day I was sacked from work after being discovered that I used work’s money and commited fraud. Still no further forward to this ending, wish I could close the chapter on it. Yes a court appearance ain't going to be fun, but at least it will signal the end of it all and we can move on.
Still, not going to let it get me down or force me back gambling, I’ve worked too hard in my recovery up to now.
Hoping you’re all ok.
Much Love
S x
Your doing amazing, although we cannot change our pasts, the money lost, the deceit we caused! We CAN change our future and your showing you have done that and you have control.
Glad you enjoyed your evening following isolation ???
Your doing amazing, although we cannot change our pasts, the money lost, the deceit we caused! We CAN change our future and your showing you have done that and you have control.
Glad you enjoyed your evening following isolation ???
Totally agree with the sentiments of Secretaddict ?. She is indeed a wise and compassionate soul.
Congratulations also from me Steven for your excellent progress in recovery.
It is inspiring to see you gamble-free for well over 3 years. I do believe you have worked hard to achieve this and also to bring about positive changes to yourself and those around you.
Maintain your positive outlook, never lose hope and don't forget to smile. Life is not only a great adventure, it is a also a learning process for those who are prepared and willing to make changes as and when necessary.
Respect to a good man
From Aum
?
Thank you both Secretaddict and Aum, for your kind words of wisdom.
Secretaddict - thank you for your support and encouragement both here and in the chatroom, it has been invaluable having a friendly face like yourself for support.
Aum - thanks for your words of kindness, your poems both in my diary and yours always lift my spirits, so keep being musical please!
Today has been productive. We've rearranged the dining room for a new table, took 2 car loads to the tip. Tomorrow I have the pleasure of presenting a 2 year coin at GA to a good friend and fellow member in recovery, and i'm thrilled to be asked to personally do it.
Much Love
S x
Hello there my Gamcare friends,
Time for another update I think.
Isolation period passed without incident, all negative still so thankfully we didn't contract it here. But I think it was a very close shave. Thanks to all the support here and the chatroom, which replaced my normal GA sessions which I obviously couldn't attend.
Was good to get back to GA, and had the privilege of presenting a fellow member/ friend his 2 year coin! It's always a pleasure to do that, and had a couple of new members recently so it brings it all back to why we are in recovery in the first place.
Again no word on the police/ legal tale, getting a bit anxious about it now to be honest. But best not prod a sleeping dragon in the eye I guess?
Hope everyone is OK
Much Love
S x
Hi Stephen, wow three years!!!! That's gonna be some achievement..... Wow horray..... You are an inspiration.
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